developmnt disabilty group home

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Faith,
that home might be worth trying,they should offer chance to stay over for a night or go there for dinner to see what it is like,if like me?am?-and not able to stay somewhere overnight without own stuff/surroundings,going on day visits there will help get to know the people,staff and place-it also builds up a routine.
Make sure staff dont treat the person like a useless person and know signing/makaton [if are a signer],they will probably make a plan out with the person on what tasks and things want to do.

Have lived in a residential home with other Auts and LDers,but now live in a group home,and it is so much better,
more independance,nicer place,bettering skills and getting better support because there are less people in group homes,person might get one to one support,depending on needs,am on one to one,but have known others who have up to two to one support,people who do not get own support have to go with everyone else,so might have to go to places they dont like or cannot cope with well.
If having problems at family home,it can be far better to get out,moving out can often improve things with family who might be bad to person or argue all the time.

They are not allowed to keep back money unless it has been told by the court,if the home knows that faith does not understand money/has some sort of problem with it,they will look after it for faith in a safe,and will give it to her when she goes out,or the support worker if faith doesnt carry it-they can advise on when enough is enough but cannot stop from using it,am not into legal things but thats how it works here.
They will have to have receits of every bit of spending for when the accountants check up though.

Faith,it doesnt matter about spelling-people are able to read own posts even with non perfect spelling so it okay,not like it is that phone/chatroom text talk.

Faith,
They may also allow weekend visits. Then you could get a feel for how things work overnight and also give parents a chance to see how it fits. They will take some of your social security for "rent" Do you, can you work? You can make some $$ and not lose all of your benefits but should give you more spending $$.

You're right, but it isn't just spelling. Her competence could be suspect and, if she isn't found competent, the law will FORBID paying her! She would be a ward of the court, and have a guardian look after her in certain areas.

Steve

Drop the money thing I don't think that is what she is asking. I agree with the KingdomOfRats and SeriousGirl. Personally I wouldn't like my personal space invaded, I would need to be somewhere I felt comfortable. I don't like living with my folks but personally I've lived in dorms and stuff and it was horrible.

stevek i dont undestand saying abot the court. and what comptence is ?

These are two forms of competency:

One is being adjudicated incompetent and the court assigns a guardian usually a family member. This must be determined with reports from doctors concerning your competence. There can be different levels of trust given to the guardian. The guardian must file papers yearly to maintain the guardianship or the court may choose to shift it to someone else if they do not do so.

Then the is a court issue when you are arrested and you are/may be found incompetent to understand proceedings. This means that you need competency training to understand what is going on in court. If found incompetent to understand court proceedings you may be required to take training and return to court or it may be decided that you will never understand, and charges could be dropped. Usually with some court ordered counseling put into place depending on the charges.

Faith, I think that you should do two things:

1.) Find out what happens if you don't like the group home. What are your options for leaving.

2.) Find out like it has been suggested, if you could go for a few days, to see how you like it, before moving in full time.

It sounds like you do need help and support, and if the case worker says that this is a place that can do that for you, and you can be yourself, it sounds like it may be a great thing! Staying at home with stressed out parents is not going to be a good thing. They love you, believe that, but if they have not found a way to cope in 19 years without yelling and being upset, and they want you to go to a group home, then they probably are not up to changing now.

You are only 19, this is just the first step for you to independant living. Maybe in awhile, you will learn enough skills to live on your own, IF you don't like the group home. It sounds like you want to try it, but are nervous. If you find out by asking the two above questions, that you can leave if you don't like it, then you have nothing to loose and only good things to gain by trying it out.

Also, I know writting is hard! My son has a really hard time writting, and I did when I was younger. My spelling is still really bad. Looking for help for my son, I have found a couple computer programs that may really help you! And they are VERY simple to use.

One is called WordQ. It helps you write words by predicting what you want to say next. You can use it in a word processer, your email, or even in this posting box! (it worked for me when I was trying it!)

The other program is called SpeakQ. It works with WordQ, and it is a voice recognition program, also VERY simple to use. You just talk to it, and it writes down what you are saying! You may need someone to help you learn the program, but my 12 year old learned both in just a few hours!

These programs both have a 30 day free trial at www.wordq.com (click on downloads). After, they are expensive, however if you like them, talk to your case worker, you may be able to get disability to pay for them!

There is another program that is even simpler to write sentences, it is for younger kids, 4 to 10 years old. It is called Clicker 5. However, it may be too simple for you!

Best of luck!

Earth calling... Thank-you. Those programs may be paid for by Vocatioal rehabiltation to assist Faith in finding employment. Persons needing this can apply at the local VR office. This may be done through the case manager.

I might also suggest that Faith look at 3 different group homes. Often visitors are fine maybe for dinner? Then a couple overnights (called repite for billing purposes) when she finds the one she feels fits. Beware, sometimes the case manager works for a company that owns the group homes, and may be funneling business to that group home. So I think it is a good idea to interview some different providers.

Good luck Faith, though scary it is a good step for further independence.

I think, even if she is not looking for employment, they would just help overall with her confidence and how she interacts with the world. I also have a feeling that Faith is indeed, more intellegent then she thinks, but perhaps has not had all the tools and support she really needs to reach her full potential!

