"It's All in Your Mind"

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And my response was as follows:

Your argument seems strong, oh what a philosophical response, but when I look a bit closer I see nothing but nonsense.

We speak from experience, yet you share few of mine, so the 'truth' that you speak retracts from my mind.

You cling to those thoughts you think should keep me at bay, while you appoint yourself leader and assume I'm astray.

To you nothing is wrong, you say it's my fault, I just sell myself short when I fall apart.

How could you know with your mindset of choice, you know nothing of struggling to connect with your voice.

You don't freeze when approached, or hide yourself away, you're the center of attention, day after day.

For you words come easy, they are natural and fluid. For me they are rigid, clumsy, and ruined.

I'm sick of being told to flip that social switch, as if it's that easy to just stop the twitch.

So I'll forget your judgements, arguments, and closed minded squandering, I'm apparently better off left alone to my pondering.

Sometimes I think my dislike of baked beans is all in my mind and I try to eat them but I just can't, I can't even have them in my mouth. And sometimes I think my AS is all in my mind but the more I try to be mainstream The more I fail. So I don't even bother trying anymore.

I do not think it ALL being in your mind---that is extreme, though some of could be and very probably is, as people's environment and conditioning can play into a person's autism and possibly even to food sensitivities, not to discount your genuine experience around stevia or whatever, but if you have a poorly developed theory of mind as many aspies do, including myself, then there is a possibility you are missing something here about this interaction and what she may have been trying to convey to you..

Like you, my family always told me I was a hypochondriac. After 8 hours of neuropsychological testing at an autism center, I finally have a diagnosis. When I told one of my brothers about it, he said, "it's all in your head." I thought a diagnosis would bring validation so they would stop saying ignorant things like that, but it has not seemed to help. Now I don't even know if I am going to tell the rest of my family about it.

Two neuropsychologists specializing in autism put me through tedious testing with measurable differences that I have from NTs, and my family STILL thinks I'm full of it. Grrrrrr

I'd like to think girly girls being horrable people is all in my own mind, too....


My mom keeps telling me it is. How can I know for sure?

I wish girly girls (other than myself) used the internet so they can tell me if they are good people or not.......

Tell your brother, that he is absolutely right! It is all in your head, - literally, - between the ears. And perhaps you should think twice before telling the rest of the family. People might prefer to stay ignorant, and you can´t do a thing about it.
If someone seems curious/open and ask why you are like this or that, you could tell it the simplest way you know, - but otherwise it might be better to ignore dumb remarks.

Such is the typical reaction of people who have no point of reference as to what you're experiencing. It stems equally of ignorance and of mistaken belief that they can "make you better" but bestowing their enlightened advice, which in reality isn't worth a pigeon's poopsicle.

Similar comments were made to me about dental phobia by a dental assistant. She then extended her comments to include depression too, and ranted how she doesn't understand her nephew who has the luxury to be depressed while there are people having "real" problems in the world.

I just remembered something else she said, and this was about her nephew. She said he's a wonderful person but he's had a lot of trouble holding a job. He's never had one he likes. And then she said, "He's a bum. He's a sweet bum."

She called him a bum, as if having trouble on the job means he's lazy. If she can be that cold toward her own nephew, it's no wonder she responded so coldly to me.

Thank you for your excellent response. I don't plan to "come out" to anyone else outside my family!

"Luxury??? Let someone like that try living inside our heads. They'll see how "luxurious" it is! God! I just remembered something else my neighbor said, and this was about her nephew. She said he's a wonderful person but he's had a lot of trouble holding a job. He's never had one he likes. And then she said, "He's a bum. He's a sweet bum."

She called him a bum, as if having trouble on the job means he's lazy. If she can be that cold toward her own nephew, it's no wonder she responded so coldly to me.

So calling someone sweet is cold??? You may be over thinking this in a way which is triggering negative emotions in yourself, but I can see why it might be upsetting, and to not come out to others about your autism is a good idea. In my experience that does not turn out well at all.

Since this person lives across the hall and you will be running into her again and again, I suggest to simply feel the painful feelings she has triggered in you without trying to analyze it, but if you do analyze it, which could maybe be of some value, I suggest to try to do it in a way which is reconciling and includes her into the reconciliation. Then it is a win-win situation.

There is some truth to what she says.

The mind is VERY powerful.

No time to write more, but I would like to say that this is a wonderful thread as the OP is giving specific personal experience rather than just making a generality about NT's of whatever. This gives a better opportunity to use this for all as a learning tool. I am maybe going to come back when I have time and give an entirely different perspective of where she may be coming from, but for now the main point is to feel good, to feel okay. Do not let anyone take that away and turn oneself into a pain filled nit-picker. We are all struggling to transcend being caught in this kind of painful maze of internal conflict and reaction.. I surely am.

There is a wonderful saying:" God's curses are our opportunities."

I was told in my childhood by my parents I am normal and I didn't believe it then because if I am normal, then why do I get treated different? Why am I different? Then I would get told everyone is different, that's happens to everyone, other kids get bullied. I would wonder why not everyone is easily targeted for getting picked on and why aren't they bullied every day or all the time. I did start believing in 5th grade it happens to everyone so when I do it, it's normal like everyone interrupts, everyone stutters, everyone says the wrong thing, everyone wants things their way. Rather all my problems are the same as everyone else or different, I don't know. I had the confusion in my head if I am normal, then why am I different than the other kids. But my parents seem to have a different definition of normal.