What are your problems with speech?

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Certain people can not understand me. I can repeat myself twice and they still don't understand me. In my head it sounds right.

My parents once had a problem with my accent. I still have the accent.

I have an accent, but no one can place it. Sometimes I speak in a monotone voice, especially when I am expected to speak for a long period of time. As a graduate student, I often speak a long period of time to my adviser, but a lot of times he cannot understand the ideas that I am trying to get across, so I have to repeat myself in a different way or draw a picture. I see the image of what I want to say in my head--I just can't say it right out loud, or if I do, the person doesn't understand. It's so frustrating.

I was also forced into some kind of speech testing for a therapy session as a small child in elementary school (although I don't know exactly why it was). I do remember that one time I mispronounced the number "zero" as the answer to a math question as a seven-year-old. My elementary school teacher brought attention to it by laughing hysterically, and of course the other kids joined in. I think ever since then I was a bit more contemplative about what I wanted to say aloud.

I think the word-finding delay must come with being a primarily non-verbal thinker. I occasionally have that but it's usually someone's name that I'm forgetting. Temporarily forgetting names of people I've known for a long time is especially embarrassing and I wonder if people think I'm somehow already developing Alzheimer's in my 30s. lol. Only I've always been that way.

I also have the delays which can be frustrating and I can get a little irritated when I'm having trouble getting my word in edge-wise, especially in a group setting. I'll often pause to think for longer than normal and somehow the other person hasn't registered that I haven't completely finished my thought and they will resume talking the exact moment that I do. Then we simultaneously apologize for interrupting each other at which point I'm so flustered that I completely forget what I was trying to finish.

Another problem I have I can't tell long jokes or stories. I try to tell stories but get the feeling my delivery is boring people. Plus I easily get my entire train of thought interrupted when there's some bothersome distraction and I often just give up and don't even try to finish what I said. Once in a while someone will act interested enough to want me to complete my thought and try to help me get started again, but most of the time they change the subject and I end up feeling like my contribution went unappreciated, then I get bitter and self-conscious and go silent for a long time.

I do this too. I was always under the impression that it showed that I could identify and understand with whoever I'm talking with, but it was just recently pointed out to me that many people consider more as conceited, rude and self-centered.

Ah... My speech issues have been heavily downplayed. I'm now consciously addressing them for the first time...

- I sound like a doddering idiot in person. My voice is weak; it does not carry unless I raise my voice to the point of sounding angry
- I stutter when nervous
- Sometimes I cannot start sentences without "pushing hard" or stuttering a few times
- I jumble words at times (garble), get phrases, words and consonants out of order, mixed pronouns a few times

......Unless it's rehearsed or on a topic I am passionate about. Then I can rattle off paragraph after paragraph without hesitation.