terrible "accident"

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Against you? Deal with it yourself... or fail to do so and accept the consequences.
Around you but not involving you? Ignore it... or don't. Your choice really.

That they apply the label of "vigilante justice" to merely solving your own problems just shows how fvcked up society has become.

So I'm supposed to get robbed/assaulted/raped/murdered because some person on the internet tells me cops are bad? No thanks. I have no way to deal with these things myself.

If I hear my neighbors fighting and sounding like they are killing each other or see the building next door getting broken into (that happened last year) I'm just supposed to ignore it?

I even see it like this that the change to have a friend with mental problems, when you have mental problems yourself are astronomical high.
And the changes when you have mental problems yourself, to be in the need once (or more often) in your life to get help for someone with mental problems are also very high.

Maybe ppl with mental problems are also sometimes "overreacting" because of a situation with a friend or whatever, but on the other hand they know much more exactly how those situations are and sometimes notice things that others overlook. And to give no help at all, just because I have also been in therapy before is just prejustice, crazy, sick, whatever.
I'm mad because of this.

But he is dead now. Nothing will bring him back, no "sorry" and no "what could have been done different?". Nothing.

I feel real bad for you friend, it sounds like he was estranged from his family and pretty much didn't have a family left.
He was trying to hold on to what friends he had.

If you say your friend was gay/transgender?; and i am assuming you were a girl, what do you mean he was acting in a "sexual way"
I don't understand what "sexual way" you mean. It sounds like he had a meltdown since he just didn't want to be alone on New Years.
Obviously he had no one else to turn to aside from you.

I would have tried by darnest to calm him down through talking.

Gay and LGBT youth and people have a higher suicide rate in general than not gay lbtg people.

Many years ago i was slightly suicidal myself on a New Years Eve. I had drove a long ways to see a friend yet she was having a really bad day (she had her own issues which i understood) yet i had to end up driving home. Her dad was a godsend and both her and him spent time constantly on the phone with me until i got almost to the last stretch home. I kept having the urge to jump the bridge, yet i didn't. Many thanks to the continous phone support.

If she were to have called police or some hospital on me i definitely would have dived off a bridge. Most people don't want to be involuntarily institutionalized, especially probably someone transgender as people may not be sensitive to their issues and may make fun.

Sometimes many people just need a friend to talk to. Most don't want to kill themselves, that someone can talk them out or stop them is great. I have a friend with various issues and i make sure to answer the phone whenever he calls. He usually just needs confirmation that he is doing okay and that we care and that no one is mad at him.

Being that i have been around mental illness (and have 3 diagnosis) i have learned a lot from observing around and in the system. Including de-escalting folks by talking to them. The best is to not let it get so far out of control to begin with.

It is likely that if his family has abandoned him due to his sexuality choice, or they have been estranged so long, he will have no family to come to the morgue to claim his body. That is so sad



In Japan there is Jukai, it's actually a forest where many go to commit suicide. The park ranger does a good job in the video, if he see people, he tries to talk to them and stop them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FDSdg09df8

Raziel is a trans guy. *points to post buried somewhere in the first pages of the topic*. Don't let the kitten avatar fool you; guys are allowed to like cats, too.

I think in all our problem-solving we've been kind of passing over your obvious grief. I hope we haven't been stepping over any lines here. That's how I approach someone who is in distress--I try to solve their problem. But you're right. He can't be brought back, and you're probably going through a very hard time right now. For what it's worth, I think you sound like a resilient person--the sort of person who can work through pain and come out of it stronger. Which doesn't mean it's not going to suck in the meantime. But... you know. If you need to talk, rant, or get distracted by special-interest chatter, we're here.

Sometimes others can be irrational for reasons we will never understand, and sometimes there is no rational way to deal with irrational people. You were there for him & tried your hardest. No one can really ask for more than that. I am so sorry you are going through this.
It sounds like your friend was very distracted by being upset and That alone can cause a car accident, so I hope that is all it was.

I don't think that my friend was gay.
I believe the rumour is from the police themselfs, because he acted very weird this night.

Maybe I should take a mean kitten as avatar...!




Thanks for your kind words.
Well, I have a lot of stress since a whole bunch of time.

Yes, I'm pissed, have anxieties because of that and a whole bunch of other feelings and every day I wake up since the accident and the first thing I'm thinking of is his death.

You don't know me so don't call me naive you presumptuous fool. Of course there is an element of what you are talking about in society but that doesn't mean that everything the police touch turns to s**t like some kind of reverse Midas-effect. A society that is going to work properly needs police. Some of them are bad and some of them are good. Some of them would punch a granny if they thought they would get a bonus for it, sure. Most are just normal people trying to do their job - an essential job. They also do terrible things e.g. don't get me started on the war on drugs. In the OP's case though their presence was essential. I'm not going to respond to you again - this thread was about supporting the OP (nice job you're doing of that btw *facepalm*) not debating the merits of the means of application of corporate power and I think it has been derailed far enough already.

To the OP simply: *hugs*. There's nothing else useful I can say I think.

