03 May 2014, 1:45 am
tall-p wrote:
bumble wrote:
I have tried, the therapist has referred me for an assessment with Aspergers east anglia but I have not heard back yet.
I have been socialising and its scaring me because people are acting irrationally. They keep spamming my phone, wont accept a decline or a no, and keep moving a head far too quickly.
One talks about pairing up as life partners when we have not even met in person, only talked on the phone. Thaat is not how relationships work. I want someone I can fall in love..gradually with. You don't start talking about life partnerships until both people feel the same about each other. I am not looking for a business arrangement.
The other wont let me decline a date as he keeps texting me telling me how upset he is which makes me feel bad. I feel like he is relying on me emotionally and again is moving too quickly. I've had one cup of coffee with him and he is talking about adding me to his car insurance to teach me to drive. Very nice but a bit soon considering I have only spent two hours with the man in a cafe.
People keep talking to me about self hatred which Ive mentioned prior to this. Then there was the guy on drugs who lectured me for hours on his feelings of inferiority and how I made him feel like he was not good enough. All I said was I doubted our compatibility. I don't care about all this superior and inferior rubbish, life is too short.
I am getting really scared. The more I socialise the more irrational people seem to be. I just want to get out of here. I am thinking about selling all my stuff and just taking off to another part of the country in order to find some sane people.
Change my thinking how? I cant take on this belief system about worthlessness, I don't believe in it. I don't see how anything can be truly worthless. It is not a rational way of thinking. Its a way of measuring things or quantifying the unquantifiable but it's not rational or realistic. It's a common cultural belief and not some truth about life and the universe.
I have no intentions of hating myself. For what? Maybe I have strong opinions, and opinions can change when the evidence stops supporting them as it's the evidence I follow more than anything (when I am not being emotional) but I have never hurt anyone and have always gone out of my way to look after people I have been close to. I even gave up things I wanted for them.
I don't understand what about my life is weird. I eat an unprocessed food healthy diet, go to the gym, am learning to play piano, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, and am trying to learn new skills as a way of potentially earning money in the future (Id like teach piano once I have learned enough myself to do so as well as start designing my own needle craft designs just to see how it goes and I would like to find away to earn enough money to finish my Archaeology degree). I do the paleo thing becuase it keeps me physically well. If I go back to eating grains and dairy I start getting sick again and can't function as I am too unwell with CFS like symptoms. Those have reversed completely on paleo diet and my low mood/depression does not cause me any physical problems except a little insomnia.
I talk to myself as there is no one else to talk to. I shout to myself because I am in a lot of pain and it seems to be a harmless way of releasing it. I stopped the head hitting as I didn't want to hurt myself because I was in distress.
I am really confused. Don't understand what is going on socially. And I am getting really scared. Genuinely scared with the people I meet acting so strangely.
Strangers asking me if I hate myself. People talking about life relationships when I hardly know them. People telling me all about their feelings of worthlessness all the time when I don't really know how to help them (can they not see a professional please?).
Is the world really like that outside? Is that is what is normal now?
I was sick for years before the paleo diet and could not leave the house. I was isolated and virtually bed ridden due to my symptoms, did the world change that much.
Someone tell me what happened out there please. Before I got physically unwell and housebound people seemed to be more rational. They dated a person before trying to get serious, hell i dated my sons father for 6 months before we even had sex and no one talked about life partners. One day someone just said 'I love you' and the other said 'I love you back' and them some time after that sex happened and months after that someone said 'would you like to live together' and so we bought our own flat and had a son...but I got postnatal depression really badly and things started to go wrong. We split up, we got back together, he asked me to marry him, I go nervous and declined, we broke up again...and that was the end of that. But it took a natural progression. It wasn't weird. He liked my quirks, they were one of the main things he loved about me. He never tried to make me different.
For the 24 years I lived in Worcester before moving to Norfolk no one ever talked about self hatred or beating oneself up. Such things were just not mentioned and they certainly wouldn't ask a complete stranger if they hated themselves. That would have been considered inappropriate.
I don't know what happened to the world. It used to be different. People didn't spend hours texting or on the computer they came round and visited you for a cuppa so you could clean up whilst chatting to them. If you were done they'd say lets go out and have some fun instead of giving you a hug and a cliche. Or you would stay in with a chinese or pizza and rent a bad 80s movie to watch together.
