Iowa Parents Defend Bullying of Aspie teen

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I really feel for this young man. I was also bullied relentlessly all the way through grade school, and my teachers turned away or condoned the actions of my classmates. I was suicidal by the time I turned ten. This was 46 years ago and I'm appalled that this is still happening.

I don't necessarily agree with this. I think you need to take each issue on its own merits and make a decision then.

"I would say three-fourths of this stuff he brings on himself and and probably a fourth of it is bullying that shouldn't be going on," Weatherly said.

"a fourth of it is bullying that shouldn't be going on"! !! !! !??????

What bullying should be going on?????

If those parents had just a little decency in life, they would explain a few things to their bullying kids!
I´m shocked!

I don't hate you. I don't even know you.

I do think bullying did screw me up for life though. I don't work, don't have friends and I barely even leave my house. The way I was treated made me expect that everyone would not like me and want to harm me.

When I was in school I even had a school counselor tell me that people treated me the way that they did because of the way I acted. I didn't know what I was doing wrong or how to act any other way. They didn't give me any helpful advice.

Every time I hear someone brought bullying upon themselves, I always wonder what did the person do to deserve it. I just picture the person being a bully, being mean to others and nasty and I have no respect for those people just like I don't care if child abusers get abused in prison or beaten and men who committed sex crimes on a child get chased out of their neighborhood and lot of us feel they brought it upon themselves.

Heck even I feel I brought some bullying upon myself because of the things I did as a kid and looking back I wouldn't have respect for that person either. I did teasing and liked provoking kids for a reaction and I was bossy because I wanted everything my way and I tested people. Even my own mother would make it out to be my fault and then in my teens she said it wasn't my fault.

I reacted to the bullying exactly like Hanyo. I am older and have been working on the problems for more years, but I still feel mild panic before going out, because my subconcious believes, that "we" are going to be bullied or be punished for making mistakes/faux passes.
I´m usually allright when I am out the door.

I think bullying affected me in a positive way. My mother would tell me what exactly I was doing wrong and why kids won't want to play with me or want me around and why they think I am mean or don't like me. Note: not liking someone nor wanting to be around them nor wanting to play with them or thinking someone is mean isn't bullying. But it did get me to change to be a better person so I will be more considerate and caring and be more flexible in my play and it still didn't get me more friends or make kids like me but it made me feel better about myself and I didn't feel so bad anymore. I then felt I deserved to have respect now.

Bullying doesn't work on most people but it has worked on some like me to make us better people such as being tougher. Lot of people think shaming someone will make them work on something harder and get better such as losing weight or have better hand writing, etc. but it doesn't work. It may be true for some but it's not for others. Making fun of me for how I talked or teasing me about my "buck teeth" didn't work. All it did was it made me not want to show my teeth in photos and make me not want to talk around anyone who made fun of me for how I spoke. At least my mom never told me to talk better or have better speech so I won't get teased or tell me to stop having buck teeth and kids won't make a big deal about it.

Uhm it is clearer now. I thought that "I hate people" meant you hate every single human being on Earth. I guess I took it too literally, sorry.
Yeah I think that bullying sure made me very paranoid. I wasn't as paranoid as I am now before getting bullied.
I am lucky I was never physically bullied but I read here http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the ... -the-brain that the so-called "verbal abuse" causes damage as well. Maybe it is my case, but I don't know if it is like that for everyone. I don't know the way you were bullied.
My father got through some verbal bullying in school but he neither knows how he feels about it. Y'know, he's somewhat a schizoid, he doesn't know his feelings well and doesn't really care/talk about them that much. But to me it doesn't look like it affected him that much. He doesn't have real friends (he used to when he was younger though) but he works and even managed to get married and have kids.
Even though I was never physically bullied I fear I could costantly be physically attacked, I think this is both because of my classmates threatening me to beat me up (but they have never done it) and hearing almost daily on the news channels about girls my same age, around 16-17-18, being assaulted, raped and/or murdered. I fear the same could happen to me, in fact when people at bus stops ask me directions or other stuff I am on guard because I think they might be trying to distract me so they can stun me and then kidnap me. I think other girls' problem (in most cases I've heard about) is that they trust those who compliment them or offer them drinks too much. I'd never go with someone who offers me a drink, may they be male or female, my same age, older, or younger. Ever.
I leave the house because I go to school, I am too young to work and I have some friends. The problem is that I don't trust my friends. Not even them. They might betray me and end up doing something to hurt me.
Everyone could harm me, or dislike me, or pretend to like me while they don't. I never really trust anyone (except my parents).
Yeah Yeah I was told as well that it was my fault but I got so used to being told it is my fault by now that I don't even care anymore.

I'm sure these kids are going to grow up to be rapists, that's the type of logic they use and how disgusting they are.

Every time I hear someone brought bullying upon themselves, I wonder what kind of person would blame someone for being a victim of assault, battery, and harassment. And I consider the person making the statement to be an unreliable source of information because they start with a lie: That a victim of bullying brought it upon themselves. No, they didn't. The bullies chose to bully them. Period.

It amazes me how much people are willing to be apologists for and make excuses for bullying.

^^^^^

Thank you.

So it's not the mean kid's fault if they get bullied? It's not the bully's fault if they get bullied? It's not the rapists fault if they get beaten up or raped in prison? It's not the sex offender's fault if he gets beaten up or raped in prison as well or get chased from their home by parents because he sexually assaulted a child? Would it not be Frankie's fault if he got bullied as well because he liked going around bullying other kids and hurting disabled kids and bragging about it and breaking their bones and abusing his mother to get his way and to control her? My mom and I got rid of this child by not letting him back in our home again because he was getting too violent and nearly killed my brothers and their friends with an ax and thank god he got shipped off to Seattle and thrown in the hospital for it but got out sadly because he had not changed. My ex used to just pick him up and toss him on the ground for self defense when they went to the same school because he always gave him trouble. I didn't even give a s**t if he did that because the kid was evil. I suppose you think I am lying about my experience.

It's not my fault I got rejected or not want kids around me because I wouldn't stop teasing other kids or being bossy and acting mean?

It's not the mean kid's fault for getting bullied, but let's not confuse bullying and self-defense, either. It's not the rapist's fault if they get beaten up or raped in prison because prison is a terrible idea in the first place and how we handle criminals is terrible. Rapists and child molesters being chased from their homes seems a reasonable reaction to promote one's own safety, not bullying.

And let's not even try to start with "rape is a justifiable response in some situations" because that's BS.



It would not be his fault. Other people chose to bully him. If they are defending themselves, that is not bullying.



Why would you think that I would think you're lying about your experience? That is again self defense. If your ex was just throwing him on the ground whenever he wanted, that would be bullying.



It's not your fault that you were bullied. I mean, I'm sorry your mother convinced you that it was, but that doesn't make it so. That's not the same thing as being rejected for teasing kids or being bossy and acting mean (which by itself sounds like it constitutes some degree of bullying on its own).

You said "And I consider the person making the statement to be an unreliable source of information because they start with a lie:"

so I thought you thought I was lying or did I misunderstood?

I have heard stories in the media where a sex offender gets released from prison and they move into a neighborhood and parents finds out about it and start harassing them, also the fact someone once posted on Craigslist about a sex offender moving into a home but they posted the wrong address so these innocent people came home and found their house all wrecked. That is what I was talking about when I said sex offenders get chased from their homes by parents. Very few people think this is wrong because they have served their time in jail but lot of people don't think they should be left in peace so they think harassment is okay in this situation, especially beating them up.