I want to flee

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Hi Steelblu, good advice.
More questions for you Beneficii,
Were you stressed about the apartment before your landlord complained?
What I'm asking is if you want to change the way you live or are just reacting to this bad encounter?

It sucks that your space was invaded, this is a breach of contract but they will more than likely argue that you were in breach first due to the dish installation.

Your landlord sounds like a proper @rse.

Well, I felt obligated to, but I wonder if my inaction shows I was really OK with it, but I am also reacting to this encounter.

Only, what to throw out? I guess I have to go and look at the stuff till things start to stand out and aren't just shapes and colors anymore.

The issue with the dish installation is that the guys are obviously on the clock when fitting these things. The main issues are that the screws and cable clips puncture the painted finish. Over time the weather gets in, the result is that paint flakes off, or worst case, fixings into wood cladding allows rot to develop. The same scenario if the window frames are wooden too. These are easy to fix, if short term, so try not to worry too much.

It may be the case that the building owners/freeholders have disallowed dishes due to to the above and/or cosmetic reasons and your landlord may have had a warning if they are a lease holder. (<This part is all assumption.) This may be the reason that they seemed overly upset or they may just be an @rse as earlier described.

If you are looking at a whole room to tidy and it all seems a bit blurred then you are still taking in too much of the big picture. Focus on one side of the room, just one corner or even just one square meter. Another option is start at the top and work down to the floor, although this is a better strategy for cleaning rather than reorganising. Do you have shelving for you learning materials?

Well, are there things that you find yourself just moving from place to place, but never using? Or, maybe, things that people gave you, that you felt obligated to keep out of politeness, but don't really like? When I am de-cluttering, those are usually the first things to go. My rule of thumb is, though, that if something makes me happy to have around, I will be able to find a place to keep it. Don't get rid of things that are important and sentimental. Don't get rid of things that are very functional, that you use every week. Do get rid of things that USED to be functional, but that you've replaced with something that works better for you, if you want to, though.

It is a valid idea and anyone can do it (as opposed to complicated organizing projects) Actually it would still be a challenge because of attachments to the stuff. I think Flylady would help ,especially if you are the only person there messing things up. I could not get anywhere when I lived with the 4 Saboteurs (3 sons and husband).



If this is important to you, pack it up. you may need a storage unit for the things you want to keep and stuff like christmas ornaments, pictures, seasonal clothes, etc.

What do you do when you rent a room? I'm in that situation now and it's really hard, my room is brimming with stuff. I've been throwing things away slowly but realize that I just really want to keep some of it. I have a small storage closet but my hanging clothes have spilled out into the hall closet. There always seems to be something more I can do, though. Next I'll dismantle the shelving in the closet and put my hanging clothes in there and get a tall dresser for the things that were on the shelves. The cost of the dresser is and issue but it will happen somehow, if I focus on it. One foot in front of the other.

I know it won't be easy, but try to let this sort of thing bounce off of you. What someone says is not the same as what they can or will do. Look up the tenants rights for your area. Maybe there's an organization with a hotline to call to find out your rights. I think it would be good to straighten up the apartment a little to appease the landlord and get her attention off you. The worst that can happen with the screws thing is that they'll take part of your deposit .

Not necessarily. It could just mean scrubbing sinks and counter tops and sweeping the floor. You could ask.



Then to me you are on equal ground; I would ask your parents to find the contact information for your local renters' rights association. Or someone can look it up online, although it's difficult to find anything current, in my experience. Your landlord could conceivably be in trouble for just barging into your place, although what the consequence might be I'm not sure. And it would vary according to where the tenant lives.

If the thing about the dish network wasn't clear in the lease, or in a past memo, she can't very well expect you to have read her mind on the topic.

Maybe just hire a professional cleaning service. They might tidy a bit as they go. Unless there is stacks of stuff everywhere you may not need a professional organizer.

You might also take a trip to one of those organizing stores if there's one near you and you can afford it. They sell really nifty things that help to make organizing one's home easier.

Another way is to sort things into boxes marked keep, sell, give away, and/or like, love, and meh (don't care). Then you can start to get rid of things according to which box it is in.

I feel depressed and I've been slow at getting going, which brings me to another point: Money, which I'm starting to run low on. I'm going to have to use FMLA for work. I just realized I forgot to call to report the FMLA hours I used last week and may be too late. I feel kinda discouraged and uncertain about the future.

What if I lose my job? Where am I going to stay? Where is the money for bills going to come from? Will my parents just tolerate me living with them? Would that be the time to make a move to go to Japan?

I don't know what FMLA is.

Are there any advocacy groups where you live? Is there section 8 housing? Do you have UNICEF? I have heard some charities will help with emergency rent funds and such. Do you have anyone advocating for you so that you have those phone numbers on a list for emergencies?

But it sounds like, maybe, the landlord thing touched off some of the larger worries which were simmering underneath and then it cascaded over you and made you feel overwhelmed. Breaking things down into more bite size bits where possible could help. Starting with some small task could make you begin to feel relieved of the worries.

In my experience parents do take people in if they have nowhere else to go. Why are you worried about losing your job?

Moving to a new country while feeling overwhelmed might not be the best idea. You will have a lot to adjust to when you get there. Best to move while feeling upbeat and strong maybe. But is there a threat to your job?

If it were me I'd ask the landlord what they meant by 'clean up' and how long you have to do it.

FMLA is family medical leave. I have intermittent FMLA which I can use to take off work if I need to for doctor's appointments or I'm symptomatic that day; it's unpaid, though. You have to report it within 5 (calendar or business, I don't know) days, however, or it could count against your attendance. I may have a shot if it's business days. Then again, my supervisor hasn't been keeping up his end, so maybe the worry over attendance is nothing. I have an otherwise good attendance record. Still, I've not been able to save up money and it seems to get lower and lower as I have all these expenses. Maybe getting rid of Dish would be good.

Basically, I see myself as being in a self-preservation mode, as opposed to a self-actualization mode. Going to Japan might change that, but it might also add a whole bunch of stuff. I had a resurgence of mental illness starting last year, after going a decade with no problems, and things still feel kinda shaky.

What has helped you in the past when you have felt this way?

Time, I think. Thank you for your support.

You are very welcome. Sending you good vibes and good wishes.

Me too, I can empathize with this feeling of being overwhelmed with everything and just wanting to run away.

Hope it turns out okay. Nothing's like when your stomach hits the floor because you forgot something important.