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Delay in Processing

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methinks
Deinonychus
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13 May 2007, 3:18 pm

TG wrote:
What's not OK is when I get into and argument.

I know that I'm feeling angry or defensive, but don't know how to verbalize it. When the other party is able to make their case clearly, they think that I end up agreeing with them because I'm not quick enough with an answer in my defense, making me look stupid, and them somehow superior.

Very often it isn't until hours or even days later that I say, "Hey! Wait a minute! I don't agree with that - This is what I should have said....!"

When I go back with my defense and ready to state my case, I usually get the response "Why are you bringing this up again? This issue was dealt with already, and now you want to stir the pot again. Why are you dwelling on this. It's done."

Because of this I often feel that I'm never heard in any argument, never get my say, so tend to instead become passive or agreeable.

And I think that this may be the case for many of us. How often do you get your point across in a fast paced argument so perfectly that the other party hears you and backs down?


Exactly.I often seem more agreeable or passive(or cold)than I am,because I can't always keep pace with real-time disagreements or arguments.And,as you say,I don't always grasp the whole dispute until later.



scrulie
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13 May 2007, 3:23 pm

methinks wrote:
TG wrote:
What's not OK is when I get into and argument.

I know that I'm feeling angry or defensive, but don't know how to verbalize it. When the other party is able to make their case clearly, they think that I end up agreeing with them because I'm not quick enough with an answer in my defense, making me look stupid, and them somehow superior.

Very often it isn't until hours or even days later that I say, "Hey! Wait a minute! I don't agree with that - This is what I should have said....!"

When I go back with my defense and ready to state my case, I usually get the response "Why are you bringing this up again? This issue was dealt with already, and now you want to stir the pot again. Why are you dwelling on this. It's done."

Because of this I often feel that I'm never heard in any argument, never get my say, so tend to instead become passive or agreeable.

And I think that this may be the case for many of us. How often do you get your point across in a fast paced argument so perfectly that the other party hears you and backs down?


Exactly.I often seem more agreeable or passive(or cold)than I am,because I can't always keep pace with real-time disagreements or arguments.And,as you say,I don't always grasp the whole dispute until later.


Yep. Totally.


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LostInSpace
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13 May 2007, 3:37 pm

Sometimes it takes me a moment to even understand what someone said, like I'll answer "What?" because I didn't hear them clearly, but even before they are able to answer, I figure out what they said and I'll be able to answer. It just sounds like they're mumbling before I'm able to parse the words.

I also can't follow oral directions well at all, I think because it takes me too long to process each step.

Also, when role-playing, I always felt like I was the last one to kind of "get it", grasp the implications, or whatever.

To the person, who asked about slow processing vs. stupidity, I guess it depends on how global your problems are. After all, my visual processing is terrible (I have a nonverbal learning disability), and I can also be slow with processing when I hear things, but I'm awesome when things are written. My verbal IQ is 147, and I got a 1540 on the GRE, so I know I'm not stupid, but it sure can feel like it in conversation. If you were slow with absolutely everything, including areas besides processing, you might just have low overall intelligence.



DingoDv
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13 May 2007, 3:54 pm

I think this manifests itself worst in long heated arguments for me,
I guess you could say my 'page file' gets too full (for I have sh***y memory), and slows me down???

Quote:
Sometimes it takes me a moment to even understand what someone said, like I'll answer "What?" because I didn't hear them clearly, but even before they are able to answer, I figure out what they said and I'll be able to answer.

I manage to do that alot as well.



Stupidcat
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13 May 2007, 4:21 pm

I have problems like this when I'm in public. If I'm trying to buy or order something as soon as someone asks me a question its like I lose 40 points off my IQ. I often have to rehearse my lines before I order something. I repeat what I want over and over and over until it becomes second nature. When I have to pay for something, I hold my mode of payment in my hand because if I don't, I'll forget what I was going to do and then have a panic attack when trying to remember.