Is it wrong to be verbose? Chased off another forum board...

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I have tried this. If I bring other points up in the thread I am still making too many posts or challenging them. It seems they want to talk but I am not supposed to reply once I have started my OP.

If I see a long post, I start reading it. If it does not hold my interest I simply move on. I do not stop to comment with remarks such as 'tl:dr' or point out that their post was a boring diatribe. I feel no need to comment if I am not interested in the posts' content and instead find something I am interested in and do wish to reply to.

I do not understand why doing that is so hard for some people.

We should encourage the reading of longer posts...it would discourage the growing problem with reading comprehension and illiteracy. The English language is being bastardised by culture, text speak and laziness on the part of the reader.

But this is not an academic environment. It is a conversation. One might argue that to be a truly accomplished writer, you need to be able to write in a manner that engages your audience. To adjust your style.

Academic institutions do not have problems with your writing style in an academic context. Whatever your professors have told you about your writing applies to your writing in an academic context, not your communication style with the general public.

When you remember this is a conversation, not a report or paper, it helps you remember that it is your communication skills, not your writing skills, that matter.

If you don't care if you effectively communicate your point, by all means, write in as academic style as you please. But if you fail to communicate in a way that reaches your reader, you have to take partial responsibility for that. You made a choice to communicate in a manner that was not suitable to your audience.

My intentions here are not harsh. But I would assume that since you are troubled enough by this to start a thread, that perhaps you want to fix the problem. Viewing your contributions to a forum as communication and not simply "writing" may help that. Unless you just wanted people to tell you how beautifully you write and how wrong everyone else is, then I can't help you there.

No but writing can be an art form.

I may study science but I also love art and in fact my main form of creativity (many years ago) was writing poetry. I was published.

I am loathe to write in this day and age though as I would have to construct a piece of writing as follows...

(Made up off the top of my head for illustrative purposes. This is not a serious piece of writing!):

'How U doin'?"
She said to me
I said "I'm fine
What will it be?"

"A large diet cola
And burger and fries
Skip the coleslaw
That I despise"

So off I went
2 go 2 the bar
and order the stuff
to take to her car

I really liked her
She was hot as hell
But did she like me?
I still couldn't tell...

I was bloody horny
I wanted a f**k
so I tried not to play
With my enlarging cock....

'Here ya go love'
I gave her her food
"How about it?
You in the mood?"

The engine revved
As she gave me a sneer
And off she drove
Towards the west pier

"Oh well' I said
I ain't getting laid
But on the bright side
For my job I get paid"

B*****ks, F**k,
S**t and B*m
I'll go home 2 night
and have my own fun..

Oh wait...

'How U doin'?"
She said to me
I said "I'm fine
What will it be?"...

Cowabunga.....f****n' awesome.....

-----

The joy of modern day literature!

Last edited by bumble on 17 Feb 2013, 5:45 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I agree about the problem of bastardisation of the English language. I also think it is rude if someone puts in remarks such as tl;dr. If someone feels a post is too long to read they should skip on to the next post without comment. However, there are such a vast number of posts, threads, internet forums and websites that people can only read a tiny fraction of the available content. It is unlike the days before the internet where people would sit down and read a newspaper or magazine cover to cover. People have to be highly selective what they read and unfortunately this means posts need to grab and hold the attention of people if they are to be read in full. Many (most) long posts fail to do this. Personally when faced with a long post I tend to read the first few sentences then skip and dip reading a few more sentences here and there - if the content grabs my interest sufficiently I may then read the entire post.

These seem to be bizarro overreactions to long posts.

Sometimes they are required.

Other times not so much.

I mean if you just want to make a glib comment about something then no.

Ie Bloody awful state of affairs that ain't it?

On the other hand, if you are discussing a particular subject or theory that involves a number of factors or relationships then it is difficult not to be verbose. Unless you only want to point out that:

"Freuds theories are bollox, ya know what I mean?"

Of course that tells the reader nothing remotely educational such as why the poster considers Freudes theories to be bollox and what exactly Freuds theories are.

I assume we are supposed to guess?

PN sorry for any typos or punctuation errors etc, I have had a couple of drinkies....(of the alcoholic variety).

