People Taking Me Seriously When Joking

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This is kinda funny. Because I have the opposit problem. People laugh.when I'm.trying to be serious.

I'm kind of the opposite: everyone thinks I am hilarious, and I really don't try to be. Soooo...I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.....

Comedy is all about quick reading of your audience's mood, what leads in (or happens) before the joke, and the situation you are in. Stand up is the hardest job in the world (did it for 3 years).

Exhibit A. Fior's parent had a heart attack, with other complications, and can not drive. The other parent can BARELY drive. They live in the middle of no where. This gem falls out of his mouth, "Well, I guess you better move where there is public transport." He said it as a "joke".

My immediate reaction was -what the hell is wrong with you? And pretty much everyone said that to him.

Wrong situation, wrong person, wrong place in the conversation.

I had hope he said it as a "helpful tip", (which was still not appropriate during that discussion), but no, it was a joke.

The person was upset and venting. There is no way I could have logically place that line, during that conversation, where it could be considered light hearted.

Maybe during the time the parent was venting about buying a new car, because the current one is too hard to handle.

Person venting about the horrors of purchasing a new car, the decisions, creepy sales people, and I say,

"Man, it is a train wreck either way, and if you moved where there was mass transit, you'd get a free floor show every day from the friendlies. Nothing like watching the drunk and obnoxious getting tossed off on your way to church. Neither choice is fun, car buying or taking the bus."

May not be funny, but much less offensive the Fior's plunk the statement in the middle of a non related conversation.

Fior's jokes usually crash and burn, because he can not quickly read the situation, people's moods, and where the conversation is going.

Maybe it's because you are pressuring yourself to be funny. The main issue is (like many other folks have pointed out before) you are having difficulty syncing in with others. It might also be that other people are offended by you because of your awkward mannerisms associated with asd (ie talking to yourself, speaking in an unusual tone, nervousness toward others, etc. You must understand that social communication is a two way street between people. I've been isolated from my peers for 14 years so I understand that it gets tougher the longer you wait. Go out there and remember before interacting, recognize your thoughts and feelings first, interpret what the other person (or people) might be thinking or feeling by paying attention to their cues and you should be good to go. I was once in your place too (and I sometimes though not as frequent find myself in the exact same place again and again). You gotta understand their perspective on you and you have to understand their's. It's really that simple. Because only 7% of what we convey is the words themselves. With this knowledge (and after closely observing and adapting the mannerisms and communication style/humor of anyone, you should be able to connect with any personality). What most people often do when they first meet someone is make appropriate judgments in their mind on how to approach them without being too tame or offensive (trust me, you can get better with this. All you have to do is practice). Good Luck.

If you're still struggling, consider recording yourself having a conversation (or attempting to banter with an NT) on video (hidden camera). Watch and pay attention closely at how you interact and watch the body language of the other person carefully (you may have to learn how to read body language/facial expressions before doing this).

The original post was 8 years ago I think, so I won't offer any advice.

I've sometimes been taken seriously when I've been joking. Worst time was when in fun I said "well I am senior technician" in a fake snooty voice at work to a couple of people, in reply to some minor disagreement. It was supposed to defuse the situation by making a bit of a joke about it, emulating King Arthur in Monty Python And The Holy Grail where he says "well I am king," but they seemed to think I meant it seriously. I would have thought the fake snooty voice was enough to show it was supposed to be a joke, and I wouldn't have thought anybody who knew me could have believed I'd seriously see myself as being entitled to pull rank, but apparently they did, which was odd because they'd known me for years. Maybe they were just spoiling for a fight, or more annoyed at whatever the disagreement was than I thought they were. I suppose it was a bit insensitive of me to sidestep and trivialise their grievance by laughing it off, but they could have persevered if they'd felt that. I rather suspect they were as much in the wrong as I was, because they could have given me more of a chance instead of jumping to conclusions and flying off the handle like that. Still, nobody's perfect I guess.

I often did assume that everybody had seen the same movies and TV shows as I had, which was a mistake, so I don't do that so much these days. Another problem is that I tend to deliver my jokes deadpan, so obviously some people aren't going to know I'm joking. The trouble is, I do it for a good reason. If a person makes a joke while indicating it's supposed to be funny, then it can put quite a burden on the listener to either laugh or risk daunting or embarrassing the speaker. I hate it when somebody makes a joke and puts me in that situation, because I'm not good at faking a laugh, and I don't feel it's a very genuine way to be, and I don't want to buy into that NT fake schmooze thing. So I don't like to put people in that awkward situation, I'd rather be deadpan. That way, if nobody laughs then the failure doesn't stand out.

So maybe the trick in my case would be to keep doing as I do, but to also stop cracking jokes when people are trying to be serious.

One person told me that I have this kind of vitreolic thing going on where I exaggerate the ludicrous nature of what I see, but that I do it in a way that shows I don't mean it to be taken entirely seriously. They said they liked it. I'm sure not everybody would like it, but you can't please everybody. I like to think I have the kind of interpersonal style that would annoy pompous and judgemental people while entertaining more down-to-earth people. But I'm not always like that. I have a few masks for situations where my natural style wouldn't work.

Peopel always take me seriously when 90% of the time i'm joking around.

Woody Allen was a successful joke writer for TV for years, but when he first tried stand-up, those same jokes fell flat. He had to develop a funny persona to successfully present them to the general public. I have the worst luck with jokes requiring some technical background, and various other failures, but can still often use humour to leaven a situation. I've probably suffered from a few jokes that were taken seriously, though.

...

I remember one time my friend texted me and made a sort of prediction on what I was doing and he predicted right, so I jokingly texted back saying "you must be psychic, that's exactly what I'm doing" and I even put a couple of smiley faces, but he took offense to the word 'psychic', which I didn't think was an offensive thing anyway, let alone when used as a joke. Anyway I heard people use that phrase a million times when someone predicted something right like it's more like a saying and not something to be offended by. My friend was NT.

This happens to me and my mom told me it's how I word it and it makes people not pick up on it and my husband said it's because I am too serious so it's hard to know when I am being sarcastic or when I am joking. In real life I had learned to laugh after every joke I tell so people would know.

I once called a friend "neurotypical" and he didn't like that at all. He'd never heard the term before and presumably thought it had something to do with "neurotic." But I was only partly joking when I said it, so maybe that doesn't count.

It's happened all my life. People think I'm serious when I'm joking and joking when I'm serious.