Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

How to tell my friend he's an aspie?

Page 3 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

Previous topic | Next topic

Benthedemon007
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 15 Feb 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 45

25 Feb 2016, 11:19 am

Quote:
That's a good start, it gives you something to build on. But please take note of the advice you've had from people on this thread: you're not a clinician (any more than the rest of us are), so you're in no position to diagnose him as having AS or any other condition, and to do so might harm him as well as destroying your friendship. Try and steer him gently towards a better understanding of himself, drop subtle hints that will make him ask the question of himself and perhaps seek professional advice. Maybe you could talk to him about your own experience of Aspergers. All this will take time - and I mean months or even longer, not days.

BTW, are you in the UK?



I understand what you're saying as well as that I can't diagnose him, even if I can make a pretty good educated guess.

No, I'm not from the UK, I'm from America. However, you guys make awesome heavy metal.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 91 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 122 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


ConceptuallyCurious
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2014
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 494

25 Feb 2016, 11:46 am

I was 14 when a friend told me they thought I had aspergers.

They (an NT) went off on a spiel about how they wanted to tell me something, that it wasn't that they wanted to offend me - they liked me very much. Then they described some similarities I had with a friend of theirs who was diagnosed with Aspergers.

Eventually they meandered onto the fact they thought I had it.

I was mildly bemused and a bit bored by the politeness of it all, but listened patiently as they were my friend.

When they finally got to the point, I thought they could have put it more bluntly - but appreciate that if I was NT I would have likely liked it.

I was immensely relieved. I thought I had autism traits myself and was very worried that my perceptions were inaccurate. I'd wanted to ask other people's opinions and felt too nervous.

It was really helpful and made us closer as friends. :roll:


_________________
Diagnosed with:
Moderate Hearing Loss in 2002.
Autism Spectrum Disorder in August 2015.
ADHD diagnosed in July 2016

Also "probable" dyspraxia/DCD and dyslexia.

Plus a smattering of mental health problems that have now been mostly resolved.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

25 Feb 2016, 11:50 am

You had a good, objective mind back then.

Others might not have such an objective mind; they might not take the news so well.

Great story, and great illustration, though.



Chickadeesingingonthewrongplanet
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 6 Feb 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 67
Location: UK

25 Feb 2016, 12:36 pm

Yes, this reminds me of the sayings about how if you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person.
Just because one person found it helpful to be confronted about possible autism by a friend doesn't mean
anyone or everyone would.
If you are autistic yourself and still determined to tell your friend your opinion, I think it might be good to reflect really carefully on your motives, why it matters so much to you to do this. There are, after all, ways to give a friend social support about fitting in or not offending people, that stop short of trying to diagnose the person.