How I was able to cope with my Aspergers and find a wife.

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I'm still thinking lots of shared time, activities and talk are key in relationships.

Out of curiosity, how many times have you been married?

Yes you are absolutely right. Everything I said is only there to help know what activities that person may like, and how to talk so it is easier and funner to spend time together.

I have only been married for 2 years, I'm only 22 and she only the only girl I've been with or dated. I am also the only guy she has ever slept with. I wanted to make sure I would find that right person and not make a mistake. Yes talking and spending time is how you build a relationship, but for me recognizing how people are quicker, I can see the things that most other people would only see after months of talking with that person. I waited until I met the person who personality and interests fit what I was looking for (because I actually knew EXACTLY what to look for.

I know that since we've been together I have never once regretted my choice. (also its nice because I know why she does certain things that other people wouldn't understand)

I think either one is fine.

What doesn't work, is where the person awkwardly pauses while he or she is trying to think of the "right" thing to say.

Invented scenarios are not evidence.

Dude.
When REAL scientists keep getting information that contradicts their hypothesis, they adapt said hypothesis. They don't keep trying to explain away the information.

You also inevitably have a sample size issue with this kind of account. Anybody setting out to generalize from experience has to be on guard against many potential errors.

It might be better to report such experience as autobiography than try to draw too many conclusions for others from this kind of experience.

pooling experiences with others may be more helpful, and you see some of that here on WP all the time: this is how this is for me, is it like that for anyone else. The spectrum is diverse, so the answers usually surprise the questioner. Then you get the "you can't really be autistic because your experience differs from mine" or "that can't be possible because it would imply a grey area about something that I see in black and white terms" that we see a lot on WP.

I think the OP's account is interesting. I think the women with whom I have had the deepest and most meaningful collections would have found such an approach insultingly reductive, but I could be wrong. I will ask a bit and report back.

Wow this is more phishing nonsense! Where are the mods? There is NO secret information... period!

I finally got a good relationship when I stopped trying to date NT guys, and dated a neurodiverse guy who is on the spectrum who also has family that has bipolar. It's like finally there are so many things I no longer have to explain because he just understands.

Also not just autistic guy but someone who also has the same attitude as me toward authority and doing things yourself. Also looking out side of my age range and just finding whoever clicked with me, as my BF is much older than I am.

I feel almost done with this topic anyways. Perhaps I said good things about it because of how much I felt I owed to it because of what it did for me. Can't I show off something I had success with? I wouldn't really say the information is secret, more just the psychological part that many people just never bother to find out. Yes I recommend it, and if you read the thread I even offered to let people use my account for free so people wouldn't have to pay for it. Stop judging so fast please.

you are probably right. I see very black and white also, only one correct answer (can be dependent on the person though). The things I dislike the most are when people simply dismiss an argument/conversation/debate just because their idea is "you cant say that that's stereotypical" (something being a stereotype has no impact on a fact being true or false) or playing devils advocate ONLY to dismiss whatever was suggested "I know a girl who doesn't talk like that so everything is untrue!" (People all different, because IF someone I know is a murderer it doesn't mean that is how the majority of the world are) with psychology there CAN be exceptions, and nothing is 100%.

Why im not changing my beliefs is because im saying things I experienced, not just hypotheticals. I have seen how much of a role understanding female psychology helped in my life, and a simple argument made on here would never make change that belief.

Pretend with me for a little bit to know how im feeling. Pretend that I just went paintballing, and NO ONE else has ever done paintballing before or heard of it in their life. I feel like im on here telling a story about how I went paintballing, how all these events happened, but people don't believe it because they have never heard of a marker shooting paint at people before. instead people just think that something else happened that they could relate too to make it easier on their minds.

Big difference between paint and girls, but still this is something I actually experienced. That is all the proof I would ever need to know it will work, and even though other people don't understand female psychology, they just choose to revert back to what they know, so they argue this point to make it something they can understand even though its not right.

That is either some pretty developed sophistry or a category error.

