Is it only me that feels Aspeger is a curse

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You either have Autism or you dont.

Yeah, autism is autism; and anyway, Asperger's isn't always mild. Still, some cases are more extreme than others, and many Aspies can indeed be said to have "only" mild autism. So you can see the NT perspective well enough to imagine what that might be like, and see the perspective of someone who is more severely autistic... you're caught in between worlds. It can be uncomfortable, because of how our culture wants to put everybody into these nice neat little categories. People who haven't thought much about it often think of disability as something obvious and extreme, not something more subtle, possibly invisible like AS often is. So you don't quite fit into the "disabled" stereotype; on the other hand, you know your impairments are real, and that you are indeed disabled--you're perched on the fuzzy gray border, you don't fit neatly into categories, and you can't push yourself into either one or the other without denying who you are. It ought to be made more clear that it is okay to be in the middle--that you don't have to push yourself into a social role that doesn't fit you; that invisible disabilities can be real without being obvious, and without pushing you into the "disabled" stereotype (which nobody really fits anyway).

I think the 'disabled' stereotype is one we all would like to avoid in order to better integrate in society. There are two things here. One is the diagnosis and the other is the ability to cope with NT life. Regardless of what labels we get to carry around with us (a few on this forum want to wear their labels like a badge of honor for the world to see) the ability to cope with NT life is really a seperate issue. For instance many with Aspergers will live entirely normal lives except perhaps for a few issues that come up over sensitivity to crowds or ability to process metaphors etc. It's precisely where problems arises that the diagnosis label comes in useful to provide a reason to others why something unusual in their behavior just happened. Hence probably why the poster referred to being half-autistic.

True.

But there's quite a difference between the high functioning aspergers case and the full-blown completely disabling autistic case. That's what I was referring to.

I also think it's a curse because of all the moments of feeling rejected. It becomes very hurtful, then people wonder why I have such low self-esteem. I am unsure of how to improve my self-esteem, unless I have lots of expensive therapy, even then will that really help? What can a therapist do? Depression and isolation is something a person can only help themselves with, but when you're unsure of where to start on this, it can be very difficult and ongoing. The social rules are just too complex, especially the making friends part. I try to smile, make small talk, be bubbly, be nice, etc, and I still get rejected. People just accuse me of following them, which is not what I am doing at all. And I know I can read body language of other people (thank God I can, at least then people don't have to verbally tell me that they don't want me), but I think I fail to control my own body language. Well, I can to an extent where I'm not too freakish, like I know I'm not doing anything odd, but things like where I am trying to be friendly I think I am unaware that I am just being too smothering rather than just friendly.

But then I see other people smothering each other and they don't get rejected. People say ''you must give people some space'', but I've known friends who stick together nearly every waking minute of the day. How come they don't tell each other to give each other space? I've only got to be with someone ten minutes and already I'm ''not giving them any space''.

It's like, most NTs seem to be able to ''meet half way'', meaning one isn't smothering the other, they just do 50 percent of effort each and become mates. Me, I probably make about 80 percent of effort while the other person makes 20 percent, then I get non-verbal impressions from the other person that I am being annoying.

I've always seem my Aspeger as curse, no matter how much try to fit in with what i do i always feel like the odd one out, this been the case i very rarely go to places where there are large gatherings due to my social awkwardness.

I do not view my Asperger's as a curse. I do not view it as a gift either. It is merely a difference.

Comorbids, such as depression and executive dysfunction are often much more of a problem than Autism itself.

I also think that to view it as a curse based on having been rejected is stupid and illogical. People on the spectrum may be socially anxious, or lack the ability to understand social cues, but my question is this:

Are these things in any way harmful to Neurotypicals?

The answer: No. Not at all.

My next question:

Is social rejection harmful to Autistic people?

Answer: Yes, it can be.

So, it simply cannot be denied that there are significant tolerance and acceptance issues here, and the Neurotypicals (notice: "the" as in not all) who reject Autistics are at fault.

Of course, Autistics should try to learn social skills to make Neurotypicals more comfortable, but they need to meet us half way, and generally, that certainly is not happening at the present time.

Yes but developmental changes mean you can 'progress' along the spectrum or in some cases 'regress'. Temple Grandin was defined by her doctor as ret*d when she was 5 yrs old and today is an associate professor in animal biology and does the public speaking circuit. In other cases children who were entirely NT regress developing new stims/sensory issues later in life and turning mute when hormones kick in. Throw in drugs and behavioral therapy etc into the mix and the extreme ends of the spectrum are not quite as far away from each other as we would like to imagine.

Having said that we tend to take snapshots of people in the present to profile them, so from that perspective, yes you can have orders of magnitude difference. I knew a girl in school who had epilepsy. In primary school nobody talked to her as she was called an epileptic and crazy. Her parents put her on anti-seizure medication and by the time she reached her late teenage years she became the head girl of our school and valedictorian. Without the drugs she would have been socially ostracised and wouldn't have coped with mainstream schooling. Nobody remembered that she was called a ret*d in primary school by the very same people who were now her best friends.