Makes me ramble more...not to mention nonsensically...

It is very hard to condense my thoughts when I feel I am being attacked by a group of people. And these individuals were attacking me. They crowded in on me, ignored the OP and started making a big issue out of my verbosity because I had stopped to tack on a second posting including some details that might be relevant about my social issues. If I don't explain my social issues they think that I have trouble socialising because of a fear of embarrassment when that is rarely the case.

I tend to ramble at the best of times. I am also naturally prone to tangents (ie an online friend recently called me lil_ms_tangent because I kept digressing lol although from him the comment was kind of cute and not really offensive....).

This is just my way and always has been.

The irony is, is that when I go to therapy about my social issues they tell me to relax and be myself and it will come naturally.

What do you think happens when I relax and let myself be natural?

Yup, VERBOSITY!

It seems I can't win. Either I need to be on edge all the time in order to remember the things I am supposed to do and the things I am not supposed to do socially or I end up being a social outcast constantly attacked by groups of people against which I struggle to defend myself. It is not really fair when you have 6 or so people against one and it is very stressful and intimidating. Could they not just pull me aside and mention gently that my posting style is annoying to them and stops them from understanding what I am trying to say (not that they understand if I condense it either...it seems to make no difference how I word things, not when it comes to that group of individuals anyway. They are obsessed attaching intentions and meanings to my words that are just not there).

What irks me most is not their annoyance with my verbosity but the need to attack me and their insistence that I need to be medicated and have therapy because I have a quirk that irritates them.

RUDE!

There are far worse things I could do than be verbose or post multiple replies....

I could be committing crime
I could be hurting someone
I could be doing any number of other things that result in harm coming to myself or others.

But no, I am apparently insane because I talk too much and am verbose?

I have done the same here tonight in regards to multiple postings. I appreciate it may be annoying to people but how else am I supposed to respond to individual posts that have been made whilst I was offline?

Do people want me to write all of my replies to all the posts I wish to quote in one long piece of text or would you rather I replied to individually or not at all?

After years of people complaining because I do not reply to them when they speak to me, I now feel a need to reply to people in case they get upset about my not answering them. I don't want to get told off for doing the wrong thing so I reply in case I am supposed to...

But that is wrong as well...

I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.

If I don't reply I am rude, if I do reply I post or talk too much.

What do people want exactly?

Perhaps you should stop posting there. It sounds like it is more trouble than it is worth. You could also make yourself a rule that 3 clarifications is all you will give. If people continue to push (and not in a supportive way), you just stop reading and responding to the thread. It sounds as though you are not willing to modify your own style, so your other option--as I see it--is to avoid people who push your buttons.

I like your suggestion about a 3 post rule. I guess if after 3 clarifications they are either not going to understand, are not willing to undestand or have not read them in the first place (in which case I suppose I could just write a short response asking them to refer back to post number x, y or z...or is that too patronising?) they are not willing to listen.

As to my style it depends...

1 I can sometimes forget when I get excited or caught up in what I am doing and tend to ramble on without realising it. It is not until I scroll back that I realise how many replies I have made.

2 If it is a subject matter that does not require detail...I will just make a short reply instead.

3 If detail is required to further understanding I will tend to post it.

I don't know I am becoming afraid to be myself around people. If I do try to make changes the minute I am having fun or forget myself and relax I only back slide back to my natural tendencies anyway. It is as though my brain will not be changed in that way. In other ways I learn very quickly though (ie academically).

It seems I also have a personality that comes across as arrogant even though I don't mean to be. Ie I can mention my academic ability and my advanced development as a child (I consider this to be relevant to my ongoing social issues as although I was the same age as my peers I was at a different stage of development to them and did not think like them or fit in as a result) without people thinking I am bragging when I am merely passing along information.

I never meant for my ability to intimidate people...I wanted to help them with it. It hurts that they think I am some kind of self absorbed emotionless monster who does not care just because I communicate differently and have quirks.

I even tried posting video replies instead...and that failed. People think I am angry when I am not, they think I am suicidal or depressed when I am not, they don't realise when I am joking and so on.

No matter how I try I am misinterpreted by them.