You can't say that seeing things as many shades of grey is an example of black and white thinking because the grey-seeing people won't just accept that things are black and white. That's seriously twisted reasoning!

You could just say, hey, it worked for me, ymmv, or something to that effect. Insistence that it must be true and that other people are somehow being unfair makes it seem more probable that the OP was spam-in-sheep's clothing.

Since you mentioned girls with tattoos, I would like show you this video about "Tattoo Discrimination". She is a person I like on youtube, she is "goth", and has 2 vlog channels, and as far as I know she is the way she describes in the video (i.e. doesn't party or drink etc). Keep in mind that she has a good sense of humour, so she is also trying to be funny in the video. (p.s. she cusses a few times, more than her usual in this video, hopefully you won't judge her for this, she seems like a really nice person)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERRfln89kso[/youtube]

Also here is another of her videos, just for fun, a humoristic one about "Autocorrect phone call" (as when you are texting and your phone autocorrects your words, something like this happened to me and my husband, it was very funny)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfV5GxleYQo[/youtube]

One more note, I also have a cousin who has quite a few tattoos, she is 30 (or so), and has been with the same man since she was 18 year old, and they have 2 children together.

I could be wrong, but I think a part of you may think that I consider girls with tattoos to be a bad thing. If you watch that girls personality you can see that she is great at casting blame or justifying (whether correct or not) look at how she talks and the tone of her voice, Yes I agree that there is tattoo discrimination, but people don't actually look at the psychological motives as to why. Yes she doesn't smoke, and rarely drinks, but I only said the type of girl that values sex as a fun thing usually has those things. She justifies everything and has multiple tattoos, and uses language freely, that is enough for me to make that conclusion.

That girl in the video if I would describe her would be a Cinderella type of girl. The kind that wears her heart on her sleeves, generally gets along better with female friends, as sees sex as a great fun thing in a relationship, but WANTS a serious relationship (as long as she thinks it is serious she would have no problems having sex on the first date) She is an idealist a girly girl(at heart), who values and loves the idea of marriage and supporting a husband.

I never was trying to say that if A girl thinks sex is more fun then sacred that that is a bad thing, people in the world are very different. Just remember how Sherlock Holmes makes grand observations about small details, reading people can be a talent. I know I can't prove this girls personality (unless you know her), but I can tell you that I am 90% confident in everything I said about her.

Heres another way of seeing it I look at all the signs that could be there of someone who treats sex as a fun thing

smoking
drugs
risk taker
tattoos
justifies
cast blame on others
rebels against her religion

And the type of girl that treats sex as sacred

blames herself more then others
chooses not to talk about problems
plays everything safe
religious


I then look at the girl who I want to know about, and see which side her personality leans more towards. Its possible to have parts of both categories, but 99% of the time, a girl leans more to one side then the other. Because every girl is different, everything must be compared. So being a smoker may not mean anything as a whole, but being a smoker justifying everything, and taking risks is enough for me to make a correct decision.

*edit also its important to notice other things like if a girl says she is religious but makes a lot of choices against her religion, take that into consideration

Honestly I don't know what you mean by "sex is fun" and "sex is sacred", as if a person couldn't consider it both fun and sacred, why should one exclude the other? I have no idea if Leah would have sex with a man on the first night or not, but I really think you shouldn't jump to conclusions about her. I also warned you about her language in the video, usually she doesn't cuss that much at all, she was trying to be funny.

And she doesn't blame others for her tattoos, she blames them for prejudices against tattoos, for jumping to conclusions about her personality. She actually doesn't have to justify anything, there is nothing wrong about a person who likes tattoos. I don't have tattoos myself, but I think it is a form of art, and a way that people express themselves. She also even mentions that she understands that some type of businesses don't want their employees to have visible tattoos and she doesn't blame them for that.

And I don't know whether you are right about everything you said about her, but you seem to see quite a lot within such a short video, and this is a very neurotypical thing to be able to read people's personalities like that.