In those days having a routine or wanting to have regular diary slots for you visit to the gym was not seen as abnormal. Shyness was just being shy not a disease to be medicated. If you didn't have anything to say people just figured you didn't have anything to say and would talk amongst themselves until you did.
What happened out there while I was ill.
I am really confused. This is not the world I grew up in.
I have been socialising and its scaring me because people are acting irrationally. They keep spamming my phone, wont accept a decline or a no, and keep moving a head far too quickly.
One talks about pairing up as life partners when we have not even met in person, only talked on the phone. Thaat is not how relationships work. I want someone I can fall in love..gradually with. You don't start talking about life partnerships until both people feel the same about each other. I am not looking for a business arrangement.
The other wont let me decline a date as he keeps texting me telling me how upset he is which makes me feel bad. I feel like he is relying on me emotionally and again is moving too quickly. I've had one cup of coffee with him and he is talking about adding me to his car insurance to teach me to drive. Very nice but a bit soon considering I have only spent two hours with the man in a cafe.
People keep talking to me about self hatred which Ive mentioned prior to this. Then there was the guy on drugs who lectured me for hours on his feelings of inferiority and how I made him feel like he was not good enough. All I said was I doubted our compatibility. I don't care about all this superior and inferior rubbish, life is too short.
I am getting really scared. The more I socialise the more irrational people seem to be. I just want to get out of here. I am thinking about selling all my stuff and just taking off to another part of the country in order to find some sane people.
Change my thinking how? I cant take on this belief system about worthlessness, I don't believe in it. I don't see how anything can be truly worthless. It is not a rational way of thinking. Its a way of measuring things or quantifying the unquantifiable but it's not rational or realistic. It's a common cultural belief and not some truth about life and the universe.
I have no intentions of hating myself. For what? Maybe I have strong opinions, and opinions can change when the evidence stops supporting them as it's the evidence I follow more than anything (when I am not being emotional) but I have never hurt anyone and have always gone out of my way to look after people I have been close to. I even gave up things I wanted for them.
I don't understand what about my life is weird. I eat an unprocessed food healthy diet, go to the gym, am learning to play piano, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, and am trying to learn new skills as a way of potentially earning money in the future (Id like teach piano once I have learned enough myself to do so as well as start designing my own needle craft designs just to see how it goes and I would like to find away to earn enough money to finish my Archaeology degree). I do the paleo thing becuase it keeps me physically well. If I go back to eating grains and dairy I start getting sick again and can't function as I am too unwell with CFS like symptoms. Those have reversed completely on paleo diet and my low mood/depression does not cause me any physical problems except a little insomnia.
I talk to myself as there is no one else to talk to. I shout to myself because I am in a lot of pain and it seems to be a harmless way of releasing it. I stopped the head hitting as I didn't want to hurt myself because I was in distress.
I am really confused. Don't understand what is going on socially. And I am getting really scared. Genuinely scared with the people I meet acting so strangely.
Strangers asking me if I hate myself. People talking about life relationships when I hardly know them. People telling me all about their feelings of worthlessness all the time when I don't really know how to help them (can they not see a professional please?).
Is the world really like that outside? Is that is what is normal now?
I was sick for years before the paleo diet and could not leave the house. I was isolated and virtually bed ridden due to my symptoms, did the world change that much.
Someone tell me what happened out there please. Before I got physically unwell and housebound people seemed to be more rational. They dated a person before trying to get serious, hell i dated my sons father for 6 months before we even had sex and no one talked about life partners. One day someone just said 'I love you' and the other said 'I love you back' and them some time after that sex happened and months after that someone said 'would you like to live together' and so we bought our own flat and had a son...but I got postnatal depression really badly and things started to go wrong. We split up, we got back together, he asked me to marry him, I go nervous and declined, we broke up again...and that was the end of that. But it took a natural progression. It wasn't weird. He liked my quirks, they were one of the main things he loved about me. He never tried to make me different.
For the 24 years I lived in Worcester before moving to Norfolk no one ever talked about self hatred or beating oneself up. Such things were just not mentioned and they certainly wouldn't ask a complete stranger if they hated themselves. That would have been considered inappropriate.
