Finding the real you

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I understand that people change, but if said change was brought about by coercion, and tendencies coming from said change end up being instinctual, are these tendencies part now of your real self? Why do I feel dirty about such tendencies, is it the real me talking?

I think that people struggle for years to find their "true self" because a true self is not there to be found. I don't believe that each of us has a true authentic self to be discovered. I think that our preferences and our attitudes are much more dynamic. We are a combination of many things, including our habits, our experiences, and our beliefs. I don't think that we have a fixed true authentic self. We are constantly changing.

Take the topic of music for example. My younger self forced myself to like some kinds of music I didn't like, and I guess that influenced my current taste.

People change. Some things stay the same, but they can get new interests, or decide that they don't like something anymore. We learn a lot as we age.

Is every aspect of me part of the real me? I guess so, but it doesn't negate that I feel dirty when I exercise certain interests, ones which are now second nature to me but which I brainwashed myself into liking in order to survive as a teenager.

"To the ancient questions about who we are, and where we are going, it is today sufficient to say that we are the Sloop Sofia, bound for Denman Island."
- Best answer I've ever heard.

We can change anything, but we can never change just one thing.
Neither can we preserve anything without changing more and more around it.

Does anyone else here wonder about this kind of thing?

People I respect say that the real you is eternal, unchanging, and incorruptible. While in a body, your soul has to compromise with others around it, all having limited the limited knowledge and thinking ability of a brain. The dirty feeling is your clue about which compromises to grow away from as soon as you can gracefully disentangle yourself. They are best dealt with, in my experience, by not resisting them but by starving them of time and attention due to newer, better habits.

Same, but even when I'm alone, I still use defense mechanisms.

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I still have trouble finding myself. I feel like college just sets me back from learning the real stuff. My family noticeably seems to set me back also due to financial troubles.

The distinguishing characteristic of the real me is a love of cats and animals in general. Many things have changed in my life for the better, but animals have been a constant.

As you could see, I'm pretty disillusioned that being a fake-ass b***h may not have been completely fruitless. By not agreeing with every goddamn thing I do, I feel like reality is letting the haters win.

That would be nice .

Huh?

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More about my own complicated relationship with myself.