nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,184
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
25 Dec 2017, 6:15 am
Dear_one
Veteran
Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
25 Dec 2017, 8:10 am
fluffysaurus wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
I got that big toy car done, but I think the mother has gone to visit relatives, so the kid won't get it for Santa magic. Maybe the noise of making it spoiled my chances for arranging a delivery time when I didn't hear a knock.
I also got another well-intended note from an old friend that made me sad. She is stuck being "nice" all the time, but she is afraid of men in general and pissed at her aspie ex.
I also got another well-intended note from an old friend that made me sad. She is stuck being "nice" all the time, but she is afraid of men in general and pissed at her aspie ex.
After my diagnosis but before I found WP all I found were articles and sites warning people about getting into relationships with Aspies
I got depressed, I'm feeling a lot better now though 
Was your friend venting about her Aspie ex? if so then that probably made her feel better even if it made you feel bad, but it's worth remembering that you aren't him.
I also think one of the reasons there are so many rants about Aspie boyfriends about is that women often go into relationships thinking the man will change (all men) and they don't, but non-autistic men pick up on what's expected and fake it. Whenever female friends rant about ex's behaviour I always ask how it was different from when they got together, I've never gotten an answer.
Merry Christmas
I don't know if anyone else thinks her ex is an aspie, but her only complaint was that when their child was small, she moved his pile of papers and he had a meltdown. She almost never complains about men she knows, but her Christmas Eve "hello everybody" letter started out with a story about a rape survivor. Next was a piece about picking a location and sticking with it, as if there was never a good reason to become a refugee. I had been very impressed that she had given up her car, instead of just agitating for others to do so, and she still signs her letters "love __" but she is blind to the inseparability of Feminism and Sexism.
I had several romantic partners, and I was pretty good at knowing how to avoid getting demerits. I had some generous, pleasing behaviours, but I was also oblivious to a lot, and didn't learn new ways or engage in mainstream culture. Baby Ducks have a reflex to follow their mother, but can imprint on any moving substitute. I feel a bit like a grown-up Duck who is still test-following various people 'till told to get lost.
26 Dec 2017, 6:58 am
Dear_one wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
Dear_one wrote:
I got that big toy car done, but I think the mother has gone to visit relatives, so the kid won't get it for Santa magic. Maybe the noise of making it spoiled my chances for arranging a delivery time when I didn't hear a knock.
I also got another well-intended note from an old friend that made me sad. She is stuck being "nice" all the time, but she is afraid of men in general and pissed at her aspie ex.
I also got another well-intended note from an old friend that made me sad. She is stuck being "nice" all the time, but she is afraid of men in general and pissed at her aspie ex.
After my diagnosis but before I found WP all I found were articles and sites warning people about getting into relationships with Aspies
I got depressed, I'm feeling a lot better now though Was your friend venting about her Aspie ex? if so then that probably made her feel better even if it made you feel bad, but it's worth remembering that you aren't him.
I also think one of the reasons there are so many rants about Aspie boyfriends about is that women often go into relationships thinking the man will change (all men) and they don't, but non-autistic men pick up on what's expected and fake it. Whenever female friends rant about ex's behaviour I always ask how it was different from when they got together, I've never gotten an answer.
Merry Christmas
I don't know if anyone else thinks her ex is an aspie, but her only complaint was that when their child was small, she moved his pile of papers and he had a meltdown. She almost never complains about men she knows, but her Christmas Eve "hello everybody" letter started out with a story about a rape survivor. Next was a piece about picking a location and sticking with it, as if there was never a good reason to become a refugee. I had been very impressed that she had given up her car, instead of just agitating for others to do so, and she still signs her letters "love __" but she is blind to the inseparability of Feminism and Sexism.
I had several romantic partners, and I was pretty good at knowing how to avoid getting demerits. I had some generous, pleasing behaviours, but I was also oblivious to a lot, and didn't learn new ways or engage in mainstream culture. Baby Ducks have a reflex to follow their mother, but can imprint on any moving substitute. I feel a bit like a grown-up Duck who is still test-following various people 'till told to get lost.
That must cause problems because everyone is flawed. I used to rely on my older sister as a sort of guru of normal behaviour, until she cut me out of her life. At the time I was heartbroken but after a year I realised that our relationship had been unhealthy. I looked after her children, lent her money ect. and she told me where I was going wrong (selfish, not making enough effort, don't try hard enough (her words)). It's been 3 years now and I have gradually gotten better at trusting my own judgment
but I do still feel like a baby duck sometimes.The baby duck thing is a really good way of describing it
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