Anyone who hasn't achieved aspired goals in their 20s ?
24 Feb 2019, 2:32 pm
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
Debbiegirl
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 3 Feb 2019
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 27
Location: Portage la Prairie, Manitoba, Canada
24 Feb 2019, 2:42 pm
I'm 54. I never went to art school or university of any kind. I have been working in donut shops and fast food places just to survive. And, I never learned to drive. Seven (7) people have tried to teach me, but I'm just too overwhelmed by all the things I need to watch out for on the road and in the car itself. I gave up that goal. However, I recently had a couple of magazine articles that i wrote published (along with the nature photos i took). My love of Art lent itself to photography, which i have practised since I was a teen, but digital cameras have made this hobby so much easier to pursue and master. I have another 50 years to go. 
Rad Rockit
Deinonychus
Joined: 23 Feb 2019
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 357
Location: Everywhere and nowhere.
24 Feb 2019, 3:33 pm
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
_________________
Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
24 Feb 2019, 7:48 pm
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
Rad Rockit
Deinonychus
Joined: 23 Feb 2019
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 357
Location: Everywhere and nowhere.
24 Feb 2019, 8:14 pm
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
I'm curious about what you mean by praising anti-intellectual behavior, and can't really weigh in on that sort of thing with so little knowledge about it. But I can definitely understand having low self esteem and confidence, because I've been struggling with that for a long time now and I have made some progress. I don't know the right thing to say, but I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are people who do empathize if nothing else. And I do hope you can remain strong and do your best, because there is a chance you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it at first. I don't know you well enough to make any crucial observations, but I do hope the concern at least helps even if only a little.
_________________
Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
25 Feb 2019, 12:24 am
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
I'm curious about what you mean by praising anti-intellectual behavior, and can't really weigh in on that sort of thing with so little knowledge about it. But I can definitely understand having low self esteem and confidence, because I've been struggling with that for a long time now and I have made some progress. I don't know the right thing to say, but I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are people who do empathize if nothing else. And I do hope you can remain strong and do your best, because there is a chance you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it at first. I don't know you well enough to make any crucial observations, but I do hope the concern at least helps even if only a little.
People in the culture I live in tend to disregard reading or expanding their knowledge and instead do things like drinking and smoking heavily as well as going crazy for football. I am an outsider in this culture and I feel like I can't escape it.
Whenever I've tried to do things to get out of my rut, they always feel like unending slogs and I get frustrated with how nothing ever seems to go my way while for everyone else they reach their goals. It makes me want to kill myself sometimes.
Rad Rockit
Deinonychus
Joined: 23 Feb 2019
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 357
Location: Everywhere and nowhere.
25 Feb 2019, 1:02 am
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
I'm curious about what you mean by praising anti-intellectual behavior, and can't really weigh in on that sort of thing with so little knowledge about it. But I can definitely understand having low self esteem and confidence, because I've been struggling with that for a long time now and I have made some progress. I don't know the right thing to say, but I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are people who do empathize if nothing else. And I do hope you can remain strong and do your best, because there is a chance you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it at first. I don't know you well enough to make any crucial observations, but I do hope the concern at least helps even if only a little.
People in the culture I live in tend to disregard reading or expanding their knowledge and instead do things like drinking and smoking heavily as well as going crazy for football. I am an outsider in this culture and I feel like I can't escape it.
Whenever I've tried to do things to get out of my rut, they always feel like unending slogs and I get frustrated with how nothing ever seems to go my way while for everyone else they reach their goals. It makes me want to kill myself sometimes.
So is it safe to assume that you can't simply find new people outside of that particular culture to associate with? I presume that could be one of the things you've tried to get out of the rut. I do wish I could offer better advice but I am afraid that I may say something that comes across the wrong way, or mkght be something you've already heard and therefore pointless at best and frustrating at worst. I don't fit in myself and I can sympathize with suicidal feelings because I've been there, but I aso don't know what you really need to hear honestly. In my case I have found that focusing on the positive and self-improvement have helped ease those negative thoughts and feelings for the most part. Maybe that could help yoi but maybe it can't, I don't know, but hopefully expressing it has helped you and will continue to help you. I do sincerely hope you can overcome your problems.
