androbot01
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Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
14 Jan 2017, 4:30 pm
16 Jan 2017, 1:00 am
nurseangela wrote:
Xochitl wrote:
Even after reading the other answers, I'm still struggling to see how "What do you want me to do about it?" is offensive. I just see this as asking for exact details, or intructions to follow. I have trouble with coming across as sarcastic as well, I don't know whether it's my body language or something with my voice.
If I tell you a problem that I am having and you say to me "What do you want me to do about it?", its obvious (to NTs) that I am telling you my problem in hopes that you can solve it for me. By saying the "What do you want me to do about it", its a rude way of saying you don't have the answer to my problem, therefore I am bothering you and wasting your time. If I have to tell you what I want you to do about it, then I already know the answer and wouldn't be asking you in the first place.
Its hard for me to dissect it, because I just naturally know its rude. If I try to break it down on why its rude, it feels weird and doesn't make much sense to me as to why its wrong.
Ah, I think I understand where I'm going wrong with this, if someone were to tell me a problem they were having I wouldn't assume they wanted my help, I would think they were needing to just get it off their chest. So I would respond with "What do you want me to do about it?" and in my head meaning, do you want help, comfort or just someone to listen to you (asking for intructions of how they want me to react), instead of as you said automactically jumping to solving the problem for them.
Thanks for the explanation.
16 Jan 2017, 1:18 am
Xochitl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
Xochitl wrote:
Even after reading the other answers, I'm still struggling to see how "What do you want me to do about it?" is offensive. I just see this as asking for exact details, or intructions to follow. I have trouble with coming across as sarcastic as well, I don't know whether it's my body language or something with my voice.
If I tell you a problem that I am having and you say to me "What do you want me to do about it?", its obvious (to NTs) that I am telling you my problem in hopes that you can solve it for me. By saying the "What do you want me to do about it", its a rude way of saying you don't have the answer to my problem, therefore I am bothering you and wasting your time. If I have to tell you what I want you to do about it, then I already know the answer and wouldn't be asking you in the first place.
Its hard for me to dissect it, because I just naturally know its rude. If I try to break it down on why its rude, it feels weird and doesn't make much sense to me as to why its wrong.
Ah, I think I understand where I'm going wrong with this, if someone were to tell me a problem they were having I wouldn't assume they wanted my help, I would think they were needing to just get it off their chest. So I would respond with "What do you want me to do about it?" and in my head meaning, do you want help, comfort or just someone to listen to you (asking for intructions of how they want me to react), instead of as you said automactically jumping to solving the problem for them.
Thanks for the explanation.
Actually, I like your way better. I wish someone would ask me if I wanted a solution, comfort or just to listen because sometimes I want different things. NT's are strange.
That where men get mixed up because women just expect them to know what we want. Women are complicated.
Holy Roman Emperor
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Joined: 12 Jan 2017
Age: 28
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Location: San Diego CA
17 Jan 2017, 1:47 pm
18 Jan 2017, 7:52 am
