What do you wish your teachers had known?

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That I wasn't lazy or unmotivated.

That I needed help and support. That all the individual things they mentioned needed to be seen as a whole. That bullying is not excused by saying " Some boys are the type to be bullied".

That IQ is no substitute for EQ. I spend days trying to understand and anticipate the impact of brief conversations. I need to be told things that are so obvious to others that they can barely put them into words, and think it would be weird to try.

I wish my teachers knew how EASY they have it. If they make a mistake, get a bad grade, or lose an item, that'll be the end of it. They won't get in trouble at home. They won't be punished. They won't be shamed. They won't be yelled at. They won't lose TV "privileges". (Is it a privilege for parents too? ) They won't lose out on a promised food treat, museum trip, or video game "for laziness". They won't have to sit and study for hours on end "to learn the material". And if a day is too damn difficult to bear, they have access to alcohol and tobacco to drown it all out.

I, on the other hand, had to fight a war on two fronts: staying out of trouble at school, and keeping my parents placated at home. Germany during World War II had it easier than me during school years!

That I didn't have an attitude problem. I just didn't know how to respond. Also that there criticisms simply pushed me to ignore them because I was tired of internalising them.

I fell asleep in class because life became too taxing, not to be rude.

That I wasn't lazy or distracted but I neurologically have a short attention span.

What autism is or even that it exists. When I was in school ('60s-'70s) people simply had no idea. Depending on the teacher, I was a weird genius, had a bad attitude, was lazy, was a troublemaker, or some other option. Some of them liked me, others really hated me.

Most of my teachers liked me, but I got bullied by some of my classmates. Looking back, these students usually were the troublemakers who later got in trouble with the police. My quiet, studious, sometimes odd nature made it difficult for people to approach me and I missed out on a lot of opportunities to make friends.

"What do you wish your teachers had known?"

The fast-moving end of a 2x4.

There were a few wonderful exceptions, but teachers in the public schools I went to were generally the worst bullies in the class. They didn't just pick on savants, either.

Nothing. I wouldn't share my secrets with teachers. They could stick to teaching, marking homework and papers. My life was my own. I don't think back then it's possible for them to understand autism. I went to a rather elite school which took only the top 2%. Students with difficulties were other schools' problems.

I made my school sound harsh, but it was much better than other schools available at the time. It focused on developing talents, creativity and critical thinking. I met some of the most brilliant people there. Other schools focused on homework and more homework. We didn't have as much homework so we had time for music, sports and art. It was also extremely well funded and we had resources other schools didn't have.

I have to admit that after leaving that intellectual environment I was in shock about what "normal people" were like. It took me many years to learn how to talk to and listen to regular folks.

I had the double whammy of growing up with an older brother that had an IQ rivalling Einstein and a controlling mother. I will never forget the time in Junior High I got a 66% on a math test. I waited until the last possible second until I told her (because you had to get it signed by a parent) and made sure others (including my brother) were around for support. Words cannot describe how utterly terrified I was to have to break the news. I was almost as afraid of her volcanic reaction as I was of being beaten by the bullies! Most other kids would have been satisfied to get this result or at worst saw it like a tiny mosquito on their arm.

Luckily by High School she realized that I was smart but not quite an honor roll student. She finally clued in that I put everything I had (sacrificed everything including a social life) but simply wasn't able to grasp Physics. What's really ironic is that my mother has a learning disability and both my parents barely passed High School!

It makes me wonder why teachers require kids to get bad grades signed by parents. Because my parents had such volcanic reactions even to a C on a report card, they put Mount Vesuvius to shame; I wasn't banned from watching TV for 2 weeks. And one time, when I got a D on a math homework, my mother spent the whole evening crying, and my father spent the whole evening slamming doors. Don't teachers realize that they're putting kids through hell by requiring parents' signatures?

I tried talking to my therapist about this, but she was a total moron! She just gave me some "empathy" crap, like "you feel scared when your parents overreact about your grades". And of course, she also asked me how it made me feel. That's when I knew she was "working for my parents", and therefore couldn't be trusted.

By the way, I have an older sister (by 10 years), who wasn't as good a student in school as I was. She moved out as soon as she started college, but was home on breaks and in the summer. While she helped me with homework here or there before then, she was solidly on my parents side, as they were always on hers. And yet, my parents never demanded the perfect grades from her that they demanded from me.

