is it difficult for you to "let go" of negative experiences?
I have also had negative experiences that I haven't 'let go' of. I am actually one of the people who holds the belief that forgetting a negative experience is not a healthy approach.
I tend to process the experiences and learn what I can from them. Some of the most defining moments in my life have arisen from such experiences and my reactions to them, both immediately and over the long term. I've learned a great deal about both the strengths and weaknesses in my personality through them. Therefore, while I might be able to move on and accept my more unpleasant experiences, even if I could forget them, I don't think I would. As painful as they can be to look back on, they are important to me.
Dear_one
Veteran

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 76
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines
At my last counsellor's appointment this came up, and I pointed out that people who recommend "letting it go" are usually allied with the abuser, but that is not always true. The things she hopes I'll let go are major, life-changing crimes and possible big danger signals. The crimes are ones that I can't afford the lawyers for, but such things happen a lot - even chance can ruin all our plans - it makes more sense to stop brooding and get busy building anew, if one can have any confidence in life at all. Letting go of danger signals also makes considerable sense, because suspicion can easily escalate. Just keep them under consideration, but let go of the tension while waiting for more evidence.
If somebody kept going on about a lost cake, I'd get ready to gag them with one the next time, but offer a slice as a ritual closing first.
I never say “forget.” I say....learn from it, and move on from it. Don’t let it “color” your life and your relationships with people. Don’t assume everyone is a potental abuser, and don’t extend the definition of “abuse.”
I can understand wanting justice for people who have been abused....let me emphasize that.
[MOD]
Offending party has been warned.
Carry on.
[/MOD]
_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."
-XFG (no longer a moderator)
Persons concerned with "Letting Go" are most certainly allied with abusers, and it is also because they don't want their own denial systems challenged.
If it is a therapist or someone else covered by mandatory reporting and they are preaching "Letting Go" to a child, report them at once to both state and federal authorities, because failure to report suspected cases of child abuse is a state felony, and it is a federal felony. You can report them to me too.
With something like Autism / Asperger's / Neurological Difference it is impossible to ever disentangle it from Emotional and Medical Child Abuse.
"Go ahead, take the label, exonerate all abusers. That way you can be happy."
New website to deal with WP bully mods:
"https://sites.google.com/site/theautismsyndrome/"
And replys on Sami Timimi related Critical Psychiatry thread:
"https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread54300.html?highlight=critical+psychiatry+timimi"
And right here on WP
"http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=189136"
This thread and the Humphreys article have much to do with why I eventually did join WP. At least by appearance, it does not seem to be like Recovery Movement forums, people protecting their own denial systems by enforcing a dogma.
And here, from the Humphreys article, "Sami Timimi, a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist and two colleagues rigorously examined over 5000 research articles on autism and ASD and found no scientific basis for what they now refer to as mythical disorders."
Richard_the_Dogged
So XFilesGeek, you would do better if you climbed down off your high horse and checked things out some. But I am not a mean man, and so I will accept your apology for having misused your moderators position...
We have to be strong, and we need to teach children to be strong. Once one has been exploited and abused in certain ways, they will continue to be targets for such exploitation and abuse. And what the Autism / Asperger's advocacy movement teaches is to become an Uncle Tom.
People have different temperaments, and we don't know what causes this. But you will never be able to untangle Autism / Asperger's from a history of abuse. Only if people learn to be strong and to fight back, will they ever have any chance of reclaiming the life which has been taken from them.
I have never read this anywhere, but to me the proto Aspie would be Simon in Lord of the Flies. He is in a thicket communing with nature, a born nature mystic. Then Jack and his pig hunters, chasing a pig, burst in on him, and Simon becomes the first boy they kill.
I think there is much more of this which connects to primitive societies and which has to be understood. At core it is simply about power and the herd.

I know next to nothing about Scientology, except for crazy Tom Cruise behavior and beliefs.
Twilight, I'm not sure what you are saying.
Fnord, I suggest following the Tony Humphreys link to the Irish Examiner article on facebook.
In "Toxic Psychiatry" Peter Breggin writes that the Refrigerator Mother theory never was discredited at all. Its just that it is politically explosive, and the main autism advocacy groups are simply defensive formations of the parents.
Myself, I don't quite go along with the Refrigerator Mother idea, it is too simplistic, and it makes it sound inadvertent. But seems to me that there is always a component of parental rejection, not in Austism, as their is no such thing. But the rejection is simply in the child's being broken down. I say, "They break your wings and then they try to make you forget that you ever had the chance of flying.
Showing some important and eye opening books:
"https://sites.google.com/site/theautismsyndrome/"
And then William Stillman writes in "The Soul of Autism" that the real epidemic is not in Autism cases, but rather in the demands for the hours of Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy, being driven by what he calls "Mommy Guilt".
CockneyRebel
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 118,420
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

_________________
The Family Enigma
Fnord, I suggest following the Tony Humphreys link to the Irish Examiner article on facebook.
In "Toxic Psychiatry" Peter Breggin writes that the Refrigerator Mother theory never was discredited at all. Its just that it is politically explosive, and the main autism advocacy groups are simply defensive formations of the parents.
Myself, I don't quite go along with the Refrigerator Mother idea, it is too simplistic, and it makes it sound inadvertent. But seems to me that there is always a component of parental rejection, not in Austism, as their is no such thing. But the rejection is simply in the child's being broken down. I say, "They break your wings and then they try to make you forget that you ever had the chance of flying.
Showing some important and eye opening books:
"https://sites.google.com/site/theautismsyndrome/"
And then William Stillman writes in "The Soul of Autism" that the real epidemic is not in Autism cases, but rather in the demands for the hours of Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy, being driven by what he calls "Mommy Guilt".
Trying to use a sexist debunked theory that is decades old to blame women for autism. Not only is that not original, it's quite a reach back. Get with the times, man.

Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Negative consequences of getting rid of added sugar? |
01 Jun 2025, 7:00 am |
Talking to professionals is difficult
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
25 Jun 2025, 12:56 pm |
Balancing the demands of difficult physical skills |
22 May 2025, 11:33 am |