If an aspie is rude UNINTENTIONALLY should s/he be chastised

Page 3 of 4 [ 54 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

04 Feb 2013, 9:33 pm

People can tell me that what I said was rude and why, but I still wont' feel that it is truly rude, because otherwise, I would not have said it and been unintentionally rude, so I am likely to make the same social mistakes over and over and over.

Nonperson
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Jun 2012
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,258

04 Feb 2013, 9:42 pm

No. Do as you would for a child too young to know the difference, or someone from another culture: explain that it could be interpreted as rude and give them a chance to correct themselves.

Of course, with my own kids I know what they know and what they don't/are liable to forget. Namecalling gets punished, interruptions/lack of tact just get a reminder. Same for me: if I'm intentionally cruel you have every right to be mad at me, but if there's any chance I'm just forgetting/not aware please explain the situation and give me the benefit of the doubt.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,798
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 Feb 2013, 9:53 pm

tall-p wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

a lot of the reason for my hermithood is that i've been castigated repeatedly for things i didn't mean to cause offense.

I was born in '42 to an Army Air Corp officer. He was convinced all I needed was more discipline.

ever read the book/see the movie "the great santini"?

tall-p
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155

04 Feb 2013, 9:55 pm

auntblabby wrote:

ever read the book/see the movie "the great santini"?

Exactly!! That was my dad. :)

_________________
Everything is falling.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,798
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 Feb 2013, 9:59 pm

^^^
so he was "a warrior without a war"?

tall-p
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155

04 Feb 2013, 10:06 pm

auntblabby wrote:

^^^
so he was "a warrior without a war"?

Yes he was. Eventually I was sent to a military college... and after six weeks, I slipped out before sunrise, and hitchhiked across the country. (1960)

_________________
Everything is falling.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,798
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 Feb 2013, 10:18 pm

tall-p wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

^^^
so he was "a warrior without a war"?

Yes he was. Eventually I was sent to a military college... and after six weeks, I slipped out before sunrise, and hitchhiked across the country. (1960)

your story about escaping from military school [and the cross-country hitchiking adventure] sounds like it would make a very good book :thumleft:

tall-p
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155

04 Feb 2013, 10:32 pm

Thanks... but like some Aspies, when I start telling a story, people's eyes slowly glaze over, and they fall out of their chairs. But I have had an adventure full life... in '92, when my kids were safely off to college, I decided to travel in the Caribbean for a few months. The first town I visited I found this little one room 12'x12' cottage, that was 50 steps from the sea for $300 a month. I lived there for 15 years.

_________________
Everything is falling.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,798
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 Feb 2013, 10:35 pm

tall-p wrote:

you have kids? in college?

you're very well-functioning! :thumleft:

i can't even handle having pets. :oops:

the carribean adventure sounds heavenly.

tall-p
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155

04 Feb 2013, 10:43 pm

auntblabby wrote:

you have kids? in college?

you're very well-functioning! :thumleft:

i can't even handle having pets. :oops:

the carribean adventure sounds heavenly.

I was lucky... and had good timing, and I was a good reader. Back then, when I left military school, the beats were popular, and I had read On the Road. And through most of the 60's, if you were under 30, you could walk out to the street, any street, put out your thumb, and someone would pick you up in a minute or two.

_________________
Everything is falling.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,798
Location: the island of defective toy santas

04 Feb 2013, 11:38 pm

do you have any pics of yourself back in that situation? just curious. you had the good fortune to live in a better time.

tall-p
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155

05 Feb 2013, 12:55 am

auntblabby wrote:

do you have any pics of yourself back in that situation? just curious. you had the good fortune to live in a better time.

Very few... nothing scanned...

_________________
Everything is falling.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,798
Location: the island of defective toy santas

05 Feb 2013, 1:50 am

i have very few pics of me also.

epitome81
Blue Jay

Joined: 29 Jan 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 97
Location: Arnold, MD

05 Feb 2013, 2:04 am

Aren't most people rude unintentionally? Like they just didn't know better? Especially children?

I think they should be taught about why something was found to be rude and asked to respect others.

_________________
Am I really a Schizoid? I'm questioning if that's all there is...
AQ: 26 EQ: 42 SQ: 51 M/E: 21
Aspie Score= 82 out of 200
NT Score= 126 out of 200

MindBlind
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 May 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,341

05 Feb 2013, 12:53 pm

If it;s unintentional, you merely have to explain why it is rude or offensive and why they shouldn't say it/do it. You only punish those who you know for certain meant exactly what they did. This applies to everyone, not just aspies.

Nittrus
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 22 Jan 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 68

05 Feb 2013, 7:10 pm

Punishment is proven not to work due to the fact it can lead to a melt down straight away not to mention the lack of understanding of why they are being punished. People get mad at me and I don't understand why and unless they tell me I am left guessing which causes me a great amount of stress.

It is highly unwise to punish someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Page 3 of 4 [ 54 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Jump to:

If an aspie is rude UNINTENTIONALLY should s/he be chastised Post Reply New Topic

If an aspie is rude UNINTENTIONALLY should s/he be chastised