_________________
Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
25 Feb 2019, 1:27 am
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
I'm curious about what you mean by praising anti-intellectual behavior, and can't really weigh in on that sort of thing with so little knowledge about it. But I can definitely understand having low self esteem and confidence, because I've been struggling with that for a long time now and I have made some progress. I don't know the right thing to say, but I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are people who do empathize if nothing else. And I do hope you can remain strong and do your best, because there is a chance you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it at first. I don't know you well enough to make any crucial observations, but I do hope the concern at least helps even if only a little.
People in the culture I live in tend to disregard reading or expanding their knowledge and instead do things like drinking and smoking heavily as well as going crazy for football. I am an outsider in this culture and I feel like I can't escape it.
Whenever I've tried to do things to get out of my rut, they always feel like unending slogs and I get frustrated with how nothing ever seems to go my way while for everyone else they reach their goals. It makes me want to kill myself sometimes.
So is it safe to assume that you can't simply find new people outside of that particular culture to associate with? I presume that could be one of the things you've tried to get out of the rut. I do wish I could offer better advice but I am afraid that I may say something that comes across the wrong way, or mkght be something you've already heard and therefore pointless at best and frustrating at worst. I don't fit in myself and I can sympathize with suicidal feelings because I've been there, but I aso don't know what you really need to hear honestly. In my case I have found that focusing on the positive and self-improvement have helped ease those negative thoughts and feelings for the most part. Maybe that could help yoi but maybe it can't, I don't know, but hopefully expressing it has helped you and will continue to help you. I do sincerely hope you can overcome your problems.
Most of the social places in my area cater to the alcoholic and smoking crowds, football fanboys, and people who call themselves Christian but only to be members of the Jesus fanclub so they can transgress as much as they want if they repent every time so my social opportunities are practically nonexistent. Positive thinking doesn't help me no matter how hard I try to use it. Depression has destroyed my mental health to the point I can't stop thinking negative thoughts no matter what I do.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
25 Feb 2019, 4:06 am
I was born with disabilities besides Aspergers that really limit me with life. i NEVER had goals are dreams about what i wanted to do with my life. I struggled soo much with skewl that I just wanted to be done with it when I was going. I never knew beyond that. Then after I graduated I started looking for work & I put in apps at most any place I could get to that might have something I could do but I had NO experience & the recession had started so I was looking for a couple years before I got my 1st job. I changed jobs a couple times & was unemployed & looking aLOT. I only worked 38 months of my life. I got on SSI before I started working & it switched to Social Security Disability a while after I quit. I lived with my parents until I moved in with my current girlfriend at 30. I never had any desire for a romantic realtionship until I stumbled into my 1st one at 20. I met her on a forum & she had some weird things in common with me like dyslexia, ADHD, & OCD so we really connected. I screwed that up thou & didn't have another realtionship until I was 28 despite my best efforts to find one. I met her on this forum & she broke up with me after half a year. I got in my current relationship shortly after & I also met her on this forum. I think I come off better on forums than I do offline & on dating sites but it takes a rare kind of women to be interested in me.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
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Rad Rockit
Deinonychus
Joined: 23 Feb 2019
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 357
Location: Everywhere and nowhere.
25 Feb 2019, 11:19 am
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
I'm curious about what you mean by praising anti-intellectual behavior, and can't really weigh in on that sort of thing with so little knowledge about it. But I can definitely understand having low self esteem and confidence, because I've been struggling with that for a long time now and I have made some progress. I don't know the right thing to say, but I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are people who do empathize if nothing else. And I do hope you can remain strong and do your best, because there is a chance you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it at first. I don't know you well enough to make any crucial observations, but I do hope the concern at least helps even if only a little.
People in the culture I live in tend to disregard reading or expanding their knowledge and instead do things like drinking and smoking heavily as well as going crazy for football. I am an outsider in this culture and I feel like I can't escape it.
Whenever I've tried to do things to get out of my rut, they always feel like unending slogs and I get frustrated with how nothing ever seems to go my way while for everyone else they reach their goals. It makes me want to kill myself sometimes.
