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Are we always wrong, then?

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Moondust
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26 Sep 2012, 1:12 pm

I met a new friend some time ago, she was a real friend, such a nice and kind person, I was so happy to have made this friend, we had wonderful times together.

Then a few months later, she started self-effacing (with the typical "busy" BS excuse) till I never heard from her again. Typical way my relationships with people end.

Losing a friend, for me, is a lot worse than for others, because the pain is threefold:

1. losing a friend
2. losing a friend for a MYSTERIOUS reason (she won't tell me the reason, of course)
3. losing a friend for a reason I ignore but that anyway I must assume to be my fault.

Same goes for being treated like garbage: I will not know the reason why I was treated like garbage by someone because they won't tell me, but anyway I must assume that, that which I don't know is my fault.

So the other is always right, and I'm always the one at fault.


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Ai_Ling
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26 Sep 2012, 2:05 pm

tchek wrote:
I posted this exemple a few weeks ago about that double standard, the fact that it is widely accepted that Aspies are lacking empathy toward NTs and that makes us "mentally ill", while the total lack of empathy NTs feel toward Aspies (leading from indifference to bullying) is totally acceptable and OK:

Case 1: When an Aspie is inconsiderate toward an NT and the NT is hurt, people will blame the Aspie for lacking empathy toward the feeling of others.

Case 2: inversely, when a NT bullies and is inconsiderate toward an Aspie, people will blame the Aspie's inability to "cope" with the social skill of the NT (instead of blaming the NT).

In both case, identical but inverted, the Aspie is considered the "wrongdoer" and the NT gets away with it.


Yep, thats the way it seems my mom looks at things. Ever since I got my aspergers diagnosis, my moms had her "hawk" eyes out. I dont tell her anything too personal anymore because of that reason. If I ever get into a situation, 90% of the time however the situation plays out, Im at fault.