hi i'm new, got a question

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I might do. I have family come with me lots of times to appointments for similiar reasons. It doesn't bother me when i feel super anxious and consequently more vulnerable, but when i'm having an odd day where i feel more confidant (for whatever reason) it makes me feel embarrassed. Noone should be ashamed of struggles. If you've got support from anyone, you're blessed.

strawberrypie - You have mentioned a number of conditions such as social anxiety, depression, selective mutism, complex trauma, delayed language absorption, disassociation disorder and you are looking for an accurate diagnosis. But the problem is that many of these conditions either are comorbid with Asperger's or are a fallout from the stress of being an Aspie. In Asperger's it is dealing with the whole strawberry pie rather than focussing on one slice at a time.

From your discussion I have noted that you are portraying one characteristic associated with female Aspies. Dr. Judith Gould talks about the differences in diagnosing autism in females compared to males. She references Hans Asperger’s use of the term ‘little professors’ to describe males with autism who amassed huge knowledge about obscure obsessions and could lecture on their chosen topics with immense aptitude. In contrast, Dr. Gould references girls with autism as ‘little psychologists’, who would often show fascination in the minds and behaviors of those around them.

Now the next issue is what will you gain by having an official diagnosis for Asperger's. For many individuals, knowing they have Asperger's fulfills a curiosity about their origins and knowing that they are not the only person in the whole world with this condition. That they are part of a special tribe.

For some such as children in school, an official designation may provide special accommodations and special educational opportunities. But this does not generally carryover into adulthood. Generally being an Aspie is not considered a disability. So for many seeking an official designation; it is more effort than potential gain.

Both anxiety and depression can cause memory and general cognitive issues.
I have a family member affected like this.

Executive functioning disorder has similar memory/organisational/comprehension problems, but your anxiety has been definitively established which explains things "nicely".
We might be wise to invoke "Occam's razer" here.
Best of luck with your diagnosis.

Pax.



I am not a girl.
My mother had me tested.



I'm not looking for a fight.
But.
That is a binary that I think is not accurate.

Never occurred to me I struggle. To me struggle is when my energy quickly drops which is usually when some sort of stress takes place. (I don't know what to call it other then energy loss as it is hard to describe). Other then that, I would call the other issues just little things.
Mind you, I do rely on my Mum a little but there again, she also relies on me. I think this is a good thing for both of us.
The strange thing in growing up in my family. Oh, I have/had a good family. My dad died though back nearly 12 years ago. Strange? Well, if I am diagnosed as being on the spectrum my mother very much is also on it even though she does not see the point in her being assessed. Now while growing up having a mum who thinks like me but a dad who thinks very differently was kinda linteresting. My mum was sociable because of my dad who used to be able to go out and connect with people. I used to marvel how my dad could do that. My dad used to work as a council employed carpenter and he used to regularly be one who would be able to fit in and get along with whoever's house he was working on. I mean... Well, I was a postman once and to me, just putting letters in peoples doors had me a little nurvous. It was a little easier to do jobs where customers came to me. Now looking back I know why my brief attempts at self employment kinda failed before they started as I just find I do not really like using telephones and also going to potential customers houses is just something I find is a little nurvewracking. Yes, I will do it, but on the inside I am shivering with nurves. Yet why? Why do I find going door to door, or even visiting a specific persons house a difficult experience, when though I maybe a little on edge, if customers came to me it would be easier. (I find if I can work behind the scenes it is easier for me though and it has taken many years to find this out, though I like to talk to people... It is wierd. On the one hand I want to work alone and the other hand I don't mind the occasional happy customer to break up the monotony of stressful work. Umm. Maybe I am just an ordinary person (NT?) who gets stressed and falls to pieces on the inside when dealing with people? No idea.
Sorry. Talking about self again. My mum is always telling me to make sure I talk about other peoples wants/needs etc. I don't know why but my conversations are all about my experiences etc. I just don't get how to talk about other people in the same way. Just doesn't work. I let them speak and then I comment from my experience. But they need to speak to tell me. For some reason I don't know how to ask. I think this is why I only have a narrow group of friends. Ah. But I now have you lot in here. Hi everyone!

