How is this offensive?

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Off topic but here is another example of people taking offense to something that wasn't even offensive.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/169935/ ... 1#comments

This article is about a 8 month old weighing 44 lbs and the author wrote that is the average weight of a five year old and some parents too offense to it and complained in their comments about it because their six year old weighs more than that and is tall for their age. Some other people told them to chill and it was about a infant weighing that much, not their child. Even someone told that mother it was stupid to be offended by it because clearly an 8 month old weighing 44 lbs is not okay. Yes looking at the photo and the video, the infant is huge and is having health problems because of it.

As KOR said, sometimes it has to do with background that makes someone take offense and maybe the mother who took offense has been judged for her kid's weight even though he or she isn't fat or overweight so it was a trigger sentence for her because it brought back all those memories and flash backs of those people who are so quick to judge and assume without knowing all the details so the mother did not think rationally because her mind was clouded. But I say that is the mother's problem, not the author's. The author didn't do anything wrong just like I think the person on Facebook didn't do anything wrong when he posted that comment. Some people will have a clouded view due to bad experience so they will read into what is written and twist what you say. Aspies do this too, not just NTs so I think it's a universal thing and the incident did happen in an aspie group.

ETA: Funny enough, they say we don't see things from other peoples perspective and I just did that with the mother who took offense and not one other person in the comments considered that view. I think it does help to try and speculate why someone took offense to something to save your own sanity and so you are not so upset they took offense and not so annoyed at them for it. It's like making up a story about someone. Something my mother used to do with me with these pictures when I was little to change my way of thinking. It was also to teach me to see the bigger picture.

Definitely, agree.

I, personally, do not find it offensive.

Food for thought....

YOU do not get to determine what I find offensive. I do. So while you may be able to say that you would not find it offensive, you cannot tell me how I should feel. Its not your place. Its not even your place to judge how I feel, especially if you have not even taken the time to understand why I feel that way. Its ok to ask why someone might feel the way they do. But it's not fair to judge it.

I just really think people, especially on the internet like to complain and get in arguments. The media take advantage of this and tell news stories in a way that will get a rise out of people. I've had to stop myself many times from responding when I got personally offended by what was said. In the end it just wastes time and makes you more angry. It took me a long time to fight against this urge and sometimes my mood issues can make it damn near impossible to ignore, but when I do I feel better.

Yes, behind these people getting offended is a whole background history that no one knows about. I think it's better to reveal that in a more rational manner than losing your sh** at somebody that had no idea they were making you feel that way.

As for that 44lb 8 month old, some people just can't help relate it to something more personal. Maybe the woman read the title as '44lb 8 year old.' I dunno. I don't comment on those stories because it's none of my business. That's why I hate comments on news stories. People think their opinion even matters.

I think if you get worked up by what someone says, try to ignore it - if you can't then walk away. I have bipolar disorder, a hormone imbalance and generalized anxiety so I've got no real choice but to avoid those situations. It all contributes to my later depressive mood. I just ignore my emotions and try to write a calm answer or don't say anything at all.

That's true. Also remember that people can make mistakes, overlook things and if they're not understanding why a person is hurt they will assume you're overreacting to nothing. I think when we use vague statements it opens up a variety of ways to interpret what was said. I actually write that way in an ADHD forum and it often ends up in a huge argument. Here, I use more detail.

Everyone seems to overreact emotionally on the internet. I used to but I find it better letting the emotions pass and then reply. I'm just sensitive to peoples emotions, even through writing. I can hear their voices, their shouting. I'd rather just ignore the fact they are offended. It takes a lot of effort to remember that people can take things personally.

The last thing someone said that was really offensive to me was someone saying high moods in ADHD was just like mania in bipolar. I responded with two sentences and left forever. Maybe I shouldn't have overreacted but I did feel some personal feelings towards that statement, by someone who doesn't know what it's like to have bipolar I should add.

I don't like getting too deeply involved in forums or social networking sites anymore. When that happens I feel we begin to take things more personally.

Another thing I don't understand when people get insulted by people saying 'person with autism' while the other gets offended by someone saying 'autistic person.'

And I could have tore apart the person who wrote about Asperger's syndrome as: "the relatively mild social awkwardness of Asperger’s syndrome."

Link: http://www.nbcnews.com/health/kids-heal ... rth-n62681

Good article though, even if the description of autism and AS make me cringe.

I didn't say anything by the way. Maybe I should. The author might change their wording.

I still get easily offended too, I just go to my happy place when that happens.

