vickygleitz wrote:
The second time was this past August. I was,planning to tell the story, but I can't. What happened,over a year and a half , was so unbelievably unbelievable [and horrible ] that I went mute. This time for a week. During that week i wondered if it would be forever. Until the past year and a half I have never even considered suicide. I thought that I had friends, NT friends, and many of them. I guess I was considered an "uppity" autistic that needed to be put in place. They deliberately and calculatingly talked each other in believing horrible things about me that could not possibly be true.{ I had indisputable PROOF they were untrue that I offerdd to provide, but they did not want to hear it. One woman even made it clear that she knew what the truth was and that I had better keep my mouth shut,
i did. other people were hurt, terribly, because of the lies. One man, a schizophrenic but very good man who I adopted as my brother, died in a monstrous way because of the lies. These people had me convinced that all of the horrible things my family had done to me as a child were alright. They had me convinced that I would be selfish not to take my life.
I have gone so far off subject that I'll go a little more. Last August, after going mute, [not because of being mute] I decided that for the sake of everyone I loved I needed to take my life, that there was NO other option. Because of something I can only describe as divine intervention, in the form of a book, I realized that I needed to stay alive as long as possible so that I could help other autistics[ especially my youngest son] to suffer less. Now, i have devoted the rest of my life to not only alleviating the pain inflicted on autistics but to help others thrive,
It's too bad people are like this where they make up lies and cause people problems. These were not real friends though. I hope you can go on to find real friends who do not do things like this. People who do these things have their own issues and not everyone is like this. Most people are not. I am glad you decided to live. I had a very good friend commit suicide a couple years ago and know others who have stories of people they were close to do the same. Suicide is often contagious.