Staring at people who are mentally disabled?

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EzraS
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07 Jul 2017, 6:29 pm

I have always been stared at. Between my awkward gait and movements because of my dyspraxia and my physical and verbal stimming because of my autism, I draw unwanted attention. I don't like it, but I know it is just human nature.



Joe90
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08 Jul 2017, 4:19 am

I do stare if people are having a big argument in public, or are showing themselves up in some other way. I might even grin. But I wouldn't grin or stare or laugh at a person who is very obviously autistic. There was a young man with autism in a book shop the other day. He was with his parents. He had noise cancellers on and was flapping his hands and making groaning noises. I saw him but I didn't stare. I just went on going about my business, knowing that the lad can't help it. I saw other people staring and laughing. It breaks my heart.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2017, 6:02 am

He could be the man who deciphers the secrets of ISIS, and saves the world......



underwater
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08 Jul 2017, 6:17 am

There are stares and there are stares. I guess what you are referring to, Joe, is malicious staring, and laughing.

If laughing at a handicapped person makes someone feel better about themselves, they'd have to be feeling pretty miserable to start with. I can't on the spot come up with anything more pathetic, and I think most adults see it that way.

This thread made me feel horribly self conscious because I know have a bad staring habit, but after thinking about it I realised I do pretty ok with someone who is out of the ordinary. They don't puzzle me, really. It's when I can't make up my mind about something that I end up staring.

People are different. Some people would like others to acknowledge their troubles, others want to be left alone, and still others want to be treated like anyone else.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2017, 6:20 am

Being treated like everybody else is best.



Trueno
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08 Jul 2017, 6:26 am

I agree there are stares and there are stares. The word we use in the UK is "gawping". Don't know if that is current in other parts of the world.
If you are just looking, or possibly even zoned out with your gaze in a particular direction... I'd tend to say that is staring. If you are looking at someone or something, eyes wide, mouth open and either taking undue interest or possibly even deriving some pleasure out if it... that's gawping.
You can gawp at Niagara Falls, but don't gawp at another person, it's not nice.


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underwater
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08 Jul 2017, 6:31 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Being treated like everybody else is best.


Certainly when it comes to people you don't have a personal relationship with. However, in certain cultures like mine there is a habit of ignoring someone's challenges to the point of being inconsiderate, purely from a wish not to embarrass someone, and that can put a lot of pressure on someone to do things they are not capable of, just to fit in.

For example, I know lots of people who would happily hold long speeches about someone with MS who participated in a tough bike race, to someone else suffering from MS, who most likely is more impaired. This becomes a problem when five different people say the same thing. Not unlike the people who keep asking parents of autistic kids what their 'special powers' are. It's well meant, but it's like water torture.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Jul 2017, 6:46 am

Ignoring challenges is bad, too.

Be considerate of someone with challenges, without letting that person know that you know that he/she has challenges.

Speak slower. Listen better.

I tend to talk fast, and I have trouble listening.