AS Male/ People assume or ask if your gay constantly

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I'm starting to realize the reason why girls talked to me but didn't like me in high school was likely because they assumed I was gay. It's only know I realize why: when someone asked me once if I was straight I told them not quite because I thought they meant my posture as I was working on that at the time. I also never participated in the whole macho male BS scene and had thoughts outside of sex and alcohol. Of course, when the women avoid you because they think you are gay, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: they continue to think it because I'm not getting any female attention and the cycle continues!

I've never to my knowledge been hit on by any gay man. I did have a co-worker who was openly gay once and we got along great as friends (as he did with everyone male or female) but that was it. I have no issues with homosexuality but I couldn't be the furthest thing from one!

Definitely. People on the phone use "ma'm" instead of "sir" when talking to me. And it's annoying.

I've heard this too, and I also read that women on average think about sex about once every 3 days.

I wonder where I fit into all this? I'm a 52-year-old woman and I think about sex all the time! Probably a dozen times a day at least. Is this part of the AS theory that Aspie females have more masculine traits than NT females?

Sarcasm?

People (mostly females) don't ask me they just assume it just because I don't want to get involved with anyone. Considering how vile those females are it's not wonder why I choose single life.

Internet pr0nz better, yo?

yep some people assume it especially females but my theory is that they are just scared of someone who can out smart them. i mean seriously no female expects a guy to outsmart them lol so they just think oh he must be gay..

Last edited by Australia on 21 Sep 2012, 5:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

Absolutely.Smarter men are hard to manipulate

I am actually what most people would say is a rather butch gay black autistic man. I was able to hide my being gay effectively during my in the closet years. My grandparents were hard core Christian Homophobes. In school I was asked if I was gay at times but that was more because; I was NOT into sports at all. I was a total science geek \ nerd. I always got good grades on my tests without trying. I was aloof to girls and while I enjoyed looking at guys most of them were too course and stupid to either capture or keep my interest.

Being teased and torured constantly from having Autism hardened my heart toward people including men for a very long time so i became harsh and butch. I became so hard hearted that people stopped asking if I were gay because; they no longer felt I "acted gay." Even as an adult I am still a geek and a nerd love computers and technology. Love the internet and looking for answers to everything. I am brusk now. I'm gay and out of the closet but I keep myself to myself. If you ask am I gay I'll say yes immediately.

I've found that people have this idea of what a gay man should look and sound like and if you fall anywhere in that parameter set you get asked are you gay, autistic or not. If you sound and act like a brute who eats babies for lunch people leave you alone. I've had the opposite situation where a gay man refuses to believe I'm gay because; I don't come across as gay. People are more likely to think an autistic man is gay because; they know something is different about us but they are having trouble figuring out exactly what that difference is. If we are geeky, nerdish or just a bit off most guys chalk it up to us being gay. Most neurotypicals only detect autistics if their presentation is more stereotypical.

Just my two cents for what it is worth...

I get this all the time because I don't have a girlfriend or date very often, they assume I'm just ashamed to talk about a gay relationship. Which I wouldn't be. But I would have the same dating issues either way. NTs can't understand the double bind we are often in. Wanting theoretically to have someone close, but unable in practice to deal with it.