What is that "link" between people

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nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:26 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

One thing I have to say is when I talk about a subject with Aspies they tend to pick the subject apart and I start to lose what the main question was in the beginning. Can you state what your particular question is again in regards to love?

My initial question was: "What is that link between people."

I got the response "love".
I think it can well be it.
As far as i am concerned, love is something i give as a conscious social activity, it doesn't come from / or is a feeling.

My question remains the same but may then sound like:
"what is this love feeling between people?" (apart from special physical attraction)

- Does it feel something similar to when you listen to a nice music and you love it?
- Is it feeling close to someone because that person is similar to you
(same living place, same ideas, same interests, same family, etc.?)
- Is it a choice, is it conscious?
- Or is it maybe derived from physical attraction, unconsciously

For me, when I love someone, I can't see myself living without them. Examples are like my Ma and Waldo. Both are so ingrained into my life that it will be hard to exist once they are gone. I will be permanently changed. It will feel like an actual part of me is gone and I won't be able to get it back. That kind of love I don't give to just anyone - even my closest friends. I think it's because I know that my friends can always leave me so I can't really put my complete trust in them. I've never been "in love" so I can't speak about how that would be, but I can say that my Hunny (if I had one) would be put in the same group as my Ma and Waldo.

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2016, 7:31 pm

Nope...I don't believe in arranged marriages.

It's true: people do "grow old" on each other when there are arranged marriages.

However, I am a firm believer in marrying for love.

I wouldn't make it on that show you're watching, Angela.

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13 Jan 2016, 7:33 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:

But, please, what does it have to do with love?

Love is the one thing that connects us all. IMHO

Just as love has many virtues attributed to it, so too are there many ways to express it.

You said that you "have no clue" about the ties that bind us all, the connection that forms the link, the bond that separates a "stranger" from a "friend". Understanding how you communicate with others, seemed like a good way to see just how many ways you might be able to express it, and possibly even understand it, alas...

"Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer."
- Rule of Acquisition 208 Or 209, I forget.

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Idealist wrote:

My Autism was cured/treated in late childhood (this makes me a walking, talking, contradiction to 90% of the Forum who all believe Autism is incurable)

goofygoobers
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13 Jan 2016, 7:38 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:

goofygoobers wrote:

I don't really connect with others, but it's different with me and my boyfriend. We connect over our shared desires, interests, and love for each other. We desire each other's presence and affection. To me, things people share and can bond over is that link.

It is funny how love and desire are so tightly linked.
They are so opposite: love is something you give to particular persons, desire is something you want to get from them.
Maybe love is always coming from desire.

Why can't it be both at the same time? I thought relationships were supposed to have reciprocation. When I think of it, reciprocation might be the link.

LaetiBlabla
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13 Jan 2016, 7:41 pm

nurseangela wrote:

For me, when I love someone, I can't see myself living without them.

Would you say that this dependence is necessary to maintain your love?
And may i ask if is it not uncomfortable to you to think that your life, kind of depend on the people you love?

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

So are you saying, Mr. K, that you couldn't fall in love with a woman who had the greatest personality ever, but was butt ugly? :mrgreen:

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

Idealist
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13 Jan 2016, 7:45 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

When I think of it, reciprocation might be the link.

You can feel connected/linked to another person without the feeling being reciprocated.

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Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment, but the last step on the path to salvation.

Idealist wrote:

My Autism was cured/treated in late childhood (this makes me a walking, talking, contradiction to 90% of the Forum who all believe Autism is incurable)

LaetiBlabla
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13 Jan 2016, 7:50 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

Maybe love is always coming from desire.

Why can't it be both at the same time? I thought relationships were supposed to have reciprocation. When I think of it, reciprocation might be the link.[/quote]

Reciprocation, yes might be the link behind "love".

I find love beautiful when you are not waiting for anything in return.
If you are waiting for something in return, it sounds more like a little market to me.

I have nothing against supermarkets, i go there everyday, but i don't call it love...

kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2016, 7:50 pm

I have had crushes on butt-ugly people with great personalities.

I can fall in love with these people, too.

But I am very disinclined to have somebody "force" somebody on me.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:53 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

For me, when I love someone, I can't see myself living without them.

Would you say that this dependence is necessary to maintain your love?
And may i ask if is it not uncomfortable to you to think that your life, kind of depend on the people you love?

I think it comes down to me knowing that the person loves and accepts me as who I really am - the whole entire package - happy me, sad me, grumpy me, depressed me, excited talkative me. I don't want to give all of me to someone who is going to be there one minute and gone the next. They do have to be dependable - not anything I don't expect to give of myself in return. That's probably why I haven't fallen in love yet. That kind of commitment is hard to come by these days.

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:56 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I have had crushes on butt-ugly people with great personalities.

I can fall in love with these people, too.

But I am very disinclined to have somebody "force" somebody on me.

I actually wouldn't mind an arranged marriage. I'd like to find someone a lot like myself without the hassle of dating. I hate dating, but would love to be married.

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2016, 7:56 pm

If you can get a cat to pass the NCLEX--RN version, then I think you'd make a good wife.

kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2016, 7:57 pm

I feel a strong aversion towards arranged marriages, dowries, crap like that.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:58 pm

Idealist wrote:

goofygoobers wrote:

When I think of it, reciprocation might be the link.

You can feel connected/linked to another person without the feeling being reciprocated.

Can you give an example? Speaking for myself, being in a situation like that wouldn't make me very happy.

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 8:02 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I feel a strong aversion towards arranged marriages, dowries, crap like that.

I'm also watching another show about the same topic (I love psychology) and one couple is having a gypsy wedding with a dowry and I find that distasteful - kind of like the bride is a piece of livestock.

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

Last edited by nurseangela on 13 Jan 2016, 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Idealist
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13 Jan 2016, 8:03 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

I feel a strong aversion towards arranged marriages, dowries, crap like that.

Crap like that...

My first marriage was an arranged marriage, it is a time honored tradition, not something to be looked down upon and subsequently made light of.

_________________
Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment, but the last step on the path to salvation.

Idealist wrote:

My Autism was cured/treated in late childhood (this makes me a walking, talking, contradiction to 90% of the Forum who all believe Autism is incurable)

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