How do you cope with the feeling you don't belong?

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That sucks-Elaine.

I can relate all too well. One kid managed to turn the entire school against me. He is a lying, cheating sociopath but everybody hung on his every word and believed all his malicious lies. I still remember being at my former best friend's birthday party and literally being ganged up on. Everyone thought it was a big joke including his mother who didn't do anything to stop them. My mother was still friends with her until she died about 15 years ago and I remember saying at the time that I was glad she was gone. Cruel yes but to make a 12 year old feel so unwelcome hurt beyond belief. I also remember having to sit on the floor of the school bus until my mother raised hell with the bus company and always being picked last in sports even though I am was (and am) an above average player.

What made it worse was that I wasn't a stupid kid, I wasn't a kid with bad hygiene and I wasn't an annoying kid. I literally bent over backwards to be nice to everyone. Many adults appreciated it but the kids? Not. A. Chance. The only thing that saved me was making friends with the toughest kid in class. NOBODY messed with me.... until he moved away 4 months later.

I finally though I found my "posse" about 3 years ago when I started dating the last woman before my wife. It seemed all her friends accepted me and we got along great even though they were mostly female. Let's just say it wasn't as bad as school but I have accepted belonging to a group is simply not in my cards.

I have accepted it, its not going to change.

I just say screw it, and hang out with the people who like to hang out with me.

YouTube is very good company.....

Ditto, Kraftie☺

It's hard sometimes. Some days I don't mind because there are some people I do belong with (such as my family), but other days I really want to feel like I'm part of what's going on and go do lots of exciting things, see a lot of people, or whatever. I've never been a social butterfly in reality.

I try to tell myself that there are a lot of people like this (not just famous ones, but people not famous enough to be known), and focus on other things.

For me I reconciled myself with it years ago. I'm a loner, I'm not really lonely though. I only really feel lonely in a crowd of people. I have people in my life, I do worry about the future though.

Totally agree about the YouTube.

I think I have somewhat accepted that I am different and instead try to feel good about myself by trying to love who I am. Also I don't get out of the house much right now and so I feel less different. But once I'm in school again in a month, hrm, will update.

I found people I get along with. I got two close friends. We are all insane in our own way and that helps us get along.

I cope by being grateful that I'm at least tolerated. I'm happy when I'm tolerated and when I'm not tolerated, I leave.

Ladyelaine,

So sad that you are going through that. I went through it when I was young and it hurt. It is getting better for me now. In my 50s, I'm finally finding something I never had before. Cats are a great source of comfort.

Good advice, but where are those people? The only person I know who is like me (semi-nerd, semi-jock, semi-geek) is my father-in-law and even then his interests rarely jive with mine. I am certain they are out there, but I feel like I fall into the crack between geeks, nerds and jocks. It doesn't help I don't really drink or party, which severely limits my social options.

I suppose the best I am going to get is playing hockey. A couple of guys on my team commented that "no, offense but you (goalies) are weird." I replied "well, no offense, but you guys are the weird ones".

There are many people who skirt categories. I'm like you, actually---though short and clumsy and a lousy athlete.

But I've learned not to care about my "short" comings too much.

We usually play street hockey, rather than ice hockey. Most guys like hockey here because of the fighting element.

I like watching the actual hockey, though. I even like listening to "Oh Canada" before the games.

I read Gordie Howe's biography. I remember, vaguely, Tim Horton playing for the Rangers.

Street hockey sounds like fun. Do you also like to shoot pool?

I'm not very good at it.....but I find shooting pool relaxing.

I used to like to watch people like Minnesota Fats shoot pool on TV.

I have a vivid memory of being very depressed one day. And walking into one of those old-fashioned type bars. This was around 1984, when Tina Turner was become popular again. I was about 23 years old.

They played the song "What's Love Got to Do with It?" And I absorbed it into my mind.

Then I started shooting pool alone. And it relaxed me almost to the point of euphoria.