Cliche advice that sets us back

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They want 'normal' people and have the means to be choosy thanks to NAIRU - Non-Accelerating Inflation Rate of Unemployment, a holy minimum of unemployment that Western governments have sworn by since 1980. The bosses want unemployment so those who don't conform to the norm are kept out permanently. You must be aware of this fact because if you're being kept out it is not your fault, it is the fault of the government and the ruling class during the past 30 years. If you are blaming yourself, and I'm sure that you are because our disgusting, sick society pressures people to do so, stop doing so to the best of your abilities. It really is the fault of the ruling class and they should be the focus of your anger. Everyone must know about the NAIRU out there, for if they did they may see the unemployed in a different light. The ruling class of course wants to keep people in the dark about NAIRU because they want to whip up hatred against unemployed people and get these people to blame themselves which serves their evil goals perfectly. The ruling class is the enemy.

They say it is fun to dance in nightclubs. I think understanding this is beyond my capability.

What life? Many of the things people consider to be a "life" involve things I don't want, like getting a partner, getting married, and having kids.

I used to go to bars a long time ago and looking back my time would have been better spent playing video games. At least video games don't give you hangovers.

As someone who studied economics In university I would have laughed you off 5 years ago but the more time I spend "in the trenches" the more I know you know what you are talking about. I could write a novel on what I have learned but let me just say you are not far off the truth. I blamed myself for years but eventually clued in that my employment troubles were because I was TOO smart and honest as crazy as that sounds. I see right through the illusion and see the blank wall at the back of the stage.

I got the chance to meet some "ruling class" people and they truly are the enemy: they have just done an excellent job of making us take our eye off the ball. Boy do I ever feel foolish for falling for their slick (I.e. "Free Market") propaganda and being their advocate.

It depends on where you lie on the spectrum. Also, it depends on your strengths/weaknesses (which can be both).
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GET OVER IT ! !! !

MOVE ON!! !

LoL.

Well, damn, some people have a pretty good memory.

Cliches are based on non-autistic socialized situations. Often-times, they are not helpful to Autists. Sometimes, they can be down right detrimental.

Even the experts have trouble teasing out the stark contrasts in the perception and behavior of Autists. So much so. that i suspect quite a few of the diagnoses are simply a product of an Autistics....natural neurology.

This is why sometimes IF you don't say IT; it's okay to think IT........

[youtube]video removed by moderator for swearing[/youtube]


TheSunAlsoRises

"I'm 82 years old and was never able to make a friend"
"Go out to movies, clubs, volunteer"

From motivational speakers to politicians to religious leaders, they really do NOT know how to reach this population THAT IS for the most PART.


It's a culture like no other...........and they do NOT understand IT.

Non-Autistics move from a position of what they understand from their culture....encouraging conformity based on their individual/group cogno-perspective(new term i made up).


TheSunAlsoRises

OMG yes. "Just relax and be yourself and people will like you." NO. People don't like me the way I am, and that's the problem!!

"It's your negative attitude that's keeping people away"

BS! I've heard this one so many times but it's strange how years of smiling in school led me to be bullied and called gay over and over again. I've recently started smiling and genuinely trying to be nice and while there has been a slight increase in people I talk to many (especially women) seem to think I have ulterior motives for some reason. That's not even mentioning the most popular guys I know are either constantly negative or treat their partners like s***!

This is why sometimes IF you don't say IT; it's okay to think IT........


I'm not encouraging people to say f*ck off; Just to be clear....


TheSunAlsoRises

My favorite is
"no one can live alone"
"be good for people and they'll be good for you" (who invented that???)
"you will meet your special girl"
"you just have to try harder and be more optimistic"

and best of the best: "you are adult, when you are planing to have children?"

Indeed, I do not possess burgers composed of the hind of an animal.


the one i had to content with in boarding school (you're not different just copying you're friends).

and 'practice makes perfect (in relational to social skills) how can I practice something I never had. it would be like practising to grow wings..

Ass burgers are not kosher either.

Any "generic wisdom" like this just annoys me - sayings that sound profound unless you think carefully about their practical implications, especially in a specific situation.

Plenty of good ones have already been said, but I'll add a couple more:

(Typically said to children) Your parents will always be there for you, trust me.
Really? You're totally sure of that without knowing anything my parents or the relationship between us? Actually, anything including "trust me" or "take my word for it" is immediately suspect.

(Typically said to suicidal people) You have so much to live for!
I haven't heard this one myself (thankfully), but it would only make me feel even less understood. I've actually read people saying that such stupid advice made them more suicidal (they were still here to say so, though).

"you've got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps"
"you're depressed because you stay home,go out and make friends"
"people don't do good by themselves"
"think positive and things will get better"
"it's all in your head"

"The more you practice, the more social skills you'll get. You just need experience."

"Don't worry so much about how you come across." (implying that the worry button can be turned off, to unveil hidden social prowess)

"Go to a club. Volunteer. Find people who have the same interests that you have. You'll make friends."

"You need to just relax."

"Just be yourself."

"Ask questions that show interest in the other person." (Sure, the questions will magically come to my head....and they will be the right questions that aren't creepy or just weird)

"You just need more confidence."

"If you like yourself, others will like you." (hell i like myself, at least to the extent that i can't help that i'm an aspie and socializing will always be an uphill battle....but it still hurts if more often than not, i get the cold shoulder. i believe concrete success, coupled with the real, evolutionary need to be accepted + positive results are essential)

We can like ourselves all we want, but if we don't really feel that others like us, does this really increase self-confidence?

Liking oneself does not equal confidence that one will be liked.