nobodyzdream wrote:
EXACTLY! I always keep going back to situations with my bf, but he's the ONLY one I really talk to, lol, so it's the only examples, etc. I really have.
He's constantly asking if I love him, if I'm mad at him, etc. simply because I don't ask how things are going or say it specifically. I'm always thinking "if I didn't, you would know because I wouldn't still be here and I would tell you flat out if there was something going on." I've told him this before but I'm pretty sure he finds it rude Sad I don't know how else to explain it to him though. He says when I tell him things like that that it's because I'm angry, then he gets defensive and it just gets confusing because I don't know what else I'm supposed to tell him that makes sense, or why I should "sugarcoat" it to make it sound better because I have no clue what answer he's wanting from me. I mean, yes, a simple "well of course I still love you!! !! !! !!" would be simple enough, but if I don't feel a need to confirm it all the time, how am I supposed to sugarcoat it and sound genuine, lol. He sometimes asks me if I'm mad at him, or just keeps asking me over and over so many times I'll finally just say "well, I'm not mad at you right now, but if you keep asking me, you're going to push me over that line very quickly and I'm sure I will be soon". lol.
People I don't know, I guess it's more of a normal thing to say "please" and "thank you" because it is polite, and it's easier to remember these things when I'm not around the person constantly. It's more automatic with them.
I can't sugarcoat. Its not natural and I hate HATE having to baby BS in order to keep the sanctity of Miss or Mr Boohoo I'm so sensitive. Cry me a river. And yes, I've had my fair share of criticism and boy, truth stings like hell it sure does but I'd rather have it direct, clean with reason and logic than "Oh.. well you know you're nice and blah bah but this and that and whaa my life is miserable." I'm nice? I'm not nice don't s**t with me. Christ, I know I'm an arrogant bastard lord, don't tell me crap to make me 'feel better' before the full blow of your complaint or criticism like I'm unaware of who I am or something.
Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want done.
I'm doing something wrong? Let me know.
I'll fix it if I can, I'll work it out with you.
If I'm upset REASON with me, give me some logic.
Don't touch me, you'll be less an arm.
It bothers me so much, I guess maybe also my PTSD is against me here too.
There's so much I need to work on in this area, in the area of social nicety and interaction.
its so damaged.
That would drive me crazy hearing "do you like me, do you love me?" all the time.
Am I still with you? Do I help you? Have I not SHOT YOU YET?
If you've answer yes to these questions than you've answered your first question.
12 May 2007, 3:32 pm
