Does this forum help or hurt?

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Irimias
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23 Nov 2019, 5:02 pm

I havent posted here much but I've posted on similar support forums a lot over the last ten years. I dont thinknit really helps much to be honest as you can become a little comfortable in these places which stops you front confronting your issues in the outside world. That said there are times where life gets so stressful that it can be good to have this type of thing as a safety net.

Mona Pereth
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23 Nov 2019, 5:57 pm

Roboto wrote:

The problem is the number of fools giving out bad advice because they happen to be in a time of good luck in their lives, but thinking it's all their own doing. This disregard for the element of luck is what drives so many autistic people to depression... And those who are struggling and depressed simply get in to arguments with these posters to tell them that their simplification doesn't apply 100% of the time and the two get in an argument for 2+ pages... What a waste. It's like watching two people in wheelchairs argue about how to become a sprinter in the Olympics...

There are some people here with a wealth of life experience and knowledge and I notice their posts and they are mostly skipped over and ignored. Those who are more awake to their own brain types will likely understand what I'm saying. Those who post the most tend to crowd the good and informed advice and knowledge with their oversimplified views of the world and an arrogance about their own situation and they take over the threads... They say things, that if you've been in counseling with an expert on autism, you'll know are incredibly outdated, harmful and is the crap an ignorant guidance counselor at school would say...

Fake it until you make it is not an approach that works for the autistic community...

I agree that the above are problems in this forum, but I feel that we shouldn't throw out the baby with the bathwater. WP is otherwise a valuable community for reasons others here have mentioned. Perhaps we need more discussion about why certain common kinds of advice are outdated and harmful?

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Dear_one
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23 Nov 2019, 6:30 pm

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Fern
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23 Nov 2019, 7:31 pm

For me, there are some days where I can't summon the courage to interact with people. Sometimes I am just too afraid I'll mess things up or something will be too loud, or I will have a stressful day.

On days like that I sometimes come here. It helps me remember that I'm not alone in my experiences. For me the value of WP is less about advice, and more about me remembering that I am not the only one facing these kinds of problems.

Here I can do that in a quiet environment where I don't have to look at anyone. I can stim. I can sit with my knees up. I can wear comfortable clothing. It is soothing. -and it stops me from cutting myself off completely. We do interact here, after all. This is important to stopping me from getting too far into my own head, as I'm prone to doing.

Amity
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23 Nov 2019, 8:17 pm

Dear_one wrote:

Amity wrote:

<snip>

When I did ask for advice I found that although I got signposts from replies, I did not usually get the answers I was hoping to and realised what I needed at that time would only come from a paid professional. I wasnt in a position to afford this. <snip>.

See above - your odds of getting help from a pro are only about 10%. The best counsellor I've ever found, who I saw monthly for a decade, completely missed the connection between the onset of my sleep disorder and my concurrent mood changes, which is not even an AS specialty. Her value was primarily as a willing, safe listener who could answer a few questions about "normal" states, and generally encourage me to keep exploring. The single most helpful thing she said was that she couldn't use superior logic to talk me out of depression, and she didn't even remember saying it.

I agree there is a lack of professionals offering the type of guidance needed. From my perspective this gap in suitable support comes from a theory of mind deficit on the professionals part.

For now and the foreseeable future I believe the responsibility to understand their experience of autism lies with the individual. I think this understanding of the self helps people to find their real voice.

Also, thank you Skibum.

CarlM
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23 Nov 2019, 9:07 pm

I think this forum is working fine. When someone has a specific problem they are likely to get varied advice and they can use what they like. The advantage of a forum is that bad advice will never go unchallenged.

I also feel a good sense of community here .

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ASPartOfMe
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24 Nov 2019, 5:04 am

Roboto wrote:

I tend to think this forum does more bad than good for many of the posters.
There's far too much advice being given and taken around here by nearly anonymous posters with no history of work or knowledge on what they're advising on.
Thoughts?

This is true for most forums.

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skibum
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24 Nov 2019, 1:25 pm

Irimias wrote:

I understand what you mean and I kind of agree with you. I think, however, that for some people, this is all they have. They don't have access to help in the outside world so even though there are good and not so good things about depending on a site like this, for some, it is all the help they can get and they are grateful to have it. And hopefully this can be a place of support, refuge, and companionship for them.

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Wreck It Ralph

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24 Nov 2019, 2:18 pm

If it wasn't for everyone on this site, I would not have known anything much about the reasons why I have been struggling. I find it so hard to believe how long I have been struggling and not knowing what was causing it, and I find it a miracle that through such tallented people here, that you were able to show me all the answers.
I am so greatful!

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skibum
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24 Nov 2019, 3:16 pm

Fern wrote:

This is exactly why we are here. I am so glad we can be here for you Fern. I feel the exact same way as you.

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Wreck It Ralph

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24 Nov 2019, 3:17 pm

Amity wrote:

Dear_one wrote:

Amity wrote:

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Wreck It Ralph

skibum
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24 Nov 2019, 3:19 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:

We love that you found us MG.

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24 Nov 2019, 3:41 pm

skibum wrote:

Mountain Goat wrote:

We love that you found us MG.

Thank you for being my friend.

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skibum
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24 Nov 2019, 4:23 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:

skibum wrote:

Mountain Goat wrote:

We love that you found us MG.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for being mine. :heart:

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24 Nov 2019, 4:27 pm

skibum wrote:

Mountain Goat wrote:

skibum wrote:

Mountain Goat wrote:

We love that you found us MG.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for being mine. :heart:

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JustFoundHere
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05 Dec 2019, 1:32 pm

How many people feel they need to apply thoughtful sarcasm to "break the ice" so to speak here on WP?

* Note on thoughtful sarcasm - imagine sarcasm by speaking in a curt English accent.

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