I agree I probably need to stay away from that board (and any others where that occurs) as it does not seem to be healthy for me. But then it follows me around wherever I go so do I become a recluse and stay away from everywhere?

Depends where you are. In my experience, people in roleplaying forums actually appreciate verbosity - it helps to flesh out environments, characters, and situations.

I have been consistently given feedback through much of my life--both as a child and an adult--that I come off as cold and snobbish. Generally, this has been given to me in the form of "When I first met you, I thought..." by people who, at the point of the feedback, I had become friends with.

I had a variety of responses to this through the years, but eventually I decided that since the feedback was so consistent, I must be doing something to cause it. First, my face is not naturally soft and gentle looking. I have prominent features and I think my resting face tends to look toward the angry side. Second, my body is stiff. I sit up very straight at all times. My walk is loud and purposeful. My arms are awkward. Third, my default speech is rather formal and when I am nervous (which is almost always when I am around people I don't know) I think I tend to come off as very intellectual and I think it seems condescending to people who don't know me.

I have learned to modify all of this. Every last piece of it. I have learned to look spontaneous and relaxed. It is still not natural for me to be this way around people I do not know well. But I can do it.

I don't always choose to, though.

I consider the setting and what the consequence is if I do not make a good first impression. If the consequence is low, I usually just revert to my normal self (which is the one that appears cold and snobbish) because the other one just takes too much effort. But if it matters to me for some reason what the other people will think, I put my other self on. I do not consider this disingenuous. I consider it to be forward thinking. If I will need or want the people to see me in a favorable light at some point in the future (either personally or professionally), I know I need to make adjustments so that the "real me"--who is not cold and snobbish-- is not covered up by my stiff and overly formal non- and para-verbals.

I guess what I am saying is that you don't have to become a hermit. Just learn how to communicate in more than one way and then use the way that works for the situation. You may never feel comfortable typing "How ya doin'?" but maybe you can make your tone a little less formal by saying "Hey, there!"

I make it my objective to explain things as well as I can, it's a passion of mine as well, I love words. But I implicitly try to dissuade anyone of any early judgments that I am acting pretentiously. I try to use humor, which shows humility well, along with a cheeky attitude every now and then to trip people off their battle stances. I don't give off an assuming vibe, I'll try to be friendly and nonthreatening. I don't use any truly unconventional words. If I can make use of simpler words I do so. Also, the last thing you should try to focus on is yourself in a post. I always use the pronoun "us" as much as I possibly can, people feel so much closer to you when you use that, I use it whenever I can.

I haven't completely read through this thread, but another suggestion, especially in the context of a forum, would be to focus on responding to others, rather than creating a differing monologue of lone opinions, build them off someone else's.

Also, I don't mean to offend or anything, just one anonymous forum poster to another, but your avatar gives off a condescending vibe to me. Maybe you see it as inquisitive, but the skeptical look can seem quite cold to some people. Regardless though, here such a thing won't have much negative influence on your activity.

I have tried posting about non personal subjects...they still attack me quoting posts from old threads that they copy and pasted even though they are not related to the content of the new thread at all.

Don't go back. You wouldn't put up with that IRL relationships (I hope), so there is absolutely no point in putting up with it online. If there are some people on the forum you would like to keep in touch with, contact them off-line and let them know. Give them your email. Then leave. That anyone would even have time to search your old posts for something to cut and paste into new ones is flabbergasting to me. I mean, really...who does that?

I tried a more NT style video approach...Which I may well be, just a very verbose one (no idea what I am I gave up on labels)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... iYB8v30Nk#!

Although I have left the forum now, this is more for my blog.

Yeah sorry about being a 37 year old with a cuddly toy...

Are you posting about your social problems on that forum? If so, that might be the problem.

If you say that you have social problems to NTs, then they will make NT-style suggestions to help you with your social problems that are assumed to be NT-style, but if you are autistic, then those suggestions are unlikely to help you, and you will say that and point out the many problems with the suggestions and adding moar moar moar details of your social problems in long posts, and other people may think that you are not really interested in taking suggestions and getting help for your problems, but are instead self-absorbed and attention-seeking.