Anybody else a self-harmer?

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I can't say that I've never done any self-harm, I used to bang my head out of frustration at people against walls and floors and used to hit myself and scratch myself when I was mad or upset. Most of that was in childhood and teenage years. I've learned how to cope more usefully over the years in other ways like going into a room by myself and just screaming or writing out on the computer how I feel.

I use to cut, be anorexic, and take a lot of speed.

:-/

It sucks, but you have to stop. I've quit for the most part. Feels a lot better most of the time.

I touch very hot metal on purpose. Well, I don't know if it's definitely on purpose or whether I zone out and touch it without my knowing. One time, we were using hot plates in science class, and I put my entire right hand on it. It had been on for at least five minutes. I got a huge second degree burn and I had to have my hand wrapped in gauze for about a month. I don't know if it's self-mutilation, it probably is, but I try not to do it so much. It's not something I do routinely. It's more of a compulsion than a routine.

I used to cut as a teen due to the stresses I was under, the I escalated and used a gun in a suicide attempt. Not good. I recommend seeking help. And in general just keep talking, talking is better than any form of self harm, and as you can see, your not alone.

Pain is good for focusing the mind, as in when you loose perspective. But I would recommend something productive like vigorous exercise, and only use the rubber-band or belt when time is at a premium. The slice and dice method smacks of more serious issues me-thinks.
Although, if I am having trouble concentrating in class I have been known to repeatedly slap myself while sobbing uncontrollably for fifteen minutes or so, after which I stim for ten, and then after about five minutes of scream therapy I'm good to go, just like nothing ever happened!

Yes. I used to be pretty bad about cutting myself; two years ago I was hospitalized for something that might have been seen as a suicide gesture, but I think was just my hand slipping while using a razor blade. (May I clarify that most self-injury is not a failed suicide attempt, or practicing for suicide.) I only needed five stitches, but I also admitted I was suicidal; so they admitted me, and I stayed there for about nine days.

Most of the time, it's just when life starts to feel out-of-control that I turn to it. As far as I know, I've injured myself since before the age of four, though the first time I broke the skin (rather than just bruising myself) was at age nine, and the first time I used a razor blade at about age 13. I was in my mid-teens when I found out that this wasn't just something I did; and no one found out about it until the above incident, at age 20.

Self-injury is fairly common; as a coping method, it's probably quite a bit safer than abuse of alcohol or drugs. According to the stats I've heard, 1 in 10 people have intentionally injured themselves, and 1 in 80 do so on a regular basis. It seems to be a sort of "epidemic"--one person found out it gave temporary relief from all sorts of things; and eventually others found out. (And then there are people like me, who seem to have been born prone to it...)

I'd rather cut myself than drink too much, anyhow. At least this way, my liver stays healthy! And recently, I've been doing so only about once a month. I may one day no longer need it.

Yes.

I cut.

Although, I've been trying my best to stop, as if I do cut, I'll be sent back to the hospital. I wish I'd never started cutting. My arms and legs are covered in scars that will be with me for the rest of my life. :/

When depression becomes unbearable and reaches the point of suicidal ideation, cutting stops it like magic. I know its harmful and I don't do it often, but when I do, it seems to work. It's definitely embarrassing though, and I've never told anyone ... well til now I guess.

((gentle hugs to tracylynn is tracylynn wants them))

I don't think its anything to be embarressed about. Its a great coping method. Unfortunitly, its one where the stakes seem to keep raising. Also, its too good of a coping method sometimes...if it were only easiler to harness that emotional pain and use it to work on the underlying stressors....

thanks BeeBee ... Im a big fan of hugs!

I agree, Tracy. My preferred method of suicide will always be slashing, much more peaceful. The other benefit, as you said, is that the pain is usually too much and helps banish the depression that caused you to try it. Basically just moving the focus of your attention from your depressive thoughts to the pain of the cutting, or the act of cutting. Then you can just enjoy the awareness that comes from the cuts.

I only ever did it once, at age 20 I deliberately burned my hand with an iron. 15 years later I still have no idea why.

When I was young, I used to go into modes of crying, silent crying in my closet or bed at night, real gut-wrenching crying that would make me have to throw up, then I would escalate and bang my head, punch, bite, pinch or scratch myself. Only in private would I do these things. I felt that if I could scratch deep enough, I could rip out of my skin and be free. Of course, it didn't work. It wasn't something I did deliberately and regularly. Just overloaded with emotion and not able to deal with it. I haven't done anything like that since I was 11 or 12. Deliberate cutting at unemotional times, I think, sounds more serious and difficult to treat. I would recommend redirection. Make yourself do something constructive, even if it has a little element of danger. The best thing to do would be get help! I don't think that everyone can do this on their own.
A little word of advice: don't watch depressing and dark movies and books. They just deepen the love affair with despair. (and lead to paranoia for some!)

Yes I harm my self. When really upset I'll take a shower and little by little I turn off the cold and try to burn my self. When really bored everything that I look at becomes a way to kill my self and I try to keep my self from getting bored. I claw my self with what finger nails I have and claw my arms and face that's when I'm annoyed or when I really want to say something but I can't get it out I do it.

Do any of you harm yourself because you like the sensation of pain?

I guess I do enjoy pain at least it's not this constant sorrow and grief of Depression that I'm going through.