Are you unemotional?

Post Reply New Topic

This is kind of interesting - evidently in this study of psychopaths they do have empathy, but they have to turn it "on" - it is not on default setting like other people which means it can be turned off just as quickly. This article also talks about how people get desensitized to things like how I was saying I have with my patients at certain times. I have also had to learn how to turn off empathy so I can focus on my job when I have to.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/th ... not-always

I have done my best to learn empathy. I have feelings and emotional reactions myself but I didn't automatically consider those reactions in others. So first I made a conscious decision to try, now it is almost second nature. That's not to say that what I have is the same as natural empathy, but it functions the same in the way it informs my decisions and behaviour. I'm not always 100% accurate mind you, since my emotions are a little different to other people's, but I have definitely gotten along with people better since I made an effort to be empathetic.

Certainly on the inside and probably I appear emotionless too, although I can't say for certain because I can't see myself or view myself the way other people might.

It sounds like your a psycho/sociopath who thinks/acts like they are autistic. That's what what you're describing. You sound like someone who is faking it. You fit more sociopathic traits then Aspie traits. For me, My alexithymia is kinda like a slot machine (Not a rigged one) You never know if you getting the right one. There is a certain point where if I feel too much I realize what it is. I can tell there is something there though so it isn't alexithymia. There is always emotion you just can't recognize it. a Psychopath is the polar opposite of Autism, at least the Empathy part. Therefore it is impossible to be both. So We roll out autism. So you're not Autistic. You're just a psychopath/sociopath who says they are..


@nurseangela I Try not to be to hard on you. Since, you still are on this forum, Most people here are hard on NTs. I'm not because they can't help what they are. You seem to be on the B.A.P. though. So your just outside the spectrum where you'd be Autistic. Yes, It's more the act of expressing it, than feeling it. Sometimes I smile but it's very rarely.. I like people like you and SocofAutism, help to even it out. I mean it be boring to have just Autistic people on a Autistic forum. I hope you understand if you need me to elaborate further I will.
I'm trying to keep my cool, but it is hard, to.

Do you have friends? How do you treat other people? Can they tell that you don't have empathy? Do you think that you have hurt people's feelings in the past unintentionally because you don't have any emotions?

I have actually had to talk with SocofAutism because I needed another NT to help me understand some things and alexithymia was one of the things I have a hard time wrapping my head around. To an outsider, alexithymia comes across a lot like psychopathic personality. I have been told by some Aspies with alexithymia that they have no feelings or they are very muted and I don't see how that would be different from being a psychopath, UNLESS, the Aspie's conscience affects them then they would be a sociopath. I really have a hard time with people who don't have feelings (even though it is not their fault) because I am a very feeling person. It is something that really bothers me - a lot. I have also had my feelings hurt quite a few times by Aspies who have alexithymia which is another reason I don't like to befriend them anymore. I feel sorry for the people in their life who care about them because these people don't understand that there is no feelings there in return for them. Like my one Aspie friend who had alexithymia - he said he had no feelings for his parents or his cat or anyone. I have a hard time thinking of what that would be like. I also feel sad for the Aspie because they have never had these feelings. It's a mess.

I don't wish to hijack someone else's thread, so I'll only make this one further post on this side topic. I have no friends. I actually have no real comprehensionn of what a friend is but as I seem to be existing perfectly well without any I'm happy for it to remain that way, I don't feel as though I'm lacking anything by not having friends. Yes, I have unintentionally upset other people but as no offence was intended on my part that's their problem not mine. Relatives commented on my lack of emotion when my eldest sister died earlier this year.

