Cheating is a trait/symptom of AS?

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goldfish21
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04 Mar 2013, 5:12 pm

DrHouseHasAspergers wrote:

Your psychologist is wrong. Cheating on one's spouse is not an AS trait. It's a dick trait.

This.

Sure, anyone has the capacity to cheat or be sexually impulsive regardless of their neurological makeup being NT or AS or something else - but cheating is not a recognized AS trait.

I don't know for certain as I don't have info & stats to back my statement, but I'd think cheating would be fairly low amongst Aspies due to our general sense of loyalty, following rules & structure, as well as many of us being honest-to-a-fault.

Doesn't mean AS people don't cheat, heck they could cheat more than average for all I know.. BUT of the books I've read, info I've read online, and personal friends/family/myself.. I've never seen cheating as an Aspie trait, especially not as a recognized documented one - which is most important.

Your psychologist should be looking up AS and educating themselves on what traits ARE documented vs. looking at you through their paradigm of AS = cheaters & thus you can't possibly have AS. That's ridiculous.

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04 Mar 2013, 5:19 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

How can an Aspie persuade 20 people to do anything with them?

goldfish21
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04 Mar 2013, 6:07 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

Do you mean at a time? Then I could see that as a challenge... :p

Or do you just mean in general as a total number of sexual partners? If that, well I suppose I must have already answered that question for myself loooong ago.

Here's how: Two mutually attracted amorous adults consent to sleeping with one another, and then do so. Rinse & repeat 20+ times in your life. It really is that simple.

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04 Mar 2013, 9:03 pm

It doesn't matter if you're AS or NT. We're all capable of cheating because we're all human. It's completely natural to find others attractive even if you're already in a relationship. However, whether or not that attraction is acted on comes down to the individual.

All I know is, I've been one "official" romantic relationship with a NT, and I was the one who got cheated on, and taken advantage of. When my ex informed me that she was unfaithful, I dumped her on the spot and walked away. I just can't deal with that level of dishonesty.

But I'm not going to run around and claim that all NT females cheat, because that's obviously not true.

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JellyCat
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05 Mar 2013, 6:48 am

mikassyna- I wouldn't say that here unless you want to start another 'which gender has to easier' debate.

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05 Mar 2013, 8:24 am

Triple__B wrote:

So I have been recently seeing a psychologist because for a while now, something is not right and my wife wanted me to talk with someone. I won't list all my Asperger's traits now, but after the first time I read about AS, EVERYTHING seemed to make sense. The more I read, the more I was relating to AS. My first visit to the therapist she wanted me to research Social Phobia and see if I thought that might be affecting me, so I did. The symptoms made sense, only I have virtually no anxiousness or fear in social situations and don't mind public speaking, eating in public, ect. My problem with social situations is that I can't relate to people and have no idea what to do in a conversation. I told her this on the second visit and she agreed then that's probably not it and we talked more about what it might be. By the end of the session I had told her that I thought it could be Asperger's and she said she didn't think so at this point. She said all her Asperger patients cheated on their spouse and didn't know it was wrong, so he just kept on cheating like 20 times. And because I didn't cheat on my wife 20 times and knew that that would be wrong, that she doesn't feel that I have it. I explained to her my problems with relating, sensory sensitivities to light/abrupt noises, robot movements as a kid, empathy and sarcasm problems, and the overall feelings of not fitting in my entire life.

Now she wants me to look into AvPD or extreme introversion with a high IQ and see if that fits. (AvPD fits but again I don't get anxious per se and I do feel like an introvert but my online IQ scores are normal at 100-110)

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?

Here is some helpful information about infidelity in marriages with at least one partner with AS:

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=qBjt ... ty&f=false

If you read from P118 (Inappropriate Relationships and Flirting"). The author Sarah Hendrickx, is the AS expert who did my Asperger's assessment before I got a full clinical assessment and diagnosis. She has Asperger's herself so she knows what she's talking about.

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Mirror21
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06 Mar 2013, 4:40 pm

DrHouseHasAspergers wrote:

Your psychologist is wrong. Cheating on one's spouse is not an AS trait. It's a dick trait.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

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07 Mar 2013, 2:41 am

Triple__B wrote:

SShe said all her Asperger patients cheated on their spouse and didn't know it was wrong, so he just kept on cheating like 20 times.

I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?

Hey, if you have issues in relationshits at least you didn't do that :lol:

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07 Mar 2013, 2:43 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

Someone hits you or something in a social event, you 'take' that offer & use it to "jump up" to other people they know (friends & etc = mutual acquaintance makes things more 'familiar') and so on and so forth. There is also the....social proof of being with one person, so that magnifies the effect.

EDIT: Also your brain might enter 'auto-pilot' subcounciously & you do things without thinking about it. Like using the force xD

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littlelily613
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08 Mar 2013, 12:47 am

I don't think cheating is a trait of ASD at all, particularly since many people on the spectrum rarely lie if at all. I've never had a relationship but I KNOW if I did have one I would NEVER cheat on them, and would be furious is someone ever cheated on me.

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Apple_in_my_Eye
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11 Mar 2013, 11:00 pm

The therapist has probably read books/articles by Maxine Aston. Aston has created a mini-industry for herself by 'specializing' in relationships where the male person has ASD. Her premise seems to be that basically all relationship problems are due to male ASD. :roll: So, I wouldn't take that claim seriously.

matt
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11 Mar 2013, 11:18 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

Talking to them all for a few hours as a group seems to work.

Who_Am_I
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12 Mar 2013, 2:54 am

Warsie wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

Ah, right. You have to go to social events.

And you have to be able to do social stuff subconsciously.

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Jaden
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12 Mar 2013, 5:33 am

Cheating is no more an AS trait than being a psychopath is. Honestly in my experience it's more likely that we value relationships more than others because we (most of us, though I can't speak for everyone) have problems with getting into relationships to begin with, so we tend to work to keep the ones we have.

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12 Mar 2013, 5:33 am

Fnord wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I want to know is: how does someone with AS persuade 20 people to sleep with them?

How can an Aspie persuade 20 people to do anything with them?

I would like to read that thread

Callista
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12 Mar 2013, 6:26 am

Yeah, right, could you imagine having to get to know that many people, let them into your personal life enough to have sex with them? I bet most of us would just burn out and sit in a heap on the floor long before we got to twenty.

Cheating with one person? Okay. I could see that for an Aspie, like for anyone else. But repeatedly? Uh-uh.

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