I don't know what happened to the world. It used to be different. People didn't spend hours texting or on the computer they came round and visited you for a cuppa so you could clean up whilst chatting to them. If you were done they'd say lets go out and have some fun instead of giving you a hug and a cliche. Or you would stay in with a chinese or pizza and rent a bad 80s movie to watch together.
In those days having a routine or wanting to have regular diary slots for you visit to the gym was not seen as abnormal. Shyness was just being shy not a disease to be medicated. If you didn't have anything to say people just figured you didn't have anything to say and would talk amongst themselves until you did.
What happened out there while I was ill.
I am really confused. This is not the world I grew up in.
I have chatted a little with you bumble, and read many of your posts. I remember posts where you used to ride the bus, and sit in in bars waiting for conversations to start up... people thought you were strange you reported.
People are just like you imho. Just like you want people to like and accept you just like you are, so do other people. But you think there's something wrong with them... and then they think there is something wrong with you. You have everything figured out... you know yourself, and the rest of the world. BUT I think if you would, next time you meet a stranger, don't talk about yourself, and just concentrate on getting them to talk about their life and opinions, you would be much better off. Just try to draw them out. Don't make other people wrong... make them right.
This is one of the "secrets" that psychologists figured out long ago. It's called "transference." Have you ever noticed that they NEVER talk about themselves? They wait. They ask leading questions, and followups. They smile at your jokes, and nod seriously when you share an opinion. But what is the result? We adore them... and keep coming back. Remember... don't make other people wrong.
I do ask them questions about themselves and let them talk. I don't speak much as I can't think of things to say other than to sound like I am interrogating them. And all they do is talk about themselves. They keep telling about things they have said to people I don't know and what those people said back to them and I don't know what to say because I don't know any of the people they are talking about so I can't comment.
It is like people talking about politics. I am not well versed in politics and I don't know anything about it. So when I am quiet people complain about my not speaking but I don't know anything about what they are talking about.
I have cared for disabled relatives.
Given up things in my life so they could have things they wanted
Sat quietly and listened and listened
Helped out when needed.
It still doesn't work. People just walk all over me and when I get too run down to carry on giving they just walk away.
I don't mind letting people be right but it is costly to my life then I am starting to become concerned. I am not sure I want to destroy my own life and health just to let someone be right because they cant accept sometimes being wrong. And it's not really fair of them to expect me to do that. If any of these people actually cared anything about me they would not want me to do something that was detrimental to my own well being.
I never speak about myself in person. I can talk about myself in writing but in person I am shy and uncomfortable talking about myself personally and do not want to go into details about my personal business or health issues face to face with someone. The last time someone probed by asking me questions I felt really really uncomfortable as i did not want these people judging something that may not understand.
when socialising I'd rather do something like go bowling, go to a museum, go to the theater, go for a meal, go to a theme park, go for a walk by the coast, anything but sit and talk about myself.
I only talk about my issues when I am trying to talk my way through a problem. I am seeking a solution but I would not call this casual chat. Casual chat and talking about problems are not the same thing to me. Casual chat goes like this:
(hypothetical conversation)
Them: Hello, nice sunny day today isn't it
Me: yes it's lovely. Are you enjoying the sun?
Them: Oh yes, later I am heading down to the beach for a paddle
Me: That sounds nice. You have come beautiful coast line around here
Them: Yes we do, are you heading down to the beach yourself?
Me: I may do later on but I want to pop into one of the local museums first
Them: We have some nice museums here, have you visited any of them...
Me: A few, have you? Which would you recommend?
Them: Well.....
And so on and so forth.
Not:
Them: So when did you move here? What health problems did you have? Do you work? What happened with your son?
Prying much?
It was soooo horribly uncomfortable.
03 May 2014, 1:59 am
Sweetleaf wrote:
bumble wrote:
btbnnyr wrote:
Many people have tried to help you in previous threads, but improving your situation depends mostly on you helping yourself and getting help from people around you in person, not on WP.
I recommend a therapist who can help you think about things differently than you have been thinking about them, because the way that you have been thinking about things doesn't seem to be working for you.