I don't feel it is hijacking a thread because the topic is still talking about being without emotions. My Aspie friend also had no emotions when his father died. And you also back up what I was saying when I said the people that I have talked to about this are happy and don't want anything to change. I do believe that people who have the "no feelings" need to be aware of how much they affect the people's feelings around them to the point that it can be traumatizing to be treated in certain unfeeling and uncaring ways. As a "feeling" person, it actually upsets me that I have to be the one to have to deal with my feelings when a person who has the "no feelings" treats me a certain way. The more it happens, the more I shut myself off to other people because I do not want to get hurt again - it's physically and mentally exhausting and I really don't want to devote any of my time to dealing with my "hurt" feelings when I have other more important things I could be doing. People without feelings don't understand that feelings have a mind of their own and they are hard to control. So in order for me not to have to deal with any unwanted feelings, I have to stay away from the things that will activate them which are people who will probably only end up hurting me. I'm finding that more and more Aspies have this alexthymia than I first thought. I also don't believe my dad has empathy (which we also think he is an Aspie and probably a sociopath if not a psychopath).

Jute and nurseangela--

This is absolutely not thread hijacking please do continue. But thank you for the kindness of asking

Jute--

You don't look unemotional to me not in the slightest. Actually you come across as one of the more emotional people in this thread. Your social signalling and choice of words very strongly suggests emotion-driven cognition/decision-making and looks nothing like an emotionless social signature. You're specifically showing offense/reactance, disturbance (disgust), insecurity (anxiety), anger, bitterness, resentment.

Yeah the thing is I do get emotions stuck in my head for days when I do the very aspie thing of working over a thought on compulsive obnoxious repeat cycle. It causes precisely the same kind of trouble you describe except the only emotion which does it for me is anger. You're describing a different emotion probably moral disgust doing the same kind of reverberation -- it couldn't hurt otherwise. That really suggests a strong disgust response and very probably a moral disgust response, which isn't a lack of emotions and probably not a lack of moral emotions. I think you're just not perceiving the emotions you're feeling. I don't think you're emotionless I think you're emotion-blind. I think you don't feel your emotions and you come across to empaths as emotionless so you're taking their word for what you feel.

I had an Aspie friend (who I thought was a friend) a little while ago and he also said he had no feelings. He thought it was ok to use people for what he needed out of them and then to just end the friendship when it was of no more use to him. I asked him did he know how much hurt he was causing these people (some of these friendships lasted 4 yrs)? I said those people must have been traumatized and that it's too bad that he couldn't feel just once how much pain he was causing these people. He actually got mad at me and said "do you wish to cause me pain?!" He said that one time he had "made" himself feel this sort of pain and it was "excruciating" (which goes back to the article I posted on psychopaths being able to turn on and off their empathy feelings). He said that he never wanted to feel that pain again, yet it was ok for him to cause other people this type of pain as long as he got what he wanted out of them and he wasn't having to deal with the "excruciating" pain. Who would want to change that? It's the best of both worlds - get what you want and have no hard feelings about it. He didn't want to change and learn how not to hurt people. That's what I call a real a**hole and I am glad to be rid of him. I feel sorry for anyone else who crosses his path. That is how a real psychopath thinks - Aspie or no Aspie. Once I find out a person has no empathy, I'm now on my guard. This person also ended our friendship like he did all the others in his past and I have to say it was very cold and I was actually traumatized (or shocked) for a couple of days because of the way he did it. I got over it quickly because I now know how lucky I am to be away from him. I then educated myself more about psychopaths and what to look for so I'm not taken in like that again. He had a great personality because he said he had "studied" how to be the person that people were attracted to and wanted to be around. He said he had even perfected his voice to be very "charming". He even was able to act like he cared and I know now it was so he could get whatever information he needed from me - this information was "how NT's think and feel" information. Once he was done getting what information he wanted from me he then disposed of me like a piece of trash. Thinking back on it (I've done a great job blocking out his existence) gives me the creeps all over again.

I also remember when I was back on AC, there was this guy who was diagnosed Aspie and he actually came out and said he was a psychopath and was very interested in serial killers. He said he had also studied mind control and wanted to use it to get a woman. I turned the freak in, but they said they really couldn't do anything about it. He even went onto a thread that was about suicide and was trying to use this mind control to get Aspies to think that suicide was ok. They finally banned him.

That is why this alexithymia is throwing me off because it resembles a lot like a psychopath from an outsiders point of view.