Never occurred to me I struggle. To me struggle is when my energy quickly drops which is usually when some sort of stress takes place. (I don't know what to call it other then energy loss as it is hard to describe). Other then that, I would call the other issues just little things.
Mind you, I do rely on my Mum a little but there again, she also relies on me. I think this is a good thing for both of us.
The strange thing in growing up in my family. Oh, I have/had a good family. My dad died though back nearly 12 years ago. Strange? Well, if I am diagnosed as being on the spectrum my mother very much is also on it even though she does not see the point in her being assessed. Now while growing up having a mum who thinks like me but a dad who thinks very differently was kinda linteresting. My mum was sociable because of my dad who used to be able to go out and connect with people. I used to marvel how my dad could do that. My dad used to work as a council employed carpenter and he used to regularly be one who would be able to fit in and get along with whoever's house he was working on. I mean... Well, I was a postman once and to me, just putting letters in peoples doors had me a little nurvous. It was a little easier to do jobs where customers came to me. Now looking back I know why my brief attempts at self employment kinda failed before they started as I just find I do not really like using telephones and also going to potential customers houses is just something I find is a little nurvewracking. Yes, I will do it, but on the inside I am shivering with nurves. Yet why? Why do I find going door to door, or even visiting a specific persons house a difficult experience, when though I maybe a little on edge, if customers came to me it would be easier. (I find if I can work behind the scenes it is easier for me though and it has taken many years to find this out, though I like to talk to people... It is wierd. On the one hand I want to work alone and the other hand I don't mind the occasional happy customer to break up the monotony of stressful work. Umm. Maybe I am just an ordinary person (NT?) who gets stressed and falls to pieces on the inside when dealing with people? No idea.
Sorry. Talking about self again. My mum is always telling me to make sure I talk about other peoples wants/needs etc. I don't know why but my conversations are all about my experiences etc. I just don't get how to talk about other people in the same way. Just doesn't work. I let them speak and then I comment from my experience. But they need to speak to tell me. For some reason I don't know how to ask. I think this is why I only have a narrow group of friends. Ah. But I now have you lot in here. Hi everyone!

Well i'm not looking to "fit in" anywhere these days. Having lived without friends for so long i don't really care to be part of a group anymore. I can enjoy my own company as well as being around family other times. I know no matter what my problems are i'm unlikely to be the only one in the world with them. I don't need that feeling of knowing i'm not the only one or to feel unique and special in some way.

What would help is knowing what path i'm best going down in order to better myself and improve so i'm able to function in society and be less dependent on others. I've been through therapy for a decade, i've improved gradually, but i'm at a stand still now and still not able to work, live independently, deal with things, enjoy myself socially etc. Perhaps if it is aspergers that's stalling my progress, knowing so, i'd get the correct help for it.

Sorry, struggle is a term i use. If i need someone to deal with things for me or speak for me, its because i feel i'm struggling to do it myself.

You sound a little like you have social anxiety too. I don't know. Energy loss can be a result of anxiety.

It may be that. I have not been assessed before. There is a wait though. They said the waiting list had come down quite a bit but it is still quite a long wait. I am a bit nurvous that I don't accidently sway the results one way of the other as my mind may latch onto things. I want accurate results. I am hoping they have ways to sort this out. The strange thing is about masking. Aparently women do it, but I have done it for years. Ever since I was in school onwards. I used acting thick with a sense of humour as a way of masking as it worked the best for me. I don't know how to not mask in an enviroment where I am with groups of people if that makes sense as the masking enables me to be acceptable. Without masking I am very quiet, shy and withdrawn.

You need to explain that to them when you see someone. If you write things down as they come to mind, and have it prepared when you have your sessions you can show them. It will help them to understand better. Also, if you don't feel you get on with the person you can always ask for someone else (actually not sure with an assessment) and you can have second opinions.

What do I expect a test to be like? I mean. Is it a written exam? Is it a test like the littlw online tests out there? Is it just sitting there being asked questions? I have no idea. They put on the letter it will not be a test where I need to undress as in a physical examination. (If I recall what the letter says. I may need to re-read it to clarify that as I have read so much from this forum etc. Never having been tested before should I be concerned?

Obviously i can't really say, the people on here will have a better knowledge of that. I do know when the specialist who started assessing me for aspergers at the time used a test called the "sally anne test". A really basic test that i thought should have been used for someone much younger than myself. Theres different questions and tests they use. They definitely ask you about your early years growing up, and ask someone (probably your mum) who knows you best about your developmental history, what you was like as a child etc.

Because my mum thinks like me (So if I am on the spectrum she also is) she doesn't think we are any different to anyone else. I love my mum! When I was growing up my mum reminded me so much about a ladie in a film. I think it was called something like Homemaker or Homecoming or some similar name. It had two sisters in it. Ruthy and Silvie. Their aunt looked after them and in a way my mum was just like the aunt, and I am. I mean... Well. Maybe slightly odd but with such a sense of freedom! A type of doing your own thing.

According to the Internet:

Most processes use the DSM IV criteria for diagnosing Autism and Aspergers Syndrome

Children are usually tested using the M-CHAT (Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers). It consists of interviewing parents and evaluating the child. Parents should be prepared for paperwork and checklists. They will ask when your child achieved milestones (ie. How old was your child when they started walking?)

For adults, questions of your childhood behaviors and your current behavior will be taken into account. You will be asked questions and might need to consult your parents or siblings about your childhood.

Source: Getting an Official Aspergers Diagnosis

So it sounds like answering a number of questions about your experiences growing up and your present difficulties. It might be a good idea for you to take your mother along because she may be able to answer them and provide a fuller picture.

Yes. I am bringing my mum as they have asked for someone that knows me from when I was younger and out of all the people I know , I think there is only my mum left and two brothers who are younger. I have started to bring my mum to any official thing like a doctors as I find when I am nurvous I find my mind goes blank and I go into a default setting and change the subject, and remembering what was said is not easy.
Other times I am great. I passed all the railway exams and tests when I used to work there which were every two years with 500 questions where the pass rate had to be something like 96% with no wrong answers in certain sections... I seemed to do great.