I recommend a therapist who can help you think about things differently than you have been thinking about them, because the way that you have been thinking about things doesn't seem to be working for you.
I have tried, the therapist has referred me for an assessment with Aspergers east anglia but I have not heard back yet.
I have been socialising and its scaring me because people are acting irrationally. They keep spamming my phone, wont accept a decline or a no, and keep moving a head far too quickly.
One talks about pairing up as life partners when we have not even met in person, only talked on the phone. Thaat is not how relationships work. I want someone I can fall in love..gradually with. You don't start talking about life partnerships until both people feel the same about each other. I am not looking for a business arrangement.
The other wont let me decline a date as he keeps texting me telling me how upset he is which makes me feel bad. I feel like he is relying on me emotionally and again is moving too quickly. I've had one cup of coffee with him and he is talking about adding me to his car insurance to teach me to drive. Very nice but a bit soon considering I have only spent two hours with the man in a cafe.
People keep talking to me about self hatred which Ive mentioned prior to this. Then there was the guy on drugs who lectured me for hours on his feelings of inferiority and how I made him feel like he was not good enough. All I said was I doubted our compatibility. I don't care about all this superior and inferior rubbish, life is too short.
I am getting really scared. The more I socialise the more irrational people seem to be. I just want to get out of here. I am thinking about selling all my stuff and just taking off to another part of the country in order to find some sane people.
Change my thinking how? I cant take on this belief system about worthlessness, I don't believe in it. I don't see how anything can be truly worthless. It is not a rational way of thinking. Its a way of measuring things or quantifying the unquantifiable but it's not rational or realistic. It's a common cultural belief and not some truth about life and the universe.
I have no intentions of hating myself. For what? Maybe I have strong opinions, and opinions can change when the evidence stops supporting them as it's the evidence I follow more than anything (when I am not being emotional) but I have never hurt anyone and have always gone out of my way to look after people I have been close to. I even gave up things I wanted for them.
I don't understand what about my life is weird. I eat an unprocessed food healthy diet, go to the gym, am learning to play piano, don't drink alcohol, don't do drugs, and am trying to learn new skills as a way of potentially earning money in the future (Id like teach piano once I have learned enough myself to do so as well as start designing my own needle craft designs just to see how it goes and I would like to find away to earn enough money to finish my Archaeology degree). I do the paleo thing becuase it keeps me physically well. If I go back to eating grains and dairy I start getting sick again and can't function as I am too unwell with CFS like symptoms. Those have reversed completely on paleo diet and my low mood/depression does not cause me any physical problems except a little insomnia.
I talk to myself as there is no one else to talk to. I shout to myself because I am in a lot of pain and it seems to be a harmless way of releasing it. I stopped the head hitting as I didn't want to hurt myself because I was in distress.
I am really confused. Don't understand what is going on socially. And I am getting really scared. Genuinely scared with the people I meet acting so strangely.
Strangers asking me if I hate myself. People talking about life relationships when I hardly know them. People telling me all about their feelings of worthlessness all the time when I don't really know how to help them (can they not see a professional please?).
Is the world really like that outside? Is that is what is normal now?
I was sick for years before the paleo diet and could not leave the house. I was isolated and virtually bed ridden due to my symptoms, did the world change that much.
Someone tell me what happened out there please. Before I got physically unwell and housebound people seemed to be more rational. They dated a person before trying to get serious, hell i dated my sons father for 6 months before we even had sex and no one talked about life partners. One day someone just said 'I love you' and the other said 'I love you back' and them some time after that sex happened and months after that someone said 'would you like to live together' and so we bought our own flat and had a son...but I got postnatal depression really badly and things started to go wrong. We split up, we got back together, he asked me to marry him, I go nervous and declined, we broke up again...and that was the end of that. But it took a natural progression. It wasn't weird. He liked my quirks, they were one of the main things he loved about me. He never tried to make me different.
For the 24 years I lived in Worcester before moving to Norfolk no one ever talked about self hatred or beating oneself up. Such things were just not mentioned and they certainly wouldn't ask a complete stranger if they hated themselves. That would have been considered inappropriate.
