do you ever feel that people think your a fraud?

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I've never been called a fraud, but I've had people who've said that they don't care that I have AS. It's a double-edged sword, since on one hand that means they treat me like an NT...but on the other, they won't accept the problems associated with the syndrome as an excuse.

Like the OP, I find one of the biggest problems is explaining it. The problems aren't as noticable as, say, a physical deformallity or a mental problem as broadly defined as depression, but the reality is that a lot of the problems with the syndrome are nuances that anyone else would take for granted...things like proper facial expressions, eye contact, motor skills, and the like. They don't realise that the syndrome is defined by the lack of such nuances.

'Tho I was diagnosed as an Aspie I feel some - mild - guilt as my younger brother is retaded and autistic " for real " in a " childlike " manner living in a - nice - better off materially than I am ! !! !! - group home and tho my parents are gone I feel some vague "how can you say you're autistic now your brother that's REAL autistic".
Howeve I do think that it's true.

Hank, don't let your parents make you feel guility because they don't understand your problems. The fact that your brother has more symptoms doesn't diminish yours. It is a lot easier to try to make someone feel guility than to truly understand. NTs need to be hit over the head - as in seeing a child who is very low-functioning - to emphathize, if they're asked to empathize with someone who is experiencing something beyond their personal experience. They have a limited imagination.

The fact that I was top of my class without comprehending most of the concepts we dealt with (and being unable to explain them to others when the teacher instructed me to do so, since I was already proficient in the subject matter), and that even the kids who were constantly on the verge of failing their classes still remembered and understood these concepts when they were picked up again at a later date (whereas I didn't even recognise the terms used to describe them) rather speaks against that claim.

My memory and thinking are mostly spatial and kinetic, at least my conscious memory is. I can remember the layout of almost every house or city I have ever been to since I was a toddler (and can navigate them almost blindly), I remember the feel and texture of my toys from when I was 6 months old, the sensory excitement of staring at a sparkly reflecting toy when I was six etc. but when it comes to things that are "labelled" with words, I struggle immensely to recall consciously even the most basic things as long as I have to recall them while at the same time consciously relating to the subject matter. (For example I can recall birthdays and phone numbers easily, unless I have to recall them in the context of say a conversation about MY phone number or in relation to the person whose birthday it is)

Strangely enough I seem very able at remembering strings of more nonsensical data, such as am 8 character password made up of random characters (%# etc.), numbers and letters, after typing them two or three times.

In tests, I could parrot things when prompted (more easily so when prompted visually, in writing etc.) but have no recollection of either the questions or the answers I gave, unless I explicitly wrote them down for later perusage. *Everyone else* in class used to come out of tests and chatter to each other about their results without having to write them down. So it seems highly unlikely that "everyone is that way".

Most people from my old school think that every thing I do is fake and for attention. But,then again,the majority of them were pricks and idiots,anyway.

-SpaceCase

You're right. I guess I thought too much about what you said in the last sentence. 8-(
That is ODD though. I think you are the first here to mention that.



Again, I am sorry about saying what I did. Have you seen a nuerologist? It could ALSO be due to stress. I HAVE had that problem, and THAT everyone DOES have, of course some people perceive stress as being worse than others.

Steve

I know what you mean...my mom is the only one who knew that I was on the specturm, and she works with autistic children. But my little sister still refuses to even discuss it. In her words: "Whoever diagnosed you with that is stupid." Thanks for the validation, sis.

The people I tell claim to understand and then get upset with me when I don't act "normal"-- so what's the point in telling them? Telling someone you have issues with certain things doesn't mean you can suddenly control those issues.

Very well described! I can relate to your comments

I get the same thing from friends I have told. The ones I have known for years swear I am not autistic. Then I told a couple people I didn't know to well and now they treat me like a ret*d.

I do feel like a fraud because I feel like I go through life faking it. My dr even told me I was a bad, bad Aspie and and a total fake. She only had it half right. For instance my dr tells me since I am Aspie I do not care for others. That is false. I can't speak for all Aspies only myself. I do care for others, sometimes even strangers however I do not know how to express my caring in words, expression or body language. If I try to it doesn't sound the same as when an NT does it. I do things like pray every time I see a ambulance zoom by with its siren blaring. I pray for people in bad predicaments that I see on tv. One time I remember telling a teacher when I was in high school that I was sad because one of my fave rock stars was having heart surgery that day. She said I was totally stupid to care about someone I don't even know. Hmm I always thought people that felt compassion for others were better people not stupid. I've still never figured out if I am stupid for caring for strangers so I keep praying a secret.

I wonder somethings if my "problem" or at least part of it stems from being raised by parents who are most likely on the spectrum especially my mom who seems supremely messed up. Like maybe NTs learn the whole expressiveness and body language thing when they are tiny babies from their moms. My mom was never very expressive except for being angry a lot. She doesn't seem to use body language much nor does she express compassion very well. So sometimes I even wonder did I become autistic after birth from lack of proper raising? Honestly my mom got so bad that I raised myself for the most part. My dad was always busy working multiple jobs and avoiding mom. Can't blame him at all. So when my dr complained about me I wished I had said "Sorry I had to raise myself and can't help if I didn't do a good enough job". I constantly analyze every nanosecond because that is the only way I can survive in this world.

So I think my dr was wrong when she told me I don't care about others. I do care I just don't know how to express it in a way that doesn't cause me to get ridiculed. I do loathe the fakiness of much social chatter as in complimenting someone when what you are saying is a lie. I mean some women will just squeal and go on over another lady's new blouse like they had never seen a new shirt before in their lives. THat's one thing about being a woman I hate is that femaleness requires a lot of exaggerated faking.

Amen.

People don't think me a liar. I'm known for my honesty and people tend to take my word at face value.

I have a similar problem with some of the people in my life. A couple of the people I've told about my Asperger's insist that there's nothing different about me and that I'm imagining it. Then when I have a meltdown in a shopping mall or fail to understand them or can't stop talking about some obsession or avoid social contact for weeks at a time or display some stunning lack of normal executive functioning, they ask, "What is WRONG with you?!"

LOL! I've been going through a phase for 38 years........

Please DO!! !! !! !! Post those...I need them........

For me it's on a need to know basis.
I rarely tel people unless it's absolutely required.
Like my girlfriend she has to know.

I never would use it as an excuse for the condition i am in.
Even though i know it contributes to that.
It will only end up in self pitty and blaming everything but yourself for your problems.
I think it's best to give it your best shot to overcome your problems.
I would never like to have people feel oh hes so unlucky oh hes such a victim.

So what it comes down to is that you should just try to make the best of your life and not tel people generally.

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...My parents are long dead , I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear enough . I'm in my 40s .

ote="SeriousGirl"]

Hank, don't let your parents make you feel guility because they don't understand your problems. The fact that your brother has more symptoms doesn't diminish yours. It is a lot easier to try to make someone feel guility than to truly understand. NTs need to be hit over the head - as in seeing a child who is very low-functioning - to emphathize, if they're asked to empathize with someone who is experiencing something beyond their personal experience. They have a limited imagination. [/quote]