Worried about being told I do not have an ASD

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You could even have two ASD's. Either way, you'd have been born with them.

Don't forget the Atrial Septal Defect.

I too have been "hoping" to be diagnosed with AS, and I think that's a great description of why. Autism is the first thing that has ever really helped me to make sense of my life of struggles and confusion. I think it would be slightly devastating to have a professional tell me that I'm wrong and that I'm actually more confused than I've ever been. I guess it's just the "hope" of finally having found the answers to questions I've been asking for my entire life. The hope of finding some tips on how to manage my problems that actually help for a change. The hope of feeling like I can more legitimately be a part of this wonderful community here on WrongPlanet (which would be an honor by the way, you all are so strong and admirable). The hope of my friends and family becoming more understanding of my limitations and behavior. I honestly feel that a diagnosis would improve my life, which is something that I've been hoping for before I even knew about AS. It's the hope of a better life.

The notion that wanting to have a diagnosis is the same thing as wanting to have autism is absolutely ridiculous. If you have autism, you have autism, diagnosis or not. The OP isn't hoping to be autistic, she's hoping to receive proper help she's needs and to validate the fact that the difficulties she's had throughout her life are because of a developmental disorder. I didn't ask to have the difficulties I have and sure as hell didn't want to have them, but the fact is I do and getting a diagnosis enabled me to get the help I needed.

OP, I'd recommend finding a therapist experienced in diagnosing AS in adults. Unfortunately there are still a lot of psychologists out there who don't know anything about AS or how it presents in adults (even so called autism specialists if they only have experience with children and/or lower functioning populations). It's worth it to see someone reputable. And if you're not satisfied with your first evaluation you can always go for a second opinion.

I can't imagine how confused I would've been not having been told at an early age that this is what was wrong with me. I don't know how people live with this not knowing. Even if I kept that information to myself, at least I usually knew "oh, this problem must be for that reason." It was a really helpful bit of information about myself and it's hard to imagine what I'd be like if I hadn't known and hadn't made the decisions I did based on the opinions and advice of one man I met when I was about 9. So every time I hear of an adult who probably has it but isn't sure, I wonder if it was as super difficult growing up like that as I imagine it must be?

I can't imagine that anybody would want to be diagnosed with this that doesn't have it either, but when it explains all the problems like nothing else does...as they say "when they shoe fits, wear it"? I also think it can be medically important to know.
If you have health insurance now it certainly wouldn't hurt to get the diagnostic tests done and find out what they say. When I was diagnosed they didn't have them like they do now, so I wonder sometimes if the modern tests could tell me or my doctors anything useful? I've found it's one thing to know for yourself and something different entirely to have a professional at your back with facts backing him up. I've had spectrum stuff get mistaken for other medical things on multiple occassions and it can really suck when nobody has your back.

I did have some good therapy in spurts, and I couldn't have gotten along without it. I did also go for long periods of time really isolated from support. Being on the spectrum isn't all negatives either, and when you're in a community of people who have it, like Alex has so kindly made here for us, we've got a great place to learn in a forgiving environment. We can also share the things nobody else can understand...both the bad the good that can come with this.
So I would encourage you to go be curious about yourself (I plan to). We seem to be very good at that.

I agree with this.

OP - I'm in the same position. I've not yet been diagnosed, and I'm really wanting to be. It's not that I want to have an ASD. I just believe I do, so I want to get the diagnosis in order to help me understand and get help. Without a diagnosis there's still this element of "it might be ASD, but what if it's something else and I'm not addressing it?" An ASD is something I've come to terms with and feel able to handle. I worry about it being something else, or being misdiagnosed; having an ASD but it not being recognised and then not being able to get the right help.

Maybe professionals don't think you have ASD is because you don't look or act the part in public which is a plus for you. Sometimes I wished I didn't look or act the part, but that isn't going to happen. I for one don't find your post offensive. I don't have to worry about that since some people have gone as far as saying I look ret*d and have been called stupid. In fact my mom was seriously having me put away because all of the mental issues I had when I was a child.

I think probably you will need to do a little research and get all of the traits associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder, written down. Then when you go to the doctor you can show him or her your list.