I find I'm successful at the jobs I've had recently because 1) I have a better sense of what environments work best for me and 2) I know what environments to avoid. The jobs I have not been so great at are listed below.
My first job was when I was 19, and I was working in a hiring office. Back then I was very depressed and had zero social skills, and it showed - it was noted that I didn't really go out of my way to be friendly or make small talk with anyone...it was because I wanted to be professional and was there to do my job. I was also reprimanded for wearing too little clothing one day - it was a boiling hot day and I couldn't take it anymore...I ended up having a meltdown but my boss was understanding.
I also worked at a big chain coffee shop. The work was repetitive and very fun for me, but I had to multitask a lot. I cannot do a task if a person is talking to me - I can only do one or the other, period! The people I worked with were the most negative and crankiest people I have ever met. Whenever I did something wrong, they yelled at me and talked to me in a really negative tone and it triggered flashbacks from when teachers and other adults used to do this to me as a kid. One supervisor clearly had mental health issues and treated everyone like crap, but she treated me the most like crap. She said that I wouldn't listen to her, but as I said, she would always talk to me while I was doing something else and it is so hard for me to process both types of information and she just wouldn't understand that at all. She had a meltdown when I was 1 minute late and hit me when I put the bread in the toaster the wrong way. One day I couldn't take her ballistic screaming anymore and walked out. The boss, who was nice, held a meeting for the both of us and the supervisor was crying the whole time. She was not scheduled on my shift anymore, but on one day I had to come in because she was doing a health and safety meeting - at that point I was actually afraid of her, so at that point, I quit.
Another job was working as a support worker at a day program for people with intellectual disabilities. I didn't like the other staff who worked there and thought they were really bossy and superficial...I hated eating with them at lunch because they'd talk about uninteresting things. I preferred spending time with the clients and would often hang out with them during breaks...and I was criticized for it! They said that I should treat them less as friends and more as an authority figure...which I think is crap because they know they are being treated like that and I see them as people rather than "the disabled". There was such a hierarchy there and it make me frustrated. There was also one day when I had a meltdown because I was sick of being "on" all the time and doing only hands on things. I didn't disclose anything until then because I wanted to be seen as capable, but then the managers decided to hold a meeting where I had to explain to everyone what was wrong with me and it was humiliating. The job ended when we were transferring to a new building and the staff decided that the change would be too much for me. The woman in charge gave me a reference, but said that this kind of work was not cut out for me.
The worst job I ever had was working at a camp for kids with ASD/ADHD/ODD/LDs. I thought it would be fun, but what happened was that I became so triggered there because the kids reminded me so much of me when I was a kid. There was even one girl with AS who reminded me so much of me. No one was every patient with the kids or attempted to truly understand them, protocol was basically to yell at them and boss them around as much as possible. These kids were bright, creative and had so much potential and seeing other people do this was, I felt, not a good way to deal with these kids or their behaviors...if anything, I felt that it made them feel shameful and negative about who they were. I disclosed beforehand and the staff tried their best to accomodate me, but I was crying every single night because I was so triggered and I felt like I was going insane being there, like I was in a negative, nostalgic time warp. I was let go because they didn't think I was performing up to standards and thank goodness I was, because my mental state had just deteriorated by then. I don't recommend that camp to anyone.
Conclusions: I can't do practical, hands on activities where I have to work with people too long, and I can't work in huge groups or with kids.
11 Nov 2013, 3:01 pm
