For those who believe Asperger's/Autism is some sort of gift

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"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"

To me it is both. There are days that I really hate it, when it takes every ounce of effort to bend my mind to work the way I need it too. But there are also days that I love it, where I relish just completely losing myself in my interest of the moment. And there are days where it is neither, it just is.

I don't think many really think ASD is just all sunshine and rainbows. There are a lot of challenges, even for those of us who are most minimally impacted by it. I think a lot of the positivity is just more of a reaction to all of the other negative messages we get about how ASD is just an awful, awful, awful thing and how much we should hate, hate, hate it, etc...

It's frustrating enough to have to deal with just the base level of negativity and people telling I ought to feel worse about this than I do. I'm certainly not going to give them the ammunition to do it even more.

Edit: I also wonder if there might be some disconnect here between those who were diagnosed as children and those who were diagnosed later in life. For me, diagnosis was a relief. It was an explanation of so many things I didn't understand. It was a mechanism by which I could learn to just accept myself, shortcomings and all, as who I am, rather than continually trying to cram myself into the mold those around me want me to be.

I guess, in a way, I kind of view my autism like I view my receding hairline. Objectively speaking, it would probably be easier to have a lush, full head of hair. But that was not the hand I was dealt. So I can either spend enormous amounts of time, money, and resources to try and change that (often with plenty of other negative side effects). Or I can learn to accept myself and move forward in my life, occasionally enjoying the small benefits that it does bring (~$20/month saved on haircuts, for one). The latter is far more preferable to the former, in my experience. And it's comforting to be able too look around and see others like me and at least know that I'm not alone in this.

I suppose it's like that whole, "The grass is greener" saying, to think NT's have it so much better. No one has a pain free easy life. They have their own problems to deal with. They get anxiety too, they get depressed too, they can even have sensory problems. They could live in a place that treats them like crap because of what they look like or how they believe or any other number of problems.

I like the way I can see the world. I like being able to see all the bad and crap, and see all the beauty in it too. I like being able to look at someone and see that they aren't bad, nor are they good, they just are. Like seeing Hitler as a person rather than an evil person, and understanding that while what he did was wrong, I can see where his mind was. I can see where Gandhi was, how he probably felt. Or Mother Theresa, or any other person. They're all just human to me, and everyone is equal to me. Humans are so fascinating and complex and no two people are alike. Even though I have a hard time communicating with them, and sometimes I do just want to nuke the world, ultimately I love life, and I love my apparently unique view and can appreciate people who think differently.

I love diversity. I don't want to lose myself and lose how I think or how I see all the things in the world... I've spent 30 years in this body, and while it's not doing so well, I don't want a new body (or mind) with new problems to deal with. It'd probably take me another 30 years to figure that one out!

Of course ASD is both gifts and curses albeit quite different ones. As for the "Aspie Supremacists, wannabees, or those who think ASD is only a gift IMHO it is an overreaction to constant lifelong negative feedback to who they are. That is an explanation, not an an excuse. What I do find inexcusable is that those of us who identify as aspie, or look at the positive side have been SUCCESSFULLY defined in the autism community as delusional supremacist/wannabees who deep down believe ourselves to be only cursed by ASD

How am I supposed to be positive about having Asperger's Syndrome when it's brought so many negative consequences in my life without choice?

You don't have to. I think that's one of the things a lot of people have been saying. Your experiences are entirely your own so if you see it as a negative trait then it is. Just because other people enjoy being autistic doesn't mean you have to also.

Some of us are just struggling to get by, these supposed gifts don't mean much when you hate almost everything about your life. There are momentary distractions but even those are fleeting in their enjoyment for me. Either I improve or I die, there is no amount of coming to terms with myself in this moment that would allow me to be happy. Living in virtual solitude, not having a job, car, not having almost any life worth living is unbearable. Look at the numbers, its a horrific disability.

I might recommend reading some philosophy, specifically Stoicism or Buddhism. Good and bad, positive and negative, these are perceptions. They exist solely within our minds. And what exists within the mind can, for the most part, be controlled by the mind.

You say yourself you have no choice in having AS. So what good does it do you to hate it? You might as well shout at the sky when it rains for all the good it does. That which is truly outside our control is neither good nor bad, it just is. Dwelling on how we wish it were different only brings us misery.

I agree with where you say that dwelling on how we wish it were different brings is misery. And Misery loves company. Now that I think of it, where is Misery? I would have expected her to reply on this thread by now.

This is what I eventually did, accepted that people will judge me no matter how I am, and that these thoughts and feelings and everything I experience are part of me, and have made me who I am. It took years to get to this point, but accepting who I am helped me so much. I can't really describe it very well, but reading philosophy, especially Buddhism, helped.

Hey everyone, thanks for all the replies.

First, I would like to start by stating that I found interesting how different everyone's view is. Some here really seem to enjoy being on the spectrum and even seems like they want to be on the deeper end. While some on here, like myself, hate having it and have found little/zero positiveness to it, and understand exactly where I'm coming from.

One thing that I'm still not understanding are those who say it's a gift and a curse, so please explain exactly where that's coming from, because it doesn't make any sense to me.

You could be a gifted engineer, yet not be able to ask girls out--all because of your Asperger's.

A gift, and a curse.

What is the purpose of being a gifted engineer if you can't be happy? It's more tragic than anything, a waste.

Some people are happy being gifted engineers. Happiness is not a binary, zero-sum thing. Many things in life bring happiness, and many things bring sadness. The two don't completely cancel each other out.

LOL...I was just giving examples of how Asperger's could be both a gift and curse.

I wish I were a gifted engineer myself! As it stands now, all I'm gifted at is talking crap!

Maybe take a look at how many of those things are really caused by Asperger's Syndrome, as opposed to things caused by NT intolerance and societal barriers.

In my case, the social issues, executive dysfunction and sensory issues all cause me some degree of distress. But in a more AS-friendly society, the social issues would be nonexistent and the ED and sensory issues would be much less distressing. Meanwhile, the good things AS has brought me (intense interests, stimming and cognitive strengths) would be present regardless of society, and would probably have brought me even more joy if I lived in a society designed to accommodate AS.

If a trait is only a problem when other people force you into a context where it becomes a problem, then maybe the other people are the problem, not that trait.

I dunno, maybe it's the sexual abuse counseling I got, but I learnt at a young age that if others treat me badly when I'm trying to be nice, they're the ones who have a problem.

So happiness is dependent upon asking girls out? I'm confused.
I'm happy because I can be good at my art. Just because I have depression and am not good at socializing doesn't mean I can't find happiness elsewhere. Besides, it's the jerks of the world that make me unhappy, not myself.