How different were you as a child?

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I want to embrace the traits of Istomin, Nadal and Federer within myself, even though I don't fancy myself to be anything like them in terms of tennis ability. I want to work hard, never give up, always study and learn new things and be friendly with a sense of humor.

Bullies saw me as an easy target during my grade school and middle school years with one reason being that I was one of the "weird kids."

Even though it all stopped when I began my high school years, I was still an anonymity to everyone.

The interesting thing is that my childhood was relatively 'normal' until I reached double figures in terms of years. I wasn't exactly a social animal or anything like that but I had friends, and was probably seen as being part of the flock in general. Secondary school was where things became more difficult, perhaps due to its greater size (around 1,000 vs. 250 or so in primary school), perhaps due to my peers becoming more judgemental at that age, I'm not sure.

Some observations from a recently discovered home movie:
-I wasn’t much interested in ‘normal’ toys, but I was happy repeatedly loading and unloading my dad’s gun (no bullets).
-I kept repeating, “And there’s my shoes!” But it seems like something someone said earlier, since there was no shoes in sight.
-It was hard to get my attention. Family tried to get my attention with a toy cat, but I mostly ignored them. A few times, I looked at them briefly before going back to playing with the corners of two casette boxes.

Other than that, my grandparents thought that I was “different” than their other grandchildren. That I was more hyper, and had more intense tantrums.

From an early age, everyone kept telling me the way I walked and stood was weird. And that I was clumsy.

Though I said this, thinking about things from a general wider perspective, I have actually not changed a great deal as I still like trains and bicycles etc. My interests have not changed. I am still the same person. I am just specialize more and have learnt more of what I like and what I don't like and this came through exploring my earlier experiences.

I am right there with you. I'm completely alone now. I wasn't always. I'd have, like, one friend at a time. Or there were brief periods when I had several friends. I found solace in schoolwork. Learning. I've always enjoyed learning about new things.

I spent a lot of time with my parents.

I knew I was a little weird, and I thought I'd eventually straighten out. I didn't. The saying is true, "no one can save you but yourself."

I take strong meds. I'm not working much. It's rough. Probably the roughest it's ever been. I've taken meds for ASD for the past 22 years. I'm really traumatized and everything feels very distorted. I'm the weird woman in town who lives with her aging parents. My peers are very busy with their marriages, careers, and/or children.

We have a family dog. I guess that helps a little.

I'm hoping that things will eventually improve, but nothing is for sure. Everyone just pities me.

I was bullied a lot when I was in grade school and middle school.

During my high school years, I was very much an outcast because of my desperation to fit in.