This is a copy and paste of a post I made in the Women's Forum on Oxytocin:
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Physical contact, especially that of an intimate (not necessarily sexual) nature, can release things in our bodies that serve to create a bonding experience. Like Oxytocin.
It helps create bonding in mates, in parent-child relationships, can reduce stress, etc. There's a whole ton of information that is out there. Here are a couple of links to get you started:
Oxytocin: The Hormone of Love:
http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html
Bonding Matters: The Chemistry of Attachment:
http://www.babyreference.com/BondingMatters.htm
Being aware of the chemistry in our bodies is a good idea for the future. For gals, and for guys. One might not WANT to have a lot of close contact of a physical nature with someone until they are SURE they want to create a bond.
I don't mean just a sexual bond, because you'll get the emotional part with the sexual part, whether you want it or not. You'll see from just those two linked pages, that results vary in people. Of course they vary.
From the first link:
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Different questionnaires, including the Inventory of Interpersonal Problems and the Adult Attachment Scale, were used to assess each woman's previous experiences with personal and close relationships. The results were significantly correlated with the recorded changes in bloodstream oxytocin levels.
Women whose oxytocin levels rose in response to massage and remembering a positive relationship reported having little difficulty setting appropriate boundaries, being alone, and trying too hard to please others. Women whose oxytocin levels fell in response to remembering a negative emotional relationship reported greater problems with experiencing anxiety in close relationships.
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The massage mentioned was neck and shoulder. Nothing sexual. It's all additive and cumulative. Have some bad experiences, it's hard to think of anything else but bad things, so being touched might be creepy, the levels of oxytocin fall, and the response is "get away from me you freak"
Have some good experiences, the level rises with the current good experience, and bonding occurs.
We'd have to add in a gazillion links on how to change our outlook, work on our anxiety, setting boundaries, etc.
We all have different pasts. Different experiences. The same person might have different responses to different people. I mean, I'm not just going to participate at a "feel my boobies" stand, like a lemonade stand. Laughing As in "You can touch me, but not everyone can."
And the same person might have different responses FROM people. As in "My last significant other really liked this, but the new one doesn't."
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I thought some of the information might be useful for this discussion.
If one is averse to touch, then all that lovely Oxytocin is missed out on. Or if one thinks about touch as being a negative experience. It's complex, because of the other information that has already been mentioned in this thread.
If there was no "reward", because oxytocin wasn't being released, there might be that aversion to touch and social situations.
Then I have questions about wondering if an oxytocin supplement would be that effective. It is released as a reaction to something. To being touched by someone we are to bond with. I don't really want to bond with everyone.
I don't want to feel that open to anyone's input or touch or approach. I want it to be selective. As nature would have it. So that perhaps it could be used as a short acting thing with an existing couple. But I would hesitate using it in a crowd or group or work or party atmosphere.
We're talking about BONDING here. I don't want to cry every time the store clerk goes home because they are breaking the bond. Or that it's time to leave work, when I have just bonded with the entire floor. That is what would be going on in the mind...that I had just bonded with the entire floor. And that is weird.
I might have missed any mention of that, has anyone thought of that yet?