For those of you that are self diagnosed: how do you know?

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I didn't figure out I was an Aspie/ASD on this site, I figure out I had Asperger's Syndrome and found this site afterwards.

I once Googled an old GF who said she couldn't have kids. Turns out she got married, got a PhD, and had four kids, and one of them had this thing called Asperger's, and she said the other kids picked on him. I thought, huh, poor bastard, sort of like me, and thought nothing of it after that.

Then some later date, I had a problem with lying to the customer at work, I was in a room with 8 other people trying to get me to change and sign this report. One of them called me paranoid. After hours I looked up paranoid, and I came across that word Asperger's again. So I googled that, and, will, that's how the ball started rolling.

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(Added later)
Concerning why I don't get an official diagnosis. I was "in between opportunities" in other words unemployed. Learned something, the extension of medical coverage called COBRA is not a government thing, it really is your old company extending your benefits by you paying. The company was going out of business, so there couldn't be any COBRA, so I had to go apply for medical insurance for my family. I answered truthfully on the question of allergies and asthma, and as a result was denied medical coverage. Luckily IEEE had a group medical plan, and I was in IEEE long enough (two years), so I went with that.
So...if I never get an official diag, and can truthfully answer the question have you ever been diagnosed with ..... the answer will be no (lol since I never went to the doctor about it). Yeah that sounds screwed up but remember we are Aspies and don't like to lie.

My self diagnosis has been years in the making. I noticed the symptoms matched up with me a few years ago and even tried to get a diagnosis at one point only to be told by the resident "expert" on AS that I needed to do this $1500 psych evaluation and wasn't even willing to attempt a diagnosis beyond that I seemed "mildly depressed". My father however was a social worker in mental health for many years and did deal with it for a while. We talked and both agreed that it was almost a certainty that I had it.

I'd like to get an official diagnosis but living here in the middle of freaking Arkansas with all the country bumpkins who don't care about the spectrum beyond the age of 21 makes that extremely difficult.

I have Septo Optic Dysplasia, Optic Nerve Hypoplasia, and Hypopituitarism which have all been linked to autism. Also, I have many of the same symptoms associated with autism, so I figure I'm autistic.