Three Aspies Walk Into A Bar...

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My first thought when reading this topic was "Just kidding; that would never happen."

A neurotypical walks into an aspie bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, hit me." The bartender reaches over and punches him in the jaw.

An aspie walks into a bar at exactly 8:03pm on a Tuesday evening and the temperature is exactly 52 degrees outside and 75 degrees inside and the lighting is moderately subued and there are exactly 47 people inside and the license plate numbers on the cars closest to the bar are....................

There's more than a few jokes for all 3 in there.....

Sits at the bar, drinks a beer, talks to no one. Goes home feeling like he got out and socialized.

... steps on the squeaky floorboard at the back a few times, and leaves.

Overheard at the medical clinic yesterday.

NT: Knock, knock.
Aspie: Why are you saying that?
NT: It's the beginning of a joke, Roger. You're supposed to say, "who's there?"
Aspie: But I know who you are. You're my friend Simon and you gave me a lift down here.
NY: Yes, but I'm trying to tell a joke. It requires some back and forth from me and you.
Aspie: You need me to tell your joke back to you?
NT: No. I need you to just play along with me till I get to the punch line.
Aspie: So what do you want me to do?
NT: When I say "knock, knock" you ask "who's there?" Understand?
Aspie: Okay.
NT: Knock, knock.
Aspie: Who's there?
NT: Iona.
Aspie: Your name is Simon.
NT: I know, Roger. When I say "Iona" you're supposed to ask "Iona who?"
Aspie: I am? That doesn't make sense. I've known you since high school.
NT: It's part of the joke. Can't you just humor me?
Aspie: Humor you? Aren't you the one who's telling the joke?
NT: Oh, my goodness! You're giving me a stroke! Can't you just play along?
Aspie: Alright! Geez, for someone who's supposed to be telling a joke you don't seem all that funny.
NT: Okay. Can we start again? No interruptions?
Aspie: Sure.
NT: Knock, knock.
Aspie: Who's there?
NT: Iona.
Aspie: Iona who?
NT: I own a brand new car. You wanna ride?
Aspie: Your car's not new. It's a fifteen year old Chevy Malibu with a dent on the hood.
NT: Have a nice bus ride back home.

Have you read the new fairy tale? It's called Snow White & the Seven Aspie Dwarfs. Who are these magnificent seven?

1. Stimmy - Doesn't sit at the table with the others because he uncontrollably waves his hand a lot and sometimes inadvertently knocks the pot of soup onto the floor.
2. Creepy - Not the most popular dwarf, he makes Snow White nervous with his constant piercing stares, inappropriate language and frequent references to ogres no one sees but him.
3. Skepty - The skeptical one of the bunch, he doesn't believe anything anyone says. He walks with a limp because he didn't believe Stimmy when he was told a wild boar was right behind him.
4. Doc - Possessing a weak stomach, Doc was always the first one to faint at the sight of blood. "What kind of doc are you?" Snow White once asked. "I'm a theoretical physicist," he answered, "not a surgeon!"
5. Sad Sack - Generally depressed, Sad Sack sleeps most of the day. This makes the others angry because he doesn't complete his chores and spends his waking hours asking himself, "why me?"
6. Smarty - This dwarf thinks he knows everything. He once tried to outsmart a wolf by telling it that it suffered from persecutory delusion. The twenty stitches Smarty received on his behind took months to heal.
7. Windy - So called because his answers to simple questions often turn into lengthy, long-winded explanations that sometimes fail to address the original question.

O-ho, your jokes are side splitters, especially Red Robin's!

Here are mine:

Q: In what did the geneticist with ASD engage?

A: "Stim" cell research! Laughing


Q: Why do I believe the Backstreet Boys are mildly autistic?

A: Because every BB concert after 1998 featured the song "Backstreet's Back," which includes the lyric, "Everybody, yeah, rock your body, yeah!" in the refrain. Rolling Eyes

I was hoping someone would bring this thread back.

Aspie Bar's sign : "We Rock"