Sensory Issues Not Believed

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Joined: 11 Aug 2015
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15 Jun 2018, 9:42 am

I will freely admit I was skeptical of my daughter's sensory issues. She was a picky eater, she asked to leave certain restaurants with too much spice in the air, she had to be seated in a certain orientation in a restaurant, etc. It was not only sensory issues. A very smart child (by standardized tests such as the ACT), she had trouble finishing class projects, applying to college, and so on. She got suspended from school over a meltdown in the cafeteria. I simply did not understand what her PROBLEM was.

It was a complete epiphany for me when she was diagnosed with autism. Suddenly everything made sense. And more and more, I was able to support her in ways she needed.

A casual observer might conclude I was narcissistic in my interactions toward my daughter. Well, narcissism doesn't end overnight when a diagnosis is rendered. So I ask all autistic readers who are condemning their parents, to consider that it is a very challenging role and we were all working with incomplete information. And maybe, just maybe, reach out to those parents and give them a second chance.

(Note: if the situation is different, and the insensitivity continues in spite of an autism diagnosis, that's a completely different story.)

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Lanceeselhombre
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Joined: 25 May 2018
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15 Jun 2018, 6:18 pm

Gallia wrote:

i think i've internalised this attitude a bit, i tell myself off for not being able to go through my day as easily as other people because i don't want other people to tell me im being difficult etc so i make twice the effort. the resulting meltdowns from accumulated frustration are usually something i can see coming but i can't do much about it sometimes. e.g. i can't just go and take 10 minutes off at work (tho i use the excuse of "stocking up" to spend some time alone).

I know exactly how you feel. I don’t like to admit it but I 100% beat myself up for being unable to function like NTs, especially when my family members criticize me for my struggles (which they asked me to start communicating more about!)

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Gallia
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15 Jun 2018, 6:44 pm

Lanceeselhombre wrote:

yeah my mother actively compares me to my more functioning friends/ siblings. her first reaction when i told her my suspicions was " you're not smart enough " because she thought people with high functioning autism are all maths/ science geniuses. however, now she is totally convinced that i am and patronises me a lot about it. like "don't do this, it will be difficult knowing your limitations". i don't think we understand each other v well.

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LoneLoyalWolf
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15 Jun 2018, 10:42 pm

In my opinion people that question sensory issues lack empathic ability and should do some research on what autism is. Also know people that don't have autism with sensory issues, it doesn't matter, they should have respect. Some people need alone time, can't deal with people, busy situations, noises, smells and so on very well, every person is unique in their own way and that is what makes people so beautiful.

Comparing a person with autism to someone that doesn't, makes me cringe. Like blaming someone for not being able to walk and pointing at someone who can walk and telling that person to just walk because the other can do it. You were born like this and blaming someone for that, what does that say about the other person?

It's already bad enough we have to deal with these sensory issues so that people have to make it worse is really maddening.

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colton.s
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Joined: 3 Jun 2018
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16 Jun 2018, 9:55 am

LoneLoyalWolf wrote:

Sometimes people have trouble with things they can't see or don't understand it scares them, I'm not making excuses for them but I didn't get it till I came to WP and then only because of people that took time to explain and answer my dumb questions

LoneLoyalWolf
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06 Jul 2018, 5:01 am

colton.s wrote:

We are all human, we all make mistakes. If you're sorry, apologized when you got educated and you showed empathy and respect I would accept that apology and move forward. Forgive and forget.

You are not dumb or unempathic, you took the time to find answers, educate yourself. You can be proud about that, good job!

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TwilightPrincess
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06 Jul 2018, 7:45 am

My family just doesn’t understand my sensory issues since they don’t experience the same thing. They don’t try to accommodate me at all.

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EzraS
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06 Jul 2018, 9:59 am

I meant that my reaction to goldfish's comment was ew.

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