Because of all that, combined with other contributing factors, I firmly decided to never have kids.

To my sixth-grade gym teacher: If I laugh when others tease me, join in if you choose. But, if I don't laugh, and I stare at the ground, it is time to intervene, you schmuck, not join in on ridiculing me just because I didn't know or care about baseball rules.

To my twelfth-grade physics teacher: No, I didn't cheat on your tests. And, yes, I did do my own work. But, when you tell me bluntly that, because I "didn't show" my calculations and I "must have cheated," understand that many autists intuit answers based on known facts. And, when I offer an explanation, keep my earned grade at B- (which you admitted it was) instead of "docking my grade" to D-, to "teach" me how to follow rules. Yes, I dropped out of school the next day for those reasons. But, I went on to become quite a respected governmental adviser and political lobbyist so much so that I was invited to the White House. Now, can you now tell me the coefficient of that level of influence?!?

To my ninth-grade astronomy teacher: Thank you for realizing instantly that requiring me to stand at the head of the class, and describe a stack of planetary photographs to the students would make me shake like a caffeinated Don Knotts, and cascade into a shut down. Thank you for apologizing to me, and chastising the class when it snickered at me. Thank you for inviting me to enroll in my beloved after-school Taekwondo class with you; it began the process of breaking away from my selective mutism. Most of all, thank you for searching for me on the last day of my attendance at that school, and giving me a card with the Henry David Thoreau quote: "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." You were a best friend who happened to be a teacher.

In short: Help me where I struggle academically. Other than that, leave me alone.



To every math teacher I ever had: You are incapable of teaching pupils who don't understand your initial explanation. Saying the same thing over and over isn't gonna make me get it.

To the extra teacher we had a short time in junior high:
Thank you for showing me that I was able to learn math when explained differently. I actually learned from you. I wish all math teachers had your teaching skills.

I wish teachers understood how I badly I did at math (and science) and that I could have been taught in ways that had made me capable of getting through high school.

I wish my junior high school and high school PE teachers had known how bad I was at it, and that when I could hit the ball well one minute but not the next, it was down to my lacking skills, not effort. I had no idea what I did when I made it.

I wish my elementary school PE teacher understood what a nightmare it was to even think of undressing after puberty hit.

I wish my junior high teachers knew that when I got home I was often so exhausted that I had to sleep in the afternoon, something I hadn't done since I was 1.

I wish my high school teachers knew that as school year progressed I sat like a zombie after school was out, and increasingly I didn't even recover over breaks.

The amount of homework for someone so zombiefied was insane, and was therefore left undone often.

I wish my math teacher at one high school knew that I was serious when I asked how to do that. Thanks a lot for humiliating me in front of my class and take away the little hope I had of making it, you POS.

I would personally have loved to be allowed to always work on my own instead of in groups.


Being an 80's kid, no one thought autism when they saw me, but I was said to have "contact difficulties". Some teachers tried to push me into playing with others. I did not appreciate that at all. I was happy on my own. I wish teachers understood that it's not bad to be alone when you're aloof by nature.

Dumb teachers even claimed I had no hobbies and that was "worriesome" I had interests, they just didn't include other people. They were solitary activities.

Don't force playing or outside "help" on a kid. (Elementary school teacher, the day will never come when I don't hate you for what you did)
Help them get through school and otherwise leave them alone.

There is nothing I wish any of my elementary school, middle school or high school teachers knew, except perhaps that they were good teachers.

^ Can you say how they were good?

I was diagnosed today (yay!).

Handing over primary school reports during the evaluation brought back some unpleasant things.

As part of fruitless diagnostic efforts in 1989 (year 3 primary school) a teacher paediatric questionnaire was filled out.

Difficulties/strengths were summed up as:
Strengths:
- Eager to work on specific self-interest projects
- Advanced oral language skills
- Can show concern and willingness to help less able students on specific tasks
- Enjoys listening to stories, shows well-developed sense of humour
- Displays all round graps of basic academic skills with advanced language skills (oral language, reading)
Weaknesses:
- Fine and gross motor skills are ret*d
- Apparent lack of definite "handedness"
- Social skills are immature. All these contribute to a frustration which manifests itself in behavioural extremes, at times

I just wish my teachers had known what Aspergers Syndrome was, back then.