Is it weird to go to restaurants with your parents at 19?

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Did you not notice the bolded part? By the time my parents or other family members are dead, I'll have gone to dinner with them countless times ... and I won't have had anybody else's company, ever, unless things change a lot, which won't be exactly easy. Feeling morally compelled to be happy with them as my sole company only makes it harder, and me sicker.

I do not appreciate your implication that I don't care about them. In fact, I'm old enough to have seen a few family members die, and it hadn't been long since I'd last spent time with them.

Meanwhile, no friends, no dates, no girlfriend, no real hobbies I could share with them, no chance of doing anything that might help me break out of my ever more consolidated social isolation, nothing, ever. Oh, but it doesn't matter, because I should be happy to have my family, right? Well, I'm not. I don't know what's so wrong about wanting to have what normal people basically take for granted. And I don't mean they don't have to earn their friendships and other relationships---I mean they can do it and aren't considered bad people for not devoting that time and energy to their families.

There's no need to feel compelled to enjoy being in public or private with your family. Some people have sh***y families.
There's also no need to feel compelled to enjoy your family if you wish more than life itself to just have the opportunity to enjoy other people. This would not be your family's fault necessarily.

The point is, if you enjoy family, then that's all that matters, ignore the haters that want to make your joy less.

Parents never change LOL and now that I am two generations into having kids, I am just as bad as my family. Try to enjoy it, and let the 'dad' things go if he starts sounding like one. Well, as long as it's not overbearing. We parent's will always see our offspring as our 'kids'. My daughter is 30. I've told her since she was little, she will always be my little girl. She understands. But puts me on notice if I go 'too dad' on her. I just want to fix everything. I just discovered my 38 year old son 3 years ago, so, he will always be a fully formed adult (and a good man to boot, kudos to his Mom and Dad).

And, happy birthday oh, Krafty one.

Why would that be weird?

Happy birthday Kraftie. You and I are close, my birthday was last week. And my parents still correct me at the table too and so does my oldest brother. It embarrasses me when my parents do it because there are usually others at those dinners. When I go out to lunch with my brother it's just him and me so I don't mind it then. And when the three of us go out, him, me and my husband, he'll correct my husband too. I love that!

it depends on the context.

Cooking with your mom means at least she trusts you to cook.

And what context is bad?

Food is food, I am not complaining with my parents taking me out.

My only problem has been that for the last year, my appetite has been near zero. So, everybody is on my case to 'eat more'. I eat. Just not as much. And, I'm not lethargic or anything negative, and I am full and content. But, since food and meals is such a common cultural social activity and near requirement in some, I have been dunned for not eating enough.

Yeah, OK, most "normal" 19-year-olds are too busy running around with their peers to make time to do ANYTHING with their parents (at least until they need money).

Feh. "Normal" is overrated.

I think it's pretty cool that you want to spend time with your folks. Bet they do, too.

I think you're lucky to have folks that you still enjoy spending time with.

Look at it this way-- You are doing at 19 what the "normal" kids will be doing in 10 years-- when they finally smarten up. Enjoy it.

Mine have actually taken the trouble to warn me verbally how screwed I am if I expect them ever to change.

Don't worry---there are always those who make up for it by having no contact with their peers outside school, never going out and not asking their parents for money unless it's absolutely necessary (read: for something school-related), and not without significant affliction.

I lived those years with the constant feeling that youngsters were inherently contemptible by virtue of being young, especially if they tried to enjoy their youth the tiniest bit, so the least I could do was to try to redeem my generation by letting my own youth go to waste.

Last edited by Spiderpig on 02 Jan 2016, 11:12 am, edited 2 times in total.

I am fortunate that way. If I go too far over the line, I get it from them. But, they also bend a bit too. It helps that my Father is an extreme version of myself and my brother is somewhere in between. I pity my mother who has to referee things when the three of us get together though. It's not always tension, but, it does get there.

No, it's not.

I still do at at 24. Hope I'm not too much of a weirdo, it's not like we live together, they just buy me lunch or dinner sometimes. What normal people do right?

Why ask others what's normal? How would they know!

Decide for yourself! Do whatever you want and live life according to your own standards.

Do you want to go out with your parents? If you do, well do it! Dance to the beat of your own drum!