I like the idea of looking at 3 group homes too. It is good to warn that their may be another "motive" for the caseworker, although if you look over Faiths posts from the past, it sounds like this is indeed, the best option for her. Her parents seem to really missunderstand her, she does not feel free to do things like hand flapping around them! Also, I don't get the impression she "wants" to live alone. That sort of sudden isolation for a 19 year old girl could be very scary in its own right! A group home like this, and outside services may put her into touch with people she can make friends with! At the very least, keep her company. I had a step mother who worked in a Group Home. Honestly, the homes residents lived like kings! It was a fabulous program. Yes, there are some terrible ones out there, but there are some really good ones too. You just don't know until you try!

Faith: Again I just want to say "good luck". I really think this sounds like the best option for you right now, just see if you can check out the home first, and if you can leave later on if you don't like it!

I wouldn't go in the group home for many reasons. The main one is its just like nursing homes where people, both male and female, get raped and abused. You are the same as in lockdown and not allowed to leave and you are at the mercy of your captors in that situation. I find for myself when I am around lower functioning autistics or aspies I get worse in behavior and verbal functioning. Nutbag explained it to me its the same as playing golf and how you should never play with a worse golfer than yourself. Being around those that are not of the same or better functioning level sort of dumbs you down. So I would be afraid you would not learn new abilities if you get institutionalized among less functioning people. Also if you have someone else in charge of your life and finances they will often try to get you institutionalized so they can keep your money.

If your parents would help you I would look into finding another Aspie you can live with or even a college sociology student who is wanting to work with autistics. They can help look after you a bit and you can learn living skills from them. Do you belong to a local autism group? You should find some others like you nearby ~quickly.

Looking at other options is always a good thing, and like I said, it is important to make sure that Faith can check herself out at any point in time. However, that said, it does sound like she needs some form of assisted living at this time. Maybe she can find a "sociology student" but I am not sure that I would be comfortable being someone elses "experiment". And where does this leave her? When the "project is over" is she tossed aside, or passed around like a guinea pig to the next "student?" I can't help but think this would not be a good thing.

If you read over Faiths previous posts, she says they think she has the mental capacity of a 9 or 10 year old, (I don't know if that is true, I have a feeling it isn't, and she is capable of much more, but we need to respect that right now, she is probably not ready to live on her own). It does not sound like she wants to live on her own either.

And, if you look into her past posts, it sounds like she is having a LOT of trouble with mom and dad. Staying at home is not a healthy environment, and mom and dad are not capable of taking care of her or understanding her. She says she tries not to "flap her hands ... especially around her parents!"

I don't think they are evil, or badly intentioned, (they love you faith) but they just are not emotionally or mentally equipped to deliver to her what she needs.

Faith, would you be interested in looking at another facility somewhere else in you state? Or far away from home? Maybe there is some sort of assisted living program that is more like independant living with support. You get your own apartment, but there is support to help you with money, housecleaing, and a place to socialize with others with mild intellectual impairments...

Look I didn't mean for Faith to be a sociology experiment. What I meant is typically college sociology students pursue specific fields and believe it or not some of them chose autism. Those students typically do all kinds of volunteer work with the autistic so they can gain experience on how to deal with us. So if you find one of those students they need a place to live too. So you could get an apartment together and they could help the autistic person learn life skills. If you get a Phd student it takes them years to earn their degree so you can live with them for years and then they could help find you a new roommate if they decide to move away. Who knows after a few years the person might learn enough life skills to live on their own.

We have a lot of sociology students attend our autism society meetings because they are trying to learn about us.

Even if you can check yourself in and out of a group home that still doesn't stop a person from getting raped and abused there. If a person admits to or has documentation saying they have only a 10 yr olds capacity level it is unlikely they would be given the right to check themselves out of an institution. Basically they are the same as being in jail.

If Faith doesn't want to do the sociology student thing she should find some other Autistic females to be roommates with in their own apartment not a group home.

Hopefully I'll never be in that sort of situation where I can't look after myself. If I ever get like that, life won't be worth living.

Keep yourself out of a group-home though. We have criminal records checks in Britain now to stop rapists and predatory people getting into those positions of power where they can hurt people. I wouldn't trust it though. If nothing else, it's very important that you don't just hand control of yourself over to someone else. The best thing you can do is look for someone to look after you. Keep out of a 'home' at all costs.

We have really wonderful group homes and supported living situations here. I also set up situations with roommates that are paid staff and believe me we do a level 2 FBI check on everyone and I will, and do, call staff in to the abuse line whenever I suspect any thing might be wrong. A lot of the supported living situations are 3-1 or 1-1. People are allowed to come and go as they please if able. You can stay home or go out with the group. Lock-downs facilities are infrequent unless needed for everyone's safety. Such as with predators or people who are a threat to themselves or others. The day of "institutions" are gone for now hopefully forever.

i could have klived in a grouphome here a year ago or so, but the rules of living there were rediculous, you had to be home before 10pm, if you worked you had to pay rent granted it wasnt alot but still, and i was going to live with two other dude who had major behaviour problems. like he would throw tvs and attack the staff and stuff. yeah no thanks!! group homes are evil/ plus i like to drink and toke up everyonce inawile, i know i wouldnt be able to do that there. also i was presribed some meds and i had to take them to live there. oh there was no way i was moving in

We have a small, group home somewhere in my neighborhood, but I've never actually been there.

PS: I think my family's house is the only group home I live in.

Last edited by roygerdodger on 16 Apr 2007, 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.