It comes across as "I'm glad I'm not REALLY disabled like all you other ret*ds."

But that's not what that guy said. He compared himself to a group of other people and then said he was glad he wasn't like them.

I've heard people with Asperger's actually say that. You know, the ones who want to separate themselves from classic autism? In those cases they were being insensitive a**holes.

The poor guy did not put in any negative emotional language. I'm going to assume it was just an innocent statement that got blown way out of proportion.

Here sometimes people just change the subject when things get negative.

I have as well already mentioned in a thread, that my sister had several allergies and asthma, and that in comparison, I feel glad about me being me with my Aspergers, then being her with her allergies and asthma.

I do like my sister, but yes, I think her astham and allergies enable her way more, then my Asperger does to me, so I am glad not to be like her, when it comes to her asthma and allergies.

I wonder how a disabled person who can't feed themselves or walk or sit up or go to the bathroom feel if an AB/DL said to them how lucky they are to be that way because they get to wear diapers and "be treated like they are a baby" and sleeping in a crib?

I think I would be offended if someone wished something that bad I have if I had that problem because I would rather walk and do anything like everyone else and feed myself and get my own food and dress myself than having to be taken care of and not being able to do anything like play video games or using the computer. So someone being glad they don't have this wouldn't offend me.

To me it's ignorance when people wish for a disability like autism because of the stereotypes about it like Rain Man. Why not just wish for his gift than autism? That would make more sense and not be offensive.

See I reversed it. Instead of being glad you don't have it as bad as someone else, someone is wishing they had it bad as someone else because they think something about that disability is awesome.

What if someone had told me in school they wished they had my disability so they would have a teacher's aid and get their work modified so they do less school work and having their teacher "doing their work for them" and being able to leave class and not ever get detention for screaming or acting out. I would find that ignorant because they would rather have my learning struggles just for those accommodations? But what about their future? Do they want to go to collage and major in something, they wouldn't be able to get that with my disability. I would also rather not have anxiety and I would rather have the ability to deal with stress well than shutting down or getting anxiety and it's too much for me to handle. Yeah I would think they were ignorant because I think their life is easier than mine and can have a better life than me. I also get offended when people with to be non verbal or wanting to go back to it because I used to not be able to talk and my life got a lot easier when I could talk because I could now defend myself by telling my side of the story and can get people to understand easier what I want or when a kid does something to me I didn't like and this is the life those people want? But I also understand it's a rant and they don't mean it so I take less offense to that because I used to feel the same way about mental retardation. Wishing I was ret*d so not much would be expected from me but even that was a rant then and I truly didn't want that condition. I think some people don't think rational when they wish for things like being non verbal or being more autistic because they are just frustrated or depressed. I remember seeing someone on here wishing she had breast cancer so her boobs would be cut off. If someone is just ranting and are upset and then wish for something worse on themselves, I give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume it's part of their rant and they don't mean it so no offense taken then.

Imagine you are the person who said that- a person with mild autism.

Imagine how you would then feel if you heard a nonautistic say "After hearing about yøu losers Im sure glad I dont have ANY kind of autism!".

You probably wouldnt feel great.

But he didn't say that. He said "I'm glad I have the mildest Asperger's there is." He didn't call anyone losers or nothing. People are just reading into it and blowing it out of proportion if they keep on exaggerating.

Demonstrating that offense is a subjective emotional state. Clearly it was offensive to someone, since they were offended. Doesn't make them right to be offended, though. Or wrong. It just means they're offended.

Oh and your earlier reply - I couldn't work out what you meant by mentioning the word KOR used that you didn't.

Where in my OP did I mention "political correctness?" It was KOR who first said the word, not me. Or did I misunderstand your post to her and it had nothing to do with my OP and I assumed it did?

I also found it interesting someone said in the group how it was poorly worded the guy did and I thought "Way to blame your mistake on him."

It looks like word twisting to me when someone says something and other people claim that person said this or that and that is saying "I am better than all you losers because I am glad I don't have autism bad as you" when the guy only said he is glad he has the mildest case of AS there is. I was surprised the guy didn't defend himself when people took offense. But why am I surprised if I don't always bother defending myself either.

I was responding to someone else who posted after KOR's first mention of the word. Totally not directed at you, and I'm sorry if that was unclear.



If it were me I'd probably just apologize and remove the post because for me at least that wouldn't be a hill worth dying on.

I have the tendency to think posts are about my OP when someone responds in my thread.