No, because as I explained on my monologue, I still have feelings it just can be hard to recognize them. For Example I can only see if it is a good or bad emotion. Not what emotion specifically. Also, You can see that I'm compassionate I just have a hard time expressing it. I've gotten pretty good with coping with this in the past few years. You can tell there is a difference, because they do, it's just they can't recognize them properly or they manifest in a different way. Like, for example I get this uncomfortable feeling in my throat when, I'm angry. Unlike sociopathy where there is no emotion. They can learn to cope with it and recognize their feelings. I hear that writing journals, can help... Or explaining what it's like. It's almost like you know something is there in the distance, but you can't see it well enough to recognize what it is. It's not about feeling the emotion it is really about recognizing it. That is a common misinterpretation While it might seem like that it really is not what it is. Though you probably won't be completely recovered you can try to recognize this. Here is a video of Ask a Autistic on this.
That might help on any questions on you have on alexithymia and Autism in general. He might not actually be an aspie. From what you say said he sound more like a Psychopath/Sociopath who is posing as an aspie, and saying he has Alexithymia. Alexithymia is not something you can turn on or off... Also, I have problems making friends, cause I literally can't tell if someone is trying to be my friend or not.. For example, Someone might be trying to be my friend and say you we're walking by, You might think it is weird that I don't notice it. What might be obvious to you about social skills is not obvious to us. Social skills is it rocket science Just from my posts, You can also tell that I'm not emotionless. There is also a few different types of empathy. Basically there is Empathy the act of feeling for one. Then there is sympathy the act of expressing empathy. You might be confusing the two. We lack Sympathy not empathy.. Psychopaths are the opposite. They lack empathy not sympathy. As I've been monologues for what fifteen minutes now. I'ma stop and hope you got the point. I'm running out of things to talk about, and am starting to repeat myself. If you need more just watch the video..

First time In a long time I've had a captcha I thought they we're extent on this planet This isn't the right planet. Am I Right. Though if you need more info, after everything I've suggested you'll need to talk to someone else. I don't know how else I can explain it.

I appreciate this information Mr. P. and I'll listen to it a little later, if you don't mind. I have to finish some homework before the night is over. One thing before I go, I find that Aspies can get their feelings across more if they write them in a letter which might help in some friendships and relationships - like you mentioned the journal writing. I have read some real heart-felt posts from Aspies trying to explain how they feel about their spouse and I just come out and say for them to "give that post to your spouse and that will let them know how you feel." Writing definitely seems to help.

Is AC aspie central I've never really been interested in it. I don't really see a point it is kinda inactive. That sounds monstrous. "Mind control" yeah sounds more like Your Jedi mind tricks don't work on me. I sense a dark presence within him. Oh My Arceus, My parents are watching Star Wars, What a coincidence. Oh never mind it was just an Advertisement. Never mind. Well, Also Psychopaths who say something doesn't mean it's true. We are not psychopaths, because We don't harm people, because we still feel it. We still feel the bad feeling we just don't recognize it as guilt. We still have empathy we just have trouble recognizing. From your most recent post. I'm very good at recognizing psychopaths having experience, my mom being one. That's true. You can read my post whenever. My Surname for my profile is Napoleon. So It be Emperor N. I appreciate the gesture though. Not all aspies have Alexithymia some are Empaths (Have a strong sense of empathy). I still feel bad about hurting things though. I mean, While it might be hard for me to recognize the point is I do... Recognizing, Appearance, and Feeling. Are to different things. That's hwta I'm going to conclude with. Psychopaths and Aspies are like Mortal enemies they hate each other, but they always cross paths. By very nature.

Hey Pieplup. Sorry we've miscommunicated. Plz read through this thread and especially my intro post I'm being very up front and honest that I think I'm both a sociopath and an aspie. I'm here just tryign to figure myself out to confirm both as close to 100% as possible. And yeah I am pretty sure it's possible to be both the two conditions are orthogonal but it's a 1 in 10000 unlikely and kinda weird combination