So is it safe to assume that you can't simply find new people outside of that particular culture to associate with? I presume that could be one of the things you've tried to get out of the rut. I do wish I could offer better advice but I am afraid that I may say something that comes across the wrong way, or mkght be something you've already heard and therefore pointless at best and frustrating at worst. I don't fit in myself and I can sympathize with suicidal feelings because I've been there, but I aso don't know what you really need to hear honestly. In my case I have found that focusing on the positive and self-improvement have helped ease those negative thoughts and feelings for the most part. Maybe that could help yoi but maybe it can't, I don't know, but hopefully expressing it has helped you and will continue to help you. I do sincerely hope you can overcome your problems.
Most of the social places in my area cater to the alcoholic and smoking crowds, football fanboys, and people who call themselves Christian but only to be members of the Jesus fanclub so they can transgress as much as they want if they repent every time so my social opportunities are practically nonexistent. Positive thinking doesn't help me no matter how hard I try to use it. Depression has destroyed my mental health to the point I can't stop thinking negative thoughts no matter what I do.
Well it seems as if you've resigned yourself, and although it troubles me to admit it, I'm not sure there's really anything I can say to help you. Hopefully at least being able to express your problems helps you in some way.
_________________
Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
25 Feb 2019, 6:16 pm
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Rad Rockit wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Fern wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I don't want to live past my 30's. Hell, I sometimes feel like I should just end things before my 31st birthday.
Why do you feel this way?
Personally, I'm 33 and I've really enjoyed my 30s so far. People are much more likely to take me seriously when I talk. I still have a baby face, but I now I can say "Excuse me. I am a 33 year old woman, and-" when people are talking down to me. It's kind of enjoyable.
I've been stuck in a rut since I was 17 and my efforts to get out of it have been unproductive slogs or things suddenly dead end on me.
If you can identify your problem(s) and seek out answers you might be able to work it out, as long as you can convince yourself to keep going. I suppose forming a support network would also help. I do think talking about what troubles you with others definitely does help. For me personally, just knowing there are other people going through the same or similar problems as me is a comfort because at least I feel a little less alone, though I do hope those people can stay strong and keep going as well.
I live in a rough area that praises anti-intellectual and aggressive behavior. I have low self-esteem as well as confidence because of the environment I live in.
I'm curious about what you mean by praising anti-intellectual behavior, and can't really weigh in on that sort of thing with so little knowledge about it. But I can definitely understand having low self esteem and confidence, because I've been struggling with that for a long time now and I have made some progress. I don't know the right thing to say, but I do hope you can take some comfort in knowing that there are people who do empathize if nothing else. And I do hope you can remain strong and do your best, because there is a chance you can change things even if it doesn't seem like it at first. I don't know you well enough to make any crucial observations, but I do hope the concern at least helps even if only a little.
People in the culture I live in tend to disregard reading or expanding their knowledge and instead do things like drinking and smoking heavily as well as going crazy for football. I am an outsider in this culture and I feel like I can't escape it.
Whenever I've tried to do things to get out of my rut, they always feel like unending slogs and I get frustrated with how nothing ever seems to go my way while for everyone else they reach their goals. It makes me want to kill myself sometimes.
So is it safe to assume that you can't simply find new people outside of that particular culture to associate with? I presume that could be one of the things you've tried to get out of the rut. I do wish I could offer better advice but I am afraid that I may say something that comes across the wrong way, or mkght be something you've already heard and therefore pointless at best and frustrating at worst. I don't fit in myself and I can sympathize with suicidal feelings because I've been there, but I aso don't know what you really need to hear honestly. In my case I have found that focusing on the positive and self-improvement have helped ease those negative thoughts and feelings for the most part. Maybe that could help yoi but maybe it can't, I don't know, but hopefully expressing it has helped you and will continue to help you. I do sincerely hope you can overcome your problems.
Most of the social places in my area cater to the alcoholic and smoking crowds, football fanboys, and people who call themselves Christian but only to be members of the Jesus fanclub so they can transgress as much as they want if they repent every time so my social opportunities are practically nonexistent. Positive thinking doesn't help me no matter how hard I try to use it. Depression has destroyed my mental health to the point I can't stop thinking negative thoughts no matter what I do.
Well it seems as if you've resigned yourself, and although it troubles me to admit it, I'm not sure there's really anything I can say to help you. Hopefully at least being able to express your problems helps you in some way.
I am thinking of withdrawing from even doing that.
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