You could always make a little memorial for your friend. That's something i would do i love artsy things.
Making a memorial is respect for the dead, and i'm sure your friend would understand and like it even though he is passed.
You could make a private memorial at your home, or even one at the site of the accident.

I still didn't find out when and where the funeral is, because I'm no relative of him and have no right to get informed about private informations and there is no family of him I can ask. At least no family I know.
But I hope I'll find out tomorrow, that's just terrible.

Someone's life is gonna get ruined the moment you bring the pigs into it. Might be yours. Might be someone else's. Might be an innocent bystander. It'll be excessive no matter what.
You do have ways of dealing with these things yourself, if you just apply yourself to it. I'd hedge my bets you've just got too used to thinking of yourself as weak and incapable.



Unless the noise is disrupting your life, yes. Unless it is reducing your quality of life personally, then it is none of your business.
And in any case, I'd rate going round there with a baseball bat as infinitely preferable to any involvement from the pigs. They won't care if the noise is just a misunderstanding. Once they get called out, they're out to f**k something up.




As though I need to presume anything. You project your naivety in your words, free for the reading.



A society that works properly? Now that is a joke and a half. Modern society is an overextended mess, gradually repurposed over centuries to serve convoluted deceptions and confusions, and utilising the many many people as raw fuel. I agree that they're "normal people", but the fact remains that normal people are vicious, cruel and petty bastards given half a chance, and the police are given more than just that. In the form they are now, they're far from "essential"... and they were the absolute opposite of that in the OP's case.



Interpret it as you wish. Supporting the OP was never on my list of intents here. I just fill in the gaps in the commentary. The OP doesn't need my support.

Magnanimous, are you sure you were diagnosed correctly? From your posts you appear to have traits of schizoid personality disorder rather than Asperger's.

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc. ... doc&id=517

Obviously WP welcomes people irrespective of diagnosis, but if you continuously post in the vein you have been, you will end up ignored or here or in online disputes which get threads locked. That will serve no purpose whatsoever. And as to whether the OP needs your support, who are you to say that he doesn't? Every kind word or piece of decent advice can make someone feel better. If you are going to display such behaviour it's preferable that you don't post, especially on such a sensitive and serious thread as this.

Unless the noise is disrupting your life, yes. Unless it is reducing your quality of life personally, then it is none of your business.
And in any case, I'd rate going round there with a baseball bat as infinitely preferable to any involvement from the pigs. They won't care if the noise is just a misunderstanding. Once they get called out, they're out to f**k something up.
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I'd pick up a baseball bat before calling cops anyday, too.
My whole neighborhood would not call cops. People target shoot around here daily no one cares. They also argue scream and fight a lot.
Everyone minds their own business.
Know though, that were there a real problem such as somebody had a robber or bad person not from this area, half the neighborhood
would run outside armed in defense.

In a different state i lived in the folks would call cops every 5 mins over caca de toro.
Then when you need the help of cops, they are useless. Like if someone steals something.
Maybe they'd underpaid, maybe they just don't care, i don't know.

I do know one cop who is a friend of the family and she is awesome though.

Yet when people call the cops all the time, they could potentially be making a bad situation even worse.
Say for example my neighbors are verbally fighting, and someone calls the cops.
This makes the fighting couple more pissed off now that cops are involved, and they end up physically fighting with eachother, killing eachother or having a standoff.

Or say you call the cops on some people fighting and when the cops come, they take away the poor grandmother since she wasn't a legal resident of the country. Maybe she was helping with the kids? I don't know i just don't like to bring problems on people and no one likes a snitch.

If you can't handle living in an area where people are always fighting and it bothers you that much, maybe it's best to move to a quiet area.
There's always the possibility that the neighbors who fight would know you called on them and get revenge, especially if the majority where you live don't call cops on others.


I'm not sure what country your in, however even in areas of the USA, a lot of cops are just now getting trained in some areas (not many) on how to deal with mentally ill/etc individuals.

They need to go through special training for this, and the majority of police departments haven't. Those closer to bigger cities are more likely to have gone through the training, then you must hope they retain what they learn.

Here, a suicidal man was barricaded in his own home, the police showed up with a tank and what looked like a huge para military squad and ended up killing the man. It's so sad. So many do not know how to deal with mentally ill individuals at all.

The more educated police departments can be on mental health issues the better it is. I know there are NAMI groups that work with local police to train and educate them about mental illness.

Last edited by Chloe33 on 09 Jan 2013, 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

100% certain I was. I apply significant effort towards emotional detachment. Isn't like I just flowed that way naturally.
But then who knows. I doubt it is impossible for someone to be both. =p

Magnanimous to me you even sound more paranoid as my friend and he was once dx with paranoid ps.

Nothing personal though.

Paranoia is a bit of a thing for me... but my issues with the police are mostly inherited from my mother (apologies for pulling the Freudian excuse, but it is true). I am from a family of casual drug-users, afterall... though I tend to be the exception.

No... my real paranoia is that I might have been misled about everything... that the lies run so deep as to completely invalidate all I know and understand. It is an utterly weird and irrational fear, but I have it all the same...