How do I tell my partner I don't like him going "ssshhh"?

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I'm not, just Spiderpig upset me.

(((hug)))

Honesty goes a long way.

Kiddo does the same.

I began mirroring: I would sssshhhh back. Especially in front of the friends. 'Annoying he?' I said. Message received

It's just an opinion don't let it bother you. I don't see it as betraying anyone especially as this forum is anonomous. If anyone believes that their partner doesn't talk about relationship issues with someone else is deluding themselves.

Ok, thanks for making me feel better.
I just worried because I thought I was doing something wrong.

There are no hard & fast rules for relationships , it just a case of what works for you.

They wouldn’t if the partner happened to be me. What I’d hate is being pressured by others to give them info about the relationship. I may not have had a girlfriend, or have any hope anymore of ever having one, but I know that every time I’ve really liked a girl in the past (yes, it was far enough in the past to call them girls, rather than women), the last thing I wanted was to talk about it with anyone else or get them involved in any way. The only thing I expect of anyone sticking their nose into anything personal is to use it to take control of my life and screw it some more than it already is, and my hypothetical relationship is the last thing I’d want them to screw.

It’s certainly just an opinion. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone; I guess I need to improve my ability to tell in whose threads never to post again, and, if this proves too hard, just leave the site.

Then you ought to write a letter to the owner of the site about the Love and Dating subforum, being so your opinion on discussing anonymously about partners and relationships for support is wrong.

And don't use stabbing as an analogy. Not everything that people do is as bad as murdering.

I have almost no control over the volume of my voice, i have no idea how people do it, but my dad usually tells me to be quite over and over and over when im trying to talk to him, very frustrating, although i dont think doing what i did would help haha, i told him to stop shushing me because its annoying and he had some sort of rant at me for doing that.....so maybe not going down that direct root depending on who he is

And obviously what I said is an opinion and a generalisation based on my experiences. And my opinion on your comment is that I found the stabbing analogy quite brutal and out of context.

Talking about your relationship problems with someone else is perfectly natural but obviously eveyone has a limit or out of bounds area - for some sexual problems are a no no , for others mental health issues are out of bounds but everyone is different. Both men & women can gossip & b***h about their partner even if it's good relationship - I admit it's wierd but people hardly ever tell you how wonderful their relationship is they just tell you whats bugging them.

Your point was valid about not wanting your idiosyncrasies shared with anyone but I don't think it was helpful to the OP, this is an anonomous forum and the OP has not revealed anything said in confidence so I see no real betrayal of trust. To me being told to "shhhh" is a trivial problem ( Not to the OP though ) and would tell my partner to stop it as it's rude , I wouldn't reccomend this advice to anyone else though as I've been in a relationship for over a decade and I know what works for me.

I don't think it's acceptable to shush anyone but children ( there a few acceptable situations to shush adults e.g cinema , library )- it's a respect thing.

Asking for advice is pretty normal especially if you have social anxiety. It can actually help a relationship because you have put thought into how to deal with the situation, therefore decreasing the chances of an emotional argument.

I ask for advice about my partner all the time whether it's to my mum, my friends or on here anonomously. It helps me get my own thoughts into shape

It sounds a bit like your concerned about people Mali plating your future relationships?

Also honesty is the best policy and Essex girls rule! At worst just talk really fast over the shush and let the accent drown out his shussing hahaha