I don't know what happened to the world. It used to be different. People didn't spend hours texting or on the computer they came round and visited you for a cuppa so you could clean up whilst chatting to them. If you were done they'd say lets go out and have some fun instead of giving you a hug and a cliche. Or you would stay in with a chinese or pizza and rent a bad 80s movie to watch together.
In those days having a routine or wanting to have regular diary slots for you visit to the gym was not seen as abnormal. Shyness was just being shy not a disease to be medicated. If you didn't have anything to say people just figured you didn't have anything to say and would talk amongst themselves until you did.
What happened out there while I was ill.
I am really confused. This is not the world I grew up in.
Tell these two people you are not interested in an intimate relationship be very clear about it....if they can't take no for an answer don't give in, its not up to someone else if you date them or not, its your decision. I understand perhaps it can be hard to be assertive, but you have to....otherwise people can get the wrong idea and perhaps think you are intrested when you aren't. I mean maybe you are being very direct....in which case you may need to stop contact if they wont stop harrasing you about not going out with them or take legal action if need be....but if you're being indirect at all, it could be these people get the wrong idea.
But what do I know, not sure I exactly fit the category of a sane person....so perhaps my advice is no good, but that is what I think about that.
I have trouble asserting myself. I like to break things gently so as not to hurt feelings. Perhaps I am not clear enough but I don't want to have to be mean to them.
You seem sane enough to me, I actually find myself wondering what exactly insanity is. If a whole society did go mad would it know it was insane? And if all humans were insane would that still be insanity itself or would that make them normal for their species? What if 95% of society was insane or delusional and didn't know it would that mean that the 5% who were sane would be labelled as being mentally ill?
similarly:
If the whole world was austistic would autism exist or would it just be classed as normal? What about non autistic populations in that society, would they be labelled as disordered?
Maybe I should have been born into a different culture with different belief systems because my way of thinking is a disability in this one. However just because it's a disability in this particular society that does not mean it is wrong. Just conflicting with this cultures main belief systems. Just as galileo pissed off the church with heliocentrism and got himself condemned to a life under house arrest I pissed off the general population (or the internet one) and got myself condemned to the disordered pile.
Could have been worse, it could be the middle ages. During those times I'd have been accussed of being a witch and would have been hung, or drowned in the ducking stool or burned at the stake (although that was rare). Lucky me for living in the 21st century.
Thank god I don't have epilepsy, I'd have had to undergo an exorcism as well along side my examination with a bodkin and various other torture devices to detect my 3rd nipple given to me by the antichrist.
I should just go find a different culture to live in I think. One more compatible with my beliefs or my particular style of thinking.
03 May 2014, 2:10 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
Hey Bumble,
Hope your next thread is entitled "Why NOT?"
I wonder if joining an organization with dealing paleoanthropology might help somewhat. You could speak about the real Paleolithic diet and the reasoning behind their food choices. Lots of Carbon 14/Potassium-Argon type things involved. I wish you could go to one of their conventions--that would snap you out of your doldrums! You would have been great in the time when lectures were part of "pop culture."
Of course, Piltdown Man was a hoax. Would you happen to know if Neanderthals inhabited England? I am under the impression that Man in the British Isles is a relatively recent phenomena--maybe 20,000 BC--which would be in the Upper Paleolithic/Upper Pleistocene; whereas Neanderthals were in the Middle Paleolithic/Middle Pleistocene. I could be wrong, though.
I think you mentioned somewhere that you've actually made flint tools. Do you believe you could reproduce the Mousterian Culture? That would be fun. It would be a great diversion, too.
I wish I could stroke your hair, dry up your tears.
Hope your next thread is entitled "Why NOT?"
I wonder if joining an organization with dealing paleoanthropology might help somewhat. You could speak about the real Paleolithic diet and the reasoning behind their food choices. Lots of Carbon 14/Potassium-Argon type things involved. I wish you could go to one of their conventions--that would snap you out of your doldrums! You would have been great in the time when lectures were part of "pop culture."
Of course, Piltdown Man was a hoax. Would you happen to know if Neanderthals inhabited England? I am under the impression that Man in the British Isles is a relatively recent phenomena--maybe 20,000 BC--which would be in the Upper Paleolithic/Upper Pleistocene; whereas Neanderthals were in the Middle Paleolithic/Middle Pleistocene. I could be wrong, though.
