16 Feb 2021, 3:25 pm
16 Feb 2021, 4:34 pm
SharonB wrote:
Lost_dragon wrote:
However, drawing all members into enthusiastic participation? Can people actually do that? 
I wonder how much about ASD is extremes (self-regulation, expression difficulties). My ASD-like daughter and ASD-like BFF are similar to what you state. It's hard to tell what my daughter likes, perhaps a softening in her features (she doesn't like to talk either). On the other hand, I (ASD-diagnosed) am usually over-enthusiastic. Even so, I wouldn't say that I "draw members in" so much as spam them.
I think that I'm a fairly low energy person in general. On the plus side, people sometimes state that I have a calm reassuring presence. That I am an anchor. I find the task of amping people up difficult and I rarely come across as amped up. As a result, I can seem disinterested or that I know what I'm doing even when I actually don't.
Typically I am better suited to the task of amusing or calming people down. My voice often remains fairly level and I've been told I have a 'voiceover / radio voice'.
16 Feb 2021, 6:56 pm
Lost_dragon wrote:
SharonB wrote:
Lost_dragon wrote:
However, drawing all members into enthusiastic participation? Can people actually do that?
I wonder how much about ASD is extremes (self-regulation, expression difficulties). My ASD-like daughter and ASD-like BFF are similar to what you state. It's hard to tell what my daughter likes, perhaps a softening in her features (she doesn't like to talk either). On the other hand, I (ASD-diagnosed) am usually over-enthusiastic. Even so, I wouldn't say that I "draw members in" so much as spam them.
I think that I'm a fairly low energy person in general. On the plus side, people sometimes state that I have a calm reassuring presence. That I am an anchor. I find the task of amping people up difficult and I rarely come across as amped up. As a result, I can seem disinterested or that I know what I'm doing even when I actually don't.
Typically I am better suited to the task of amusing or calming people down. My voice often remains fairly level and I've been told I have a 'voiceover / radio voice'.
Yep, that's similar to my BFF. Steady. Neutral. In her case she says she's never really experienced joy or despair, which is funny b/c I see that she does (physical telltale signs), but she doesn't feel it that way. Meanwhile I am bouncing off the walls in similar situations. She doesn't have the calm voice, but like you she looks knowledgeable: she is frequently asked by tourists where places are which is so funny because it happens even when she is the tourist!! !! She also wonders if her clothes draw people in: comfortable, relatively drab. (Unlike me in mind-searing neon colors -or as close as I can get 40 years after the '80s.)
As far as EQ goes --- I am painfully self-aware of my impact on others and she is blissfully unaware. She is a very caring and empathic person in many ways, but while I am hypersensitive she seems to be hyposensitive in certain areas. Again, I wonder about AS extremes. I'm glad your friends can depend on your for stability and reassurance. If someone needs instability and wacky inspiration, I'm here on the other side of that spectrum!
17 Feb 2021, 9:47 am
SharonB wrote:
Yep, that's similar to my BFF. Steady. Neutral. In her case she says she's never really experienced joy or despair, which is funny b/c I see that she does (physical telltale signs), but she doesn't feel it that way. Meanwhile I am bouncing off the walls in similar situations. She doesn't have the calm voice, but like you she looks knowledgeable: she is frequently asked by tourists where places are which is so funny because it happens even when she is the tourist!! ! !
Before covid, I was often stopped and asked for directions. Which is a shame because I lack directional sense. Even when I know where somewhere is, I find it difficult to put into verbal terms. I'd find it easier if I could just have them follow me, so I usually lie and say I don't know where it is. Technically it's true, I don't know what exact direction you have to travel in to get there but I know the route somewhere in my mind.
Quote:
She also wonders if her clothes draw people in: comfortable, relatively drab. (Unlike me in mind-searing neon colors -or as close as I can get 40 years after the '80s.)
Your friend has a similar fashion taste to me by the sounds of it. I typically wear outfits with three main colours; two muted complementary colours and the third a darker and more saturated colour. Sometimes I wear patterns but my outfits aren't particularly bold. I use jewellery now and then to add detail.
Are you familiar with the Dorian Grey effect? I may make a thread about this, as it is something I think about now and then.
Quote:
As far as EQ goes --- I am painfully self-aware of my impact on others and she is blissfully unaware. She is a very caring and empathic person in many ways, but while I am hypersensitive she seems to be hyposensitive in certain areas. Again, I wonder about AS extremes. I'm glad your friends can depend on your for stability and reassurance. If someone needs instability and wacky inspiration, I'm here on the other side of that spectrum!
I am hypersensitive in certain areas. Especially in terms of physical senses - smell, hearing, taste, touch etc. I get overwhelmed easily but on the plus side I am perceptive. As a result I go for plainer foods (plus I have a sensitive stomach). It was quite jarring growing up and learning that things that smell strongly to me smell of nothing at all to a considerable amount of people. One time I ended up in a conversation where someone asked me how a particular food smelt, and I kept comparing it to things only to be told that they don't smell of anything either. I struggled to find a smell comparison they were familiar with.
Don't get me wrong, I can be an unstable disorganised mess, but there's usually some consistency to the organised chaos that is my life.
17 Feb 2021, 2:52 pm
Lost_dragon wrote:
Are you familiar with the Dorian Grey effect? I may make a thread about this, as it is something I think about now and then.
Ms. Google says it's mostly about faces matching names over time. Is that what you were thinking of? That's interesting as I had two names picked for my daughter and when we saw her, we abandoned the "softer" name and gave her the "stronger" name. So did we name her according to her character or face, or will her character or face develop to match her name?
Lost_dragon wrote:
I am hypersensitive in certain areas. Especially in terms of physical senses - smell, hearing, taste, touch etc. ... Don't get me wrong, I can be an unstable disorganised mess, but there's usually some consistency to the organised chaos that is my life.
I see in your signature you are possibly B.A.P. That's interesting b/c we're undecided if my BFF is BAP or ASD. Maybe BAP, but we understand each other really well. She had less meltdowns, but then she doesn't do much. I do a lot and have more meltdowns. I bet if we reversed our lifestyles I'd have less and she'd have more.
Thanks for the conversation!
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11 Dec 2021, 6:56 am
Self-Awareness 4
Self-Management 3
Social-Awareness 5
Relationship Management 1
This test made my brain hurt. I'm surprised I scored highest in social awareness. I would have guessed that would be where I scored the lowest. Go figure.
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