Jealousy

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Are you talking about "jealousy"? Or are you talking about envy?

If you resent someone for being successful in some way, or for having something you want, then that's "envy".

If someone is muscling in on your girlfriend/wife then that's jealousy. Not quite the same thing.

Women tend to get married much earlier in life then do men. That's one thing that you have to keep in mind.

yeah i get jealous a lot.

but there ain't no method of measuring jealousy.

certainly extroverts and neurotypicals get jealous too.

and when i get jealous i get obsessed with it.

gratitude could help.

and not comparing yourself to others. at least, not as much.

do your best. and then be satisfied.

yeah easier said than done, i know.




jealous of:

cisgenders, neurotypicals, extroverts, precious lil "people" with more $$, higher metabolism, higher IQ scores, whites, athletic, straight, socially adept,

^^^^^I useta be jealous of most of those things, but as one grows old it gradually sinks in that if I was magically able to jump into the more privileged lives of those beautiful people, that i'd be trading one set of problems for another.

^^^^^I useta be jealous of most of those things, but as one grows old it gradually sinks in that if I was magically able to jump into the more privileged lives of those beautiful people, that i'd be trading one set of problems for another.
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yeah well i am 34 years old.

yes, it is correct, that the "beautiful people" you are jealous of, have their own problems, that are not visible. and you do not always know what their problems are.

but seriously though

some problems are worse than others.

like for instance. i wish i was skinny, smart, and attractive.

if i were skinny, maybe it would cost too much $$ for food, to maintain the minimum 110#.

if i was smart, maybe i would feel unfulfilled and find it hard(er) to interact with someone socially.

if i were attractive, then maybe someone would rape me.

but some problems are worse than others.

and i would rather be too skinny, smart and attractive. than too ugly fat and stupid



all things being equal

^^^be glad you are not my age.

okay. after i turned 12, i rapidly became more emotionally fragile, clinically depressed. after i turned 12, my brain slowed down drastically.

after i turned 21, i rapidly became academically stupider. biking/running/walking/mechanical engineering/structural egineering/math/physics skills dropped off starting then too.

and now i am quickly getting worse in a lot of ways.

and it was never that great to begin with.

so yes i am glad i ain't your age.

b/c $$ is running out, and i am going to be homeless.

unless someone makes the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse.

which is hard to imagine

and besides i find it hard to do the slightest thing now

seriously

the only thing that saved my lame @$$ from total oblivion was something which was #1 on the top of my list of things never to do, namely join the army. back during the Reagan recession when there were no jobs to be had, I was also homeless. that got old real quicklike, especially during winter. eventually, it dawned on me I was going nowhere fast, and the previously gawdawful prospect of the army looked better. back then, they were taking ANYBODY, and I was proof as they took even me [after doing a handful of health and psychiatric waivers] because they needed bodies as it was just after a bunch of Vietnam era troops retired and Ronnie raygun wanted a bigger army to counter the soviets. so in I went, it was rather worse than going on the worst roller coaster in one's whole life [if one hates roller coasters, that is]. I realize that YMMV, but that at least it is something to think about. generally the army is the most liberal in terms of who it will take, at least back in the 80s that was the case, none of the other services would have me at first glance.

I've always longed to do something like this, but the living arrangements scare the hell out of me. I don't want nobody touching my stuff.

Not sure it can get completely eradicated but you can definitely get it to a very manageable level , you might find THIS useful reading but basically it's a mindfulness approach to your anxiety.

I'm jealous of the restful dead; they are not plagued with anxieties about the future, nor tortured by bullies.

I think that's envy not jealousy

My best friend has had two girlfriends, albeit very briefly in both cases, while I've never had anything close to that. I was jealous of him both times, and part of me still is. On the other hand, both girls also hurt him emotionally, so that makes me slightly less so.

Jealousy? I think it's dumb. The wanting can feel better than the having. I understand wanting what someone else has, but I think of jealousy as also wanting the other person not to have that anymore. How will that improve anything? If we each concentrate on getting what we want without having to monopolize it, we can all get that.

If people want exclusive privileges, that probably won't work out overall.

IMHO the military is a largely hostile place for us on the spectrum who are not ultra-high-functioning. I felt like I was in a prison the whole time.

IMHO the military is a largely hostile place for us on the spectrum who are not ultra-high-functioning. I felt like I was in a prison the whole time.
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maybe NTs also felt like the military was a prison.

and yeah i ain't ultra high functioning.

and it is quickly getting much worse.

and my Axis V: Global Area Functioning was never that great to being with

but seriously though.

was it better to be a homeless civilian, or in the Army?

when you were in the Army, was it active duty or reserves?

what was your MOS?

how many years did you serve?

were you enlisted or an officer?

Uncle Sam's Army gave me 3 meals a day, and a bunk in a crowded barracks, which was a room full of 50 other smelly noisy rowdy guys. later on they split the barracks into 4 lower-enlisted man rooms. sergeants got a room to themselves, called BEQ [NCO Bachelor Enlisted Quarters].

active. we called the reservists/NGers "chairborne strangers." but they were treated better than we were. they called us active duty full-timers, "losers."
MOS [Military Occupational Specialty] 91D10, "operating room specialist/central material supply specialist. it has since changed to another name/occupational code. 91 referred to the medical field, D to operating room specialist, 10 to ranks under sergeant.

4 years too long, I got rooked by my recruiter, the rest of the GIs I served with got 3 year enlistments except for gullible me. I was double-screwed in that also my IRR [Individual Ready Reserve] obligation was 4 years instead of 3. I just barely avoided getting called back up for desert storm. anyways, I took a month's worth of terminal leave at the end of my enlistment.

lower-enlisted, I was an E4 which at the time was called a "Spec. 4." later they dropped the 4. anybody who kept their nose clean got the promotion to E4 in 26 months. I was promoted after everybody else. I worked in a military hospital in the operating room/central material supply, reprocessing used surgical instruments, relief-scrubbing in the operating room while the more experienced techs went to lunch. basically I gowned/gloved, passed instruments and supplies back and forth from the surgeons. I graduated at the bottom of my class as I was utterly inept. this would not have been the MOS i'd have freely chosen, but because of my poor ASVAB scores I was offered only this or 11B, infantry, I would rather have been a 71 [forgot the letter, a hospital administration specialist/records], 91F [psychiatric aide] or a computer operations specialist. but they didn't offer that to me even when I asked. it was at the time, "take it or leave it." I figured at least in the operating room, that nobody was shooting at me.