How Often Do You Think About Suicide?

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I keep thinking of committing suicide. Either that or deleting my Facebook account, because I am getting fed up with seeing pictures of my peers out clubbing with all their little friends, all beautifully dressed and having a wonderful time (even if they don't drink). There's a few people I knew from school who were always incredibly shy at school, some were even ''odd'' enough to be possible Aspies, but even they seem to have found themselves a pile of mates of their age to go out clubbing with and make the most of their young lives. Me? I might aswell be 80 like my grandmother. I've met a group of friends of my age at college, but I could tell in the end they weren't for me or I weren't for them (whichever way round), and now I just find myself latching on to older people. That's ironic really, because I am socially immature, yet I get on better with older people and they get along with me too .

I feel horrible because I haven't added some of my cousins on Facebook because (I admit) I am prone to getting extremely jealous of other people, and if I see that they are kissed by boys (or girls) or have a boy/girlfriend or are out clubbing when you didn't think they did that, I get myself all upset and I then feel isolated and angry with myself for being so shy and unable to make friends as good as all my NT cousins. I just keep worrying that I'm not socially functioning as well as my peers, and what all this will mean later on in life when my parents get old and ill and so on. It is a very miserable thought, and makes my future look very bleak. And I've even tried joining clubs before, mixing with other people that may have the same interests or the same social issues as me, but even then I didn't really make any friends there. I was just too shy. Being a person like me makes life worthless, and makes me worthless as a person.

So I may commit suicide....when I get so upset with everything that I just suddenly have the guts to actually do it.

Well I would delete them but some are people that live local or I work with, and I don't like to just delete them off of Facebook because it then might make me look jealous. People seem to take it to heart when people delete them off of their Facebook.

But then people give me the attitude ''if they haven't included you in their social activities then they're not friends anyway'', but that is not always the case. It's more so my fault, for being a very jealous person. I seem to have the ''why do I have to suffer with AS and nobody around me does?!'' attitude, which is wrong I know, but I'm unsure of how to break it. I think it's because I've got high self-awareness so I can feel more socially isolated when I look at others around me. Also I want to be a social butterfly but at the same time I know I can't because I am too shy and unconfident, and if I just try to be something I'm not I'm too afraid of a social faux pas. It's just a vicious circle, and nobody can really help except me, but I don't know how to. It just seems to be the way I am. I've been jealous of other people being NTs since I was about 12, and I just haven't snapped out of it.

I think it just comes from hating AS so much. I feel by having AS I have let my mum and myself down. My mum constantly worries about me and I have a feeling that all this worry and stress from over the years will cause her to have a heart attack. I find I express my thoughts and feelings a little too much to her, and I should give her some peace. I am referring myself to counselling, for the third time.
I just get so bitter at other people who don't have to worry too much about their social skills. And then I turn into a nasty, jealous, angry freak. It's a bit like a parent having one or more child being killed, then feeling bitter at other parents for still having their children. It's the same sort of thing.

@joe90

well I ended up deleting my facebook for the exact same reasons and I never look back. You can always create a new facebook and start over but your sanity is the most important thing facebook. We weren't born to Facebook and we don't need to die with a facebook; heck Facebook will probably die before us.

I have thought about suicide a lot in school and at my housekeeping job, but I stopped after I got fired from there. Just recently they came back again. I am too chicken to ever do it.

I don't blame myself for wanting to end my life, I am scared of babies and small children (I'm pedophobic) and I constantly say inappropriate things, even when I try not to. I can never make or keep friends and as much as I love my job it only pays minimum wage. I hope a miracle will come through and my Stewart Mango cartoon will make me rich, but like the 2 books I wrote it most likely won't. What keeps me living and not ending my life is my family, otherwise without them I'd have finished myself off in middle school.

No matter how many people hate you, there's always someone who loves you.

I think often of suicide. It's not so much the wanting to off myself, but just to go into a coma or a deep sleep, for a very long time. When I was younger, I made a few attempts. I'm so glad I never succeeded, and I think the main reason I never did was because I'm too curious about the future. If I kill myself, that's it, I can never do anything again, and it would be devastating to my family.
Now that I have kids, I can never abandon them, or my husband. That doesn't mean I don't think about dying anymore, though. Sometimes when I'm really bad if I'm driving I'll just wish someone would hit me, because it's ok if someone else kills me (except it isn't, that would ruin their life and still devastate my family...)
I had what seemed to be a near death experience once (that wasn't an attempt). It was a wonderful feeling, a feeling of peace. I really wish I could just go to that spot again when things get bad so I can recuperate.

I think about it probably every day almost. I don't want to die and fear death quite a bit but that doesn't seem to stop those thoughts from invading your brain from time to time.

When I was younger I thought about it. Sometimes more frequently than others.

Now I am very glad I never did.

My answer today would be a resounding NEVER, but that wasn't an option.

It would seem like perhaps the poll results paint a potentially inaccurate picture because of the lack of a "never" response. Perhaps either people tend to think about it a lot, or not at all. I wouldn't be surprised if "or not at all" was more prominent than "daily."

I haven't made plans to do it, but I think about it a lot. I did attempt it once when I was younger, because I just got tired of trying anymore. Stupid and cliche, I know. But I just felt like I'd never overcome my social anxiety. And here I am, ten years later, and I haven't overcome it. :/ Sometimes it crosses my mind because I feel like I'm so different from everyone else that they just don't want, nor need, me around.
I haven't done it, yet, though. And I probably never will.
But I also will probably never get over my social anxiety. I just can't stand being around people. I feel fear like no other. My therapist has told me to find like-minded people, but even around people with similar interests, I still feel out of place and like a deer caught in the headlights.

It's rather amazing how many of us have attempted suicide and never got help. I think many parents secretly know they are responsible when their kids commit suicide or attempt but they are more concerned about the perceptions of others and preserving their own survival than their kids. Useless people.