I think you mentioned somewhere that you've actually made flint tools. Do you believe you could reproduce the Mousterian Culture? That would be fun. It would be a great diversion, too.
I wish I could stroke your hair, dry up your tears.
I was thinking about joining a kayaking group, climbing club, riding school, amateur dramatics groups and the local geological organisation.
I am not sure if there are any paleo or anthropolgy groups in the area. I may try meetup.com to find other paleo dieters but finding someone with similar interests is only part of it I think. Lately I feel as though I should be seeking a compatible personality regardless of whether we share the same leisure activities. As long as we have enough in common in general and can understand each other such as sharing a sense of humour does it matter if they like all the same things as me.
They might like something I might come to find interesting in the future but may not have thought about trying yet.
I do know I am not going to get on with the clubbers though.
As to the stone tools, I'd like to make some, to use in my art work when I get around to it. Lately I have been doing the paleo diet but have been more focused on learning to play piano. I seem to have a thing for playing greensleeves.
I am not sure when settlers arrived in the UK but it was under ice for a while so it has only been in the last 20'000 years or so aye.
03 May 2014, 2:11 am
skibum wrote:
I am glad you don't feel like everyone here hates you because that is not the case at all. I am sorry that things are so rough for you though. What you wrote about is a lot for someone to have to deal with.
I don't know about how to advise you socially, I am not great at that myself but I will give you a great big hug because even if those other people you spoke about don't like you, I do.
I don't know about how to advise you socially, I am not great at that myself but I will give you a great big hug because even if those other people you spoke about don't like you, I do.
Thank you.
Hugs back to you.
03 May 2014, 2:17 am
bumble wrote:
Thank god I don't have epilepsy, I'd have had to undergo an exorcism as well along side my examination with a bodkin and various other torture devices to detect my 3rd nipple given to me by the antichrist.
I should just go find a different culture to live in I think. One more compatible with my beliefs or my particular style of thinking.
I couldn't identify with you more and I can't imagine ever hating you, but I must admit I find the flow of your writing online tough for me to follow (perhaps in dramatic contrast to what you or I might observe were you sitting in a cafe), mostly because my eyes keep jumping to gems like this. I can snark but DAMN can you snark. In a battle of snarks my snark would probably break off its' chain and cower in a hollow tree.
What I'm really saying here is, you say your communication in reality strikes you as the opposite of your writing, but I see such intense colinearity in your writing that I think your speech must have more ring to it than you're suggesting. As long as you still refuse to trust your brain, start with friends perhaps, but at least trust your tongue!
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
Last edited by cberg on 03 May 2014, 2:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
03 May 2014, 2:23 am
Also; hugs. Hugs are a renewable resource...
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
03 May 2014, 3:38 am
Bumble wrote:
Quote:
I was thinking about joining a kayaking group, climbing club, riding school, amateur dramatics groups and the local geological organisation.
Thats a good idea.go out have some fun for yourself,you will have a better chance of finding someone you like there compared to the bar/club scene
You might have to learn to not care so much what people think of you and how they see you.if people cant accept you for who you are than there not worth your time.
As far as the spammers,forget them.they obviously hold their interests/feelings above your own and you don't need that.if it hurts them to not hurt your self than too bad for them they'll find someone suited for them as you will too.you just haven't found the right person yet.
You can say one thing ten different ways and get ten different responses.i don't speak much but if i say things like i thought of them it may come out as condescending or arrogant.i have tried to keep this in mind and adjust accordingly.it could maybe help in your case.
I don't know if things have changed over the years in the dating front(haven't tried in 12 years) but i have always believed in taking time to get to know the person like you do and if you want info it will come with time,ref. to those who want it right away(in your case).maybe tv has skewered their minds to sex/dating/promiscuity.i have always been a little more old fashioned in that sense and did see it less in the past,probably even less now.
Are your standards/expectations too high.i often expect people to think like me or to live up to my beliefs/standards and have to realize most people cant reach them.maybe this could be something to work on
I cant help with the therapy.I'm an ocean away and have a hard time getting any for my self Its not like i really try though it will be very stressful
I could probably go on but its 4:30am and have to get some rest.i hope this is not too cliche. reading this thread nearly brought me to tears and i felt the need to at least try to help
03 May 2014, 5:26 am
bumble wrote:
Wont anyone on this site help me?
