Asperger's makes me seem un-ladylike

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You don't have to be ladylike all the time, or even most of the time. It just depends on where you are and who you are with. I'm not ladylike at all, although I do dress that way over half the time. I can also be, sound and act like a perfect lady. It's not "who I am" really, and I don't think it's who anybody really is because most of the very ladylike ladies I've been friends with aren't so ladylike when it's just us sitting around. However, it is something you need to at least know how to do for certain times, mainly social ones and more formal social ones. Or snooty ones, like Junior League if you are interested in that. But for day to day, just be yourself. I seriously doubt that you spit or adjust yourself in public, or walk around with grease under your nails or things like that.

To me, ladylike is really just charm school stuff. Not hard at all to learn. Tell your dad that if he wants to see you ladylike then to take you out to a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. Dress to the nines and put on your best ladylike manners so he can see. Also, explain to him that most of the lady's he meets who are ladylike aren't that way in private and certainly not all the time.