Useless Advice

Post Reply New Topic

@GiantHockeyFan: that is a case of bad advice altering your life--I am sorry. Stereotypes do often = trouble.

I like escalators too. In my current town, there really aren't any at all (very small place), but where I used to live I would ride them all the time at my local mall. The mall here only has one floor.

@kirayng: haven't they ever heard of IOUs? Sheesh.

"Things will get better."

This is another reason why I love the WP community! Everyone else I've tried to talk about seems to think there is something wrong with me for being this way. I actually tried to ride Canada's longest escalator (in Toronto) and it was out of service and I really got upset by that and nobody seemed to understand why. Can't completely shake that obsessive interest I feel like until recently I've had to hide my interests to avoid being laughed at or be falsely labelled as a weirdo, which is a discussion for another thread.

I definitely like my job, but I'm a blue collar person all the way even if I look and dress conservatively. Unfortunately, honor roll students are supposed to "aim higher" and I was pushed away from this line of work by everyone. It didn't matter that I knew inside out what all the types of escalators, manufacturers and how they all operated. When I moved to my current hometown we have about 50 (60+ at the time I moved here) and I was overwhelmed with excitement and everyone thought I was nuts. Sounds crazy but I almost wish I wasn't so smart and that I was viewed as a dropout so I would be allowed to pursue my dream without being forced into getting an "education" that was relatively worthless. On a lighter note, our city finally got its first vermaport (cart escalator) in the local Target store and everyone just sits there in awe watching it like it was from outer space. Gives me a big smile to see that!

Now, back on topic, here's some more worthless advice to add to a previous post:

"If you are kind to bullies you can turn them into friends"

Sure, they will PRETEND to be your friend, but only so they can get you to lower your guard so they can humiliate you even further.

"Save all your money. While everyone goes into (student) debt you will be able to graduate debt free and be financially well off"

All that did was make me spiral into a deep depression and put me so far behind socially I wasn't able to land a job for YEARS and while I didn't have any debt, I barely had any income too. I sacrificed my happiness for a nonexistent "success" that didn't really materialize. I may have turned out even worse but it certainly didn't go like I expected.

Bad advice...

The solution to my unemployment related boredom and lack of money is "get a job". This sometimes comes from people who have experienced just how hard it is to get a job.

I had another one, but I forgot what it was.

Along the same lines as "get a job" I have been told by so many people to "network more" or "get out there and network". Both those are completely useless bits of advice because they don't address the underlying anxiety or my lack of ability to maintain a normal conversation.

I had a fellow Aspie tell me I need to go up and talk to people in order to make new friends etc.

In my opinion, that kinda defeats the point of having Aspergers Syndrome, but apparently it works for him.

"Have a nice day."

Sorry. That's out of my control especially if I'm at work. It's guaranteed that someone is going to come up to me and f*ck with my karma. Never fails.

Knowing this, I usually amend it to "I hope you have a nice day." (Not really "advice" then, I guess.)

One I hear a lot is. "If your smart enough to do (this) then why are you not smart enough to do (that)".

I second this.

I don't know if I have AS or not, but either way I am quirky enough to appreciate the cute factor when it comes to being interested in something unusual like escalators. But then I always did find 'normal' boring. I believe that was my reply when my parents once asked me if I could "at least try to be more normal please". My response was "normal is boring". Unusual has always fascinated me.

dont go outside butt-naked

"Dog that barks doesn't bite" (does not apply to humans)

You're using Autism as an excuse to not do __________, even a little kid can do that.

I've been saying this for years--well before I even knew about AS.

I second (third? fourth?) the advice to "be yourself". Taken literally, it's generally not good advice for people on the spectrum, or for anyone, for that matter. Being *completely* yourself is not well received by most people.

Some time later, I realized that "be yourself" *actually* means to reveal bits and pieces of yourself in the context of the environment you are in. So, for example, when you are just getting to know someone, you should not go on about your life story, tell the person highly personal information or talk at length about a special interest (unless you have it in common). People want to know you, but not every single bit of you...a mistake I made all the time in the past.

People, expect, however, that you reveal some basic personal things about yourself and to let parts of your personality shine through within respect to basic social conventions. This is something I often didn't do because I thought people would assume that I was weird. But I'm talking about basic things I reveal to people: that I am funny and fun-loving, that I love helping others, am passionate about human behavior and I love cats.

"Alcohol gives you confidence-if you drink, you'll feel more social".

"You just need to talk more!"