Why do you hate me?
Why do you hate me?
But I don't hate you.
Why do I always give people the idea that I hate them? I didn't know that people on this forum had that impression as well. I guess I don't give that impression only to NTs. But I have never had this kind of trouble with autistic people IRL. Online I have this trouble with anyone though. Here's why I prefer real life interaction.
Anyway, really, I don't hate you. It would be stupid if I did. I don't even know you.
I might sound rude in many of my posts, but that's because I can't help it. It's not an excuse. I can't realize it when I'm being rude or offensive. If I ever was to you, it was not my intention. Expecially when I'm angry/sad I tend to post whatever comes to my mind and I can't realize I'm being rude.
I'm sorry if I ever sounded rude towards you.
However, I don't think that the people on this forum are so idiotic that they would hate someone they only know online because of who knows what reason. This is a forum for people with autism and people with autism have this symptom: they might offend people without realing it. So you shouldn't really think people on here hate you because of that symptom. Maybe it's a symptom you do not have, but others like me have it and they really can't help it. They don't do it with the intention to offend.
03 May 2014, 6:46 am
cberg wrote:
bumble wrote:
Thank god I don't have epilepsy, I'd have had to undergo an exorcism as well along side my examination with a bodkin and various other torture devices to detect my 3rd nipple given to me by the antichrist.
I should just go find a different culture to live in I think. One more compatible with my beliefs or my particular style of thinking.
I couldn't identify with you more and I can't imagine ever hating you, but I must admit I find the flow of your writing online tough for me to follow (perhaps in dramatic contrast to what you or I might observe were you sitting in a cafe), mostly because my eyes keep jumping to gems like this. I can snark but DAMN can you snark. In a battle of snarks my snark would probably break off its' chain and cower in a hollow tree.
What I'm really saying here is, you say your communication in reality strikes you as the opposite of your writing, but I see such intense colinearity in your writing that I think your speech must have more ring to it than you're suggesting. As long as you still refuse to trust your brain, start with friends perhaps, but at least trust your tongue!
I don't know, I am actually a fairly strong writer. I used to write poetry and had some published although it was many years ago now. My English teacher at college wanted me to become a journalist and spent nearly an entire year trying to get me to talk to a journalist friend of hers about going into the profession. At that time I declined though as I had my heart set on a becoming a psychologist instead.
I scorn at the psychology profession now as it has become over simplified and doesn't seem to be equipped to understand how my mind works (I can explain it to them but they don't give me long enough appointments or let me go into enough detail). CbT is particularly useless unless you think like the earthly equivalent of the borg.
Society will make you join in with them and their belief systems. They will rewire your brain with their chemicals, electricity and brainwashing via therapy until you are a fully fledged member of the collective.
Resistance is futile you know.
Unless you are a billionaire and can afford to buy your own deserted island to live on or can live out in the middle of nowhere in a wigwam or straw hut and go back to the days of the hunter gatherer.
Neither of those are possibilities for me though (short of winning the lottery) so here I am, stuck here, venting about society and it's s**t.
I am 7 of 83666 squared
03 May 2014, 9:51 am
Hi Bumble again.
They have Paleoanthropological "groups" in Yahoo. Perhaps you might want to partake within those? Then you could discuss the real (as in the diet eaten by Cro-Magnon-type men) Paleolithic Diet.
Neanderthals, and the transition/nontransition to Homo sapiens sapiens was, (and still is, to some extent) a "special interest of mine."
It's weird LOL...but I think some of the most beautiful tools were of the Acheulean Culture (Lower Paleolithic, Lower Pleistocene, approximately 250,000 to a bit over 1,000,000 years BCE).
It takes real ability to make Upper Paleolithic tools, I believe, Especially if they're made of bone.
Have you beheld the Venus sculptures of the Paleolithic? Interesting Freudian imagery. Some of them are close to 30,000 years old.
I hope you are doing better today.
03 May 2014, 10:07 am
I also like the idea of you joining a kayaking group too. I love kayaking because you can be with the group and by yourself at the same time and the water